


Slow Blooming -On Hiatus-

by charmtimesthree



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Angst, Arranged Marriage, Eventual Happy Ending, Fantasy, Gore, M/M, Magic, NSFW eventually, Past Child Abuse, Slow Burn, Very happy ending, Violence, Violence!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-14
Updated: 2019-07-26
Packaged: 2019-10-10 10:04:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 44
Words: 54,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17423816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charmtimesthree/pseuds/charmtimesthree
Summary: The smell of burning hair isn’t pleasant, but the incense sweetens the acrid taste in the air. Viktor looks up at the stars, exhaling slowly. He wonders what Yakov would have done. There's no answer to Viktor's question other than a sniffle from Yuuri.Viktor desperately wants to comfort the mage. But that has to wait a little more. The two witches conducting their union finish up some meaningless speech that’s pure drivel. Viktor doesn’t need anymore confirmation that he’s bound to Yuuri.Although Yuuri is dressed in his traditional silks that make him anonymous, Viktor can feel the hum of their soulbond just under his breastbone. It’s warm and it tugs, urging him to be closer to the mage.At last the witches release them with their own blessings for the future.In the center of the camp the sound of drums and echo of trumpets signal the beginning of their union.Viktor is supposed to join the festivities and show off his ghostly husband. But the thought of a party sours on Viktor’s tongue, just a few days ago he and Yakov were planning something for his own birthday, something that would include his future mage and husband. But now...He looks over at Yuuri.A child.Gods.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to something VERY self-indulgent that I wrote while sick over the holidays.  
> I will be posting once every two weeks.

The ceremony starts hours before they even meet. Viktor is ritually washed and oiled, the women who purify his body tip him forward, grumbling about his height. His hair is scented and his hands treated with special dye that stain his skin and nails a dark, forest green. The color of rebirth and new beginnings.

An old woman with filthy fingernails busily tap-taps away at his nape, using traditional utensils to tattoo the image of a snowflake onto his skin. The pain radiates out like stinging nettles, like a scraping vine, he hopes the old crone has a steady hand. He wants his tattoo to be just as beautiful as his beloved’s.

Just thinking about Stars-child makes Viktor want to dance, he can’t believe they finally get to be together. Years after their first meeting, he finally gets to see the mage’s face.

He wishes Yakov were with him, and the thought renders him mute. The reason Viktor is being promoted to Captain and the reason Stars-child is ascending to royal mage are that their respective superiors have died.

The mistress of ceremonies reads from the holy book, instructing him in his responsibilities.

To care and guide the mage.

To protect the battalion until his dying breath.

Viktor agrees, surprised his words are steady. The binding words catch in his throat like gentle fingernails drumming on his adam’s apple, Viktor shivers as the magic settles over his skin. But the spell is incomplete, the royal mage must do his half for the spell to seal. And a few minutes later Viktor can feel the magic tightening around him, seeping into his bones and muscles.

He barely refrains from rubbing his ribs, feeling the magic squirm and burrow deep, deep, deep.

The old witch drapes him in dark burgundy silks, obscuring his vision, and leads him by the hand back outside to the ceremonial fire that has died down to a small crackling hearth.

From the opposite side comes the newly-minted royal mage.

Stars-child.

Viktor swallows hard to keep from crying out.

Yakov and the Elder Stars are both dead. Their bodies are being purified for the beyond even as he and Stars approach one another.

They are at opposite ends of a circle that must not remain open for long, lest demons and polluting spirits infiltrate them both.

Viktor’s knees are weak as he comes close to the once Stars-child, now the new Stars.

Stars is shrouded in navy blue, wearing a wide-brim hat edged in thousands of small glowing beads. The beads hold fragments of power and magic, testament to Stars’ lineage and power.

Viktor is shaking. He wonders if Stars is as scared as he is.

He wonders what would happen if either of them reject the bond.

It’s unthinkable. Viktor doesn’t know of any reason why Stars wouldn’t want him.

But what if?

Would they be killed?

Ostracized?

Tried for treason?

Viktor kneels in front of the embers, trying to shake away the heavy and inappropriate thoughts. He should be happy. He should be celebrating his and Stars’ impending union. He hopes not to disappoint Stars.

“Stand as one.” Orders the other witch, the one who escorted Stars. Viktor realizes he’s missed most of the beginning chant.

Stars moves to stand shoulder to shoulder with Viktor, staring out at the sea of faces of their battalion. The people whose lives are now their responsibility.

Viktor wonders if Stars will grow to love him, he has already given his heart to the mage. For no other reason other than knowing Stars _chose_ to be here. Stars could have decided to be sent back to the academy, to wait for a new captain. But he wanted Viktor.

Viktor shivers, unaccustomed to the shrouding silks that obscure his vision.

“Your new purpose in life,” intones the witch. “Lies before you. You must accept the heavy burden without reserve, without fear.”

Silently, both Viktor and Stars bow their heads and straighten, the silent signal of ‘yes’.

“Turn towards one another and kneel once more.

“Feel the aura of your new bond. This is the one you have known since birth and yet have been separated from until now.”

At the witch’s words, Viktor wants to reach forward to grasp Stars, to comfort them. They are probably as broken-hearted as Viktor. Stars has lost his mentor, the person who was like a parent.

It’s all Viktor knows about Stars as the ceremonial ropes of flower and clay beads are placed around their shoulders. He doesn’t know if Stars is a man or woman, how old they are, nor the color of their eyes or the pitch of their voice.

Viktor doesn’t know anything.

The clay beads shine with magic, tightening around their shoulders. The flowers rustle and sway from the movement.

When nothing more happens Viktor allows himself a deeper breath.

The bond sparks to life, becoming a living thing between them. He can _feel_ Stars emotions now. There’s heartbreak, fear, and excitement. Most of all there is hope. Viktor projects back comfort and warmth.

“Stand so you may be tied together while you walk this earth.”

This time the witches come up behind them and sweep aside parts of the silk shrouds, exposing their hair. With nimble fingers their hair is braided together, their shoulders bumping closer and closer until their heads come together.

Then with little ceremony someone cuts the long braid.

“You are now tied.”

Viktor’s vision blurs, and it isn’t until he receives a small nudge from Stars that he remembers to move. He leads the way to the captain’s tent. He passes into the front room where all of the officers wait for them.

The officers watch Viktor and Stars with wide eyes as they pass through bowing and then quickly exiting the tent. Someone, Viktor would bet his last copper coin on Chris, wolf whistles on their way out.

Viktor leads Stars into the private portion of the captain’s tent. It’s suddenly very, very quiet and they both stare at the large bed that is now Viktor’s as they are left very, very alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im kind of kicking myself for making this Such a slow burn. I want things to Happen already.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Viktor and Yuuri meet for the first time!  
> Heart eyes ensue from both sides.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading this fic.  
> I'm trying to be all ~mysterious~ by withholding information so I hope its not too confusing!!

If they’re alone, that means the ceremony is almost over.

Now they just have to consummate the union. Viktor’s breath shakes, he’s not used to the shroud and he rips it off, feeling like he’s suffocating.

The burgundy silk slides off his head, his short hair feeling odd and light. His neck stings from the tattoo and cold air.

Stars removes the jingling hat with its long curtain of beads. Viktor knows that the beads will fuel many of Stars’ future endeavors, especially those energy-heavy spells that are required during battle. The mage carefully tucks it into a hat box conveniently left out. Viktor realizes its Stars’ luggage, two small bags. That’s it. That’s all Stars has brought to Viktor’s tent.

Viktor steps close, wondering who the person in front of him is. He’s known the mage-child for as long as he’s been Yakov’s squire. Stars-child had been a little shadow draped in black, growing taller and taller as the years passed.

Growing, but always silent by the Elder-Stars’ side.

Stars jerks back as Viktor approaches, quickly raising a silencing spell around them, ensuring their privacy before reaching out of his shroud with gloved hands to pull the rest of the garb off, layers of silk and delicate spider’s lace hiding him away from prying eyes.

Stars is a slim young man with delicate doe eyes and bitten, chapped lips.

Viktor is standing in front of a child he’s supposed to bed.

Viktor gasps and Stars blushes, looking down at his feet.

“You’re a child!”

Stars frowns though his hands tremble violently. “I’m not a child.”

“But you’re not an adult.” Viktor doesn’t mean to be unkind, but the past several days have dragged his heart through mud. “I don’t want a child!”

Stars flinches. The royal mage grows pale, tears gather in his eyes. “You’re rejecting me?”

Viktor grows cold at the thought, sick at even considering that route. “That’s not what I meant.” He reaches out and pulls Stars into his arms. “We’ve tied our lives together. Just because I won’t bed you doesn’t mean I won’t take care of you.” Stars _whuffs_ softly as Viktor crushes him in an embrace.

Stars remains unmoving, hands fisted on Viktor’s chest. “But we have to consummate the union.” There’s a mullish set of his chin that makes Viktor nervous.

“Consummate...?” Viktor strokes Star’s upturned face gently, “And what does that mean? For you.”

“It means...” Stars blushes, scowling at Viktor’s amusement. “It means you have to be inside me.”

 _How blunt!_ Viktor nods seriously, “I understand. Will you kiss me?”

Stars takes a deep breath, his eyes roving over Viktor’s face, hands relaxing slowly. Viktor wonders what Stars’ thinks of this whole thing, even as their faces brush together, warm breaths mingling.

Viktor shoves his tongue halfway down Stars’ throat, who chokes and yanks back.

“There. Our union is consummated. I’ve been inside you.”

Stars shoves him back, breaking out of Viktor’s grip. “I’m a joke to you. I’m nothing!” Stars hugs himself, his voice cracks.

Viktor loses his smile when Stars collapses onto his knees, sobbing and rocking back and forth.

“Stars! I’m sorry! You’re not a joke, you’re my husband. I want you. I want you with me but—”

Stars slaps his hands away, his mouth open in an ugly wailing slash.

The polite chiming of the front bell freezes them both.

With a shaking hand, Stars undoes the silencing spell.

“Yes? What is it? Why are you interrupting us?” Viktor can’t be blamed for being rude. They are supposed to be given a moment of peace.

“Ah... Captain.”

Viktor bristles at the thin, reedy voice of the man who is the royal liaison between field battalions and the palace. “What?”

“The silencing spell needs to be removed. We must be able to confirm your claim on the mage.”

Stars stares up at him with deep accusation, his nose red and raw, dripping. Viktor sighs, kneeling down next to Stars to rub the boy’s arm. All he wants is to wrap Stars up into a soft blanket and ply him with fruits until that injured look is smoothed away.

“Is that really necessary?”

The liaison sniffles, does the man have a cold? It’s an annoying affectation that immediately gets on Viktor’s last nerve. “Yes, Captain. It _is_ necessary, or else it cannot be properly documented that the mage is settled with you. And if no claim is—ahem—laid upon such a powerful asset then another willing captain can be found. And for such a mage as the Stars lineage... It wouldn’t be a problem.”

“Yes, I know!” snarls Viktor, his skin crawling in distaste. Stars shudders in his arms and Viktor smooths a hand down his back, pulling the boy in closer.

The mage is cowering, trembling with suppressed desire to run. “Please,” he whispers, soft enough for Viktor’s ears only.

“Give us a few minutes and then you’ll get what you want,” spat Viktor.

The liaison sighs, “Very well, Captain.”

Stars raises the silencing spell again with Viktor’s permission.

“How old are you.” Viktor picks himself up and leads Stars over to sit on the large lavish bed.

“I’m an adult.” Stars’ awkward answer and stubborn look is answer enough.

“Okay... So what if you were given an apprentice of... say twelve and told you must consummate _them_?” Viktor is pretty sure Stars is sixteen or seventeen since a royal mage usually begins training before age 10.

Stars recoils, mouth curling with disgust. “Wh—That’s completely different!”

Viktor tugs the shoulder-length gloves from Stars’ hands gently, revealing milk-white skin and hands dyed the same color as Viktor’s. “It’s really not.” There are three snowflakes meticulously embroidered on the palm of the glove, the same snowflake that is tattooed on Viktor and Stars’ nape. He puts the gloves aside, taking Stars’ hand, traces slow figure eights on Stars’ palm. “Can you please understand that I don’t want to hurt you? We’re partners and more. If we make love now... You could regret it.”

“I won’t!”

“But what if you do? I could never forgive myself for causing you _any_ pain.”

He’s relieved when Stars lowers his head, thinking about Viktor’s words. “You don’t want to lie with me but... you _do_ want me.”

“More than anything,” Viktor kisses Stars’ palm, resting the weight of his head there. “I’ve seen your work evolve and strengthen over the years. And Yakov always spoke positively of you. We have all the time in the world. Don’t you agree?”

It may have been the wrong thing to say, they both grow silent and pensive, reminders of Yakov and the Elder-Stars’ last days heavy on their minds.

“Will you ever want me? Like that?” Stars voice is so small and hesitant that Viktor’s heart aches.

Viktor swallows against his desire to kiss Stars, against the overwhelming urge to turn him into a live-wire of ecstasy so neither of them ever have to be sad again. “We will grow into it. Together.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We finally get some real interaction between our two faves!  
> Thanks for reading, I'm really enjoying reading your comments! :)

The front bell chimes again and this time both he and Stars shoot murderous looks over.

Sooner rather than later Yuuri is going to have to lower the silencing spell.

 “What’s your name?” Viktor squeezes Stars’ hands, “You haven’t said.”

“Oh! I’m Yuuri.” He breathes slowly, staring at Viktor with his wide, dark eyes. “Yuuri.”

Viktor smiles warmly, rubbing Yuuri’s knuckles, feeling the delicate bones move and settle between his fingers. “We’re going to have to pretend to ‘consummate’.” Viktor snorts, shaking his head.

Yuuri stutters, cheeks growing pink like an early flower in snow. Viktor strokes the cool skin of his face with affection.

“How will we do th-that?” Although he looks nervous, Yuuri straightens up, gripping Viktor’s hand tightly.

Viktor smirks. “Yuuri~...” He curls the vowels around his tongue, tasting and weighing the name of the mage. It’s perfect.

He pulls Yuuri on top of the bed, holding his hands as they stand on top of the plush comforter. “We’ll jump on the bed making moaning noises and then shout at the end, okay? You’ve come with Yakov and me to the theater before, right? We’re doing a farce.”

“Our love making is not a farce!”

Viktor grins, “But being loud enough for the royal liaison to enjoy is really weird, don’t you think?”

Yuuri shrugged, “I’ve been subjected to weirder things.”

Viktor grows still and Yuuri shrinks down. Viktor can’t help whatever face he’s making, it must be scary if Yuuri is shying away.

“V-Viktor?” Yuuri cowers even more, eyes growing huge, his face flushing in fear.

Viktor exhales slowly, his temper is a slow-cooking beast and there are sure to be other opportunities for it to explode. “Anyway. Start jumping and huffing. Oh, and lower the silencing spell.”

Yuuri nods as he hops on the bed, but only makes half hearted noises. Which... fine, but Viktor really wants to sell this. He wants there to be no doubt in the stupid liaison’s mind that he gave it _good_ to Yuuri.

“Yuuri.” Viktor stops him with a hand on his shoulder, whispering. “I need you to think of. . .something that you _really_ crave. Something that makes you lose control despite everything telling you not to.”

“Uhm. . .” Yuuri blushes bright red and his eyes go hazy. Viktor’s stomach clenches in response, misplaced jealousy rising up like a pissed snake. _Chill out Nikiforov. . ._ Viktor swallows when a small but pointed moan escapes Yuuri’s lips.

“Okay. . .Good. Just like that, but louder.”

Yuuri gives him a dopey smile. “Okay.”

They go back to jumping on the bed, moaning and groaning. It’s all so ridiculous that Viktor can’t help but giggle. Yuuri grins back, doing a little spin on the bed, tipping over the edge with a yelp. Viktor lunges with arms stretched out and they both fall off, shrieking and landing with a loud thump.

“Are you alright? Are you hurt? Oh my god. I’m so sorry.” Viktor cradles Yuuri’s head, but Yuuri is shaking with stifled laughter, tears are leaking out of his eyes. “Oh geez.” He collapses against Yuuri’s chest.

“Ahem. That will be sufficient.” The liaison’s voice is strangled.

Yuuri raises the silencing spell again and then bursts out laughing. “Oh my _god!”_ He curls his fingers into the raw edges of Viktor’s hair, enjoying how the silvery strands are so soft against his skin.

“Come on. Let’s sit on the bed and pretend to be basking in post-coital bliss.”

“You use a lot of euphemisms for sex.”

“Do I?” Viktor fixes the pillows and sits Yuuri on one side, nudges him against the headboard. “Well you certainly made some. . .engaging sounds. Can I ask who inspired you?”

“Uh. . .Well—”

Viktor’s face feels frozen, his teeth feel like fangs over-crowding his mouth. He knows that it’s impossible for it to be another person. It would be against the rules for Yuuri to show his face to another living being. But. . .teenagers are known to be creative, Yuuri could have attended a festival and remained masked during this hypothetical tryst. “Where did you meet them? A festival?”

Stars opens his mouth and then closes it. “It’s not a person. It’s. . .my favorite food.” Yuuri realizes how stupid it sounds and blushes up to the tips of his ears.

Viktor cracks, collapses against Yuuri’s chest, laughing. “I’m disappointed you don’t think _I’m_ sexy.”

“Nngh.” Yuuri pushes him away. “We have to go finish the ceremony.”

“Right! But we have a little time. Let’s learn a little about one another. Your favorite food is obviously katsudon.” Viktor cranes his head up, landing a kiss to the underside of Yuuri’s jaw.

Yuuri grabs one of the pillows to try and smother himself with.

~~~

~~~

A few minutes later they’re once more kneeling in front of the embers that remain from the large bonfire. Viktor is holding the heavy braid of their combined hair, Yuuri’s ink black and his own silvery blonde. Yuuri spreads a fragrant incense over the embers and Viktor gently places the braid on the embers.

The smell of burning hair isn’t pleasant but the incense sweetens the acrid taste to something bearable. Viktor looks up at the stars and exhales slowly. _I’m sorry I couldn’t do more Yakov. I promise to do my best both for the battalion and for Yuuri. Gods. He’s a child, Yakov! What would you have done?_

He hears Yuuri sniffle and desperately wants to comfort him. But that has to wait a little more. The two witches conducting their union finish up some meaningless speech that’s pure drivel. Viktor doesn’t need anymore confirmation that he’s bound to Yuuri.

Although Yuuri is dressed in the traditional silks that make him anonymous, Viktor can feel the hum of their bond just under his breastbone. It’s warm and it tugs at him, urging him to be closer to the mage.

At last the witches release them with their own personal blessings for the future.

In the center of the camp the festive sound of drums and trumpets echo as the party that celebrates their union starts in earnest.

Viktor is supposed to join them and show off his ghostly husband. But the thought of a party sours on Viktor’s tongue, just a few days ago he and Yakov were planning something for his own birthday, something that would include his future mage and husband. But now. . .

He stands and helps Yuuri to his feet, careful not to snag any of the long silks.

“Stars and I will retire for the night. With the abrupt passing of Yakov and the Elder Stars, we have much to talk about.”

Chris, his lieutenant, frowns, “Vik. At least show your face, let everyone know that things are okay.”

Viktor knows it’s sound advice, but he’s not sure Yuuri can withstand being scrutinized.

He’s about to refuse when Yuuri squeezes his fingers, taking a step towards the celebrations. And through the soulbond he’s flooded with feelings of determination and hope.

“Very well, Chris. Just a few minutes. And then I want us to be left alone.”

Chris grins. “They’re that delicious?”

Yuuri’s grip goes ironclad.

“It’s been a difficult transition. For both of us.” Viktor keeps his voice low.

Chris ducks his head. “I’m sorry, Viktor. I can’t imagine losing Yakov like that. And Stars. . .If you’ll forgive the impertinence, if you loved your teacher like Viktor loved Yakov, then the loss is indeed heavy.”

Yuuri bows his head, his grip going slack, releasing Viktor completely, he retreats into the safety of his shroud, becoming a lonely dark pillar of silks.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :) I'm so happy so many of you enjoy this story, I didn't think it would catch much attention!
> 
> edit: I removed the underage tag b/c ppl were yelling at me about it saying I was tricking them :/ Like bruh. The problem here isn't that I'm being careful with tags, it's that you want to read about underage characters being hurt. :////

They follow Chris to where there is a large central fire, sending out clouds of dark, choking smoke. The edges of the dancefloor are dark so the tables circling the dancefloor are mostly shadow. Chris leads them to a table crowded with plump cushions and creaking under platters of food. But the lieutenant doesn’t stay with them, he’s swept out to dance. Viktor helps settle Yuuri on a pillow and watches him expertly spear large slices of meat and spinach with his fork and then retreat into the shroud to eat.

A few seconds later Yuuri lifts his hand: the smoke from the fire dissipates and tiny glowing lights sprout from thin air, brightening up the area.

Viktor smiles at the cheers and whistles from the men and women of the battalion. He spies the lesser mages sitting together to their right. They frequently look over at Yuuri and then away.

Yakov said that Elder Stars never trusted them. He wonders how Yuuri feels about the lesser mages.

Somehow, Chris hauls Viktor onto the dancefloor. He doesn’t even have the opportunity to promise Yuuri a quick return before being yanked away.

He’s not gone long, maybe ten minutes. But it’s enough. As he makes his way slowly back, he sees someone crouched by Yuuri, talking rapidly and gesturing wildly. It’s one of the lesser mages.

But Yuuri, from what he can tell, is calm. Not that Viktor can tell much from the smooth line of the silk that drape over his face like a curtain. But the royal mage isn’t fidgety and their bond-line is quiet, humming pleasantly with quiet energy. The lesser mage who’s talking to Yuuri disappears before Viktor reaches the table.

“I had fun dancing,” comments Viktor. “Would you dance with me?”

A hand appears out from the folds of silk and tugs on the material. A wave of displeasure and frustration travels through their bond.

“Right. I’m sorry. I wish there was a better way to protect you.”

Resignation, then silence from the bond.

“Shall we go? I want to talk.”

Yuuri nods.

~~~

~~~

“Did you know the lesser mages hated my teacher?” Yuuri speaks once the silencing spell is up in their tent.

“Is that what the mage was talking to you about?”

“Yeah.” Yuuri pulls off his hat and the outer covering that’s stitched to the wide brim. Underneath that are several more layers of silk and lace, held securely by a headband with an attached lip over the front.

Viktor kicks off his boots and sits on a low stool to clean and oil them. He watches with feigned disinterest as Yuuri peels off his shoulder-length gloves, leaving him in a sleeveless tunic tucked into loose trousers. A wide belt made of thousands of beads is the only decoration he wears.

“I meant it you know. I wish there was a better way of protecting you than having you wear all those layers.”

Yuuri shrugs. “It doesn’t matter. The Queens will keep the laws in place even after the war ends.”

Viktor frowns, he’s personally met the twin queens and they’re both lovely people. “Why would they do that?”

Yuuri opens his mouth to answer, gets a single, meaningless syllable out before he snaps his teeth shut. “You think it’s crazy.”

“Do I think it’s crazy that the monarchs who govern and keep us safe would want to enslave the people who support and protect _them?_ Yeah.”

Yuuri blushes, “Y-you’re right. It’s just stupid stuff my teacher would ramble on about when they got drunk. Sorry.”

Viktor shakes his head. “You should be careful of believing such fanciful conspiracies. Did you know the younger Queen’s children is a royal mage?”

Yuuri ducks his head, “I’m sorry. I won’t bring it up again.”

“I just think it’s far fetched,” says Viktor gently, “So. . .that’s what the lesser mage was talking to you about?”

“Not exactly.” Yuuri looked down at his toes, clad in sturdy leather boots. “He was. . .testing the waters. See if I would talk to him.”

Viktor takes a shallow breath, “Did you?”

“No!” Yuuri shakes his head violently, “I’d never betray you like that!”

Viktor sighs in relief. “No, of course not. I guess I’m such a chatterbox, I find it difficult to imagine only speaking to a select few.” Yuuri gives him a wan smile. “The lesser mage looked very excited, are you sure he didn’t say anything inappropriate?”

Yuuri bit his lip, but shook his head. “Nothing worth repeating. Do you have a tub where I can wash?”

“Yuuri. . .” Viktor doesn’t mean to crowd the young mage but he needs to know if everything is okay. “You know you can tell me anything and I won’t be mad.”

Yuuri grimaces. “You got mad when you thought katsudon was a person.”

 _Ouch, but. . .point_. “We were newly wed! I was feeling insecure. And the faces you made. . .” He pinches Yuuri’s cheek playfully.

Yuuri’s lips wobble into a smile, “We’re still newly wed.” He looks Viktor up-and-down, shaking his head.

Viktor shows Yuuri to a screened-off area with a wooden tub connected to pipes leading outside. “There’s soaps and creams in that box by the stool.” He shows Yuuri how to control the water flow.

“Uhm, thank you. Can. . .I ask one more question? If that’s okay. . .” Yuuri looks down at his toes, if it had been Ruth she would have already yelled at him for being so mouthy and inappropriate.

“Of course, sweetheart. What is it?” Viktor smiles sweetly at Yuuri who looks askance to the tub that’s quickly filling up with hot water.

“Well. . .Where am I going to sleep? There’s only one bed and I left my sleep pallet back at. . .” He trails off, blushing in embarrassment. “Sorry. You don’t have to answer my stupid questions.”

“Don’t apologize,” murmured Viktor gently, rubbing Yuuri’s shoulder. “I can sleep on the floor until we get you a bed—”

“What. . .” Yuuri looks frightened, which confuses Viktor, “No!”

“There’s nothing to worry about,” Viktor tries to reassure Yuuri who only freaks out more, tugging on his shoulder-length hair. Viktor notes the witches left it much longer than his own. “I don’t mind sleeping next to you. I slept with my teacher when she wasn’t with Captain Yakov. Just _please_ don’t sleep on the floor!”

Viktor paused, his mind flooding with information and new speculation about the Elder Stars. Quietly, so as to not startle Yuuri, he asked. “She? What was her name?”

Yuuri clearly doesn’t want to talk about Elder-Stars, but he caves, answering quietly. “Ruth. I miss her.”

“I know. We’ll miss them for a long time, but you can talk to me, okay?”

Yuuri gave him a look of utter confusion but nods.

“Look, get started on your bath while I go steal a bed kit.”

“But. . .”

Viktor squeezed Yuuri’s shoulder. “Don’t argue about this.”

Yuuri’s face crumples. Technically, he’s not supposed to argue about _anything_. He’s supposed to do whatever magic Viktor needs done, to keep him company, and keep an eye on him for the crown.

The tub is supplied with a hot water pipe since Viktor is a captain, which is nice, but the hot water makes Yuuri sleepy and he struggles to stay awake. Until he remembers what Viktor said about not wanting to bed him.

He was supposed to seduce Viktor to keep him happy for the crown, and he’s failed _miserably_ at that. Yuuri sighs, abruptly annoyed with how short his hair is. Now he can’t keep it in a neat braid and he isn’t good at doing crown braids.

He sinks below the water for a few seconds, wondering what he’s supposed to do. He had mentally prepared himself for Viktor to have sex with him right away, not expecting the captain to hold back. What does it matter anyway, waiting a few more years if they have the soulbond?

But of course Viktor wouldn’t want a child, the handsome and strapping captain wouldn’t want someone inexperienced and timid like _him._ Yuuri groans, willing himself not to cry. He mustn’t cry in front of Viktor again since it seems to freak him out.

 Morosely, Yuuri pokes his own soft stomach until he reaches muscle. Ruth had always despaired at how he never lost his baby fat, despite all the times she restricted his food and made him work until he collapsed.

“I’m glad you’re gone,” whispers Yuuri into his cupped hands. He doesn’t raise his voice above a scraped whisper, in case Viktor is lurking nearby, listening. “I’m glad you died.”

Yuuri lifts himself halfway out of the tub. “Viktor? I don’t have a towel, where can I get one?”

He’s puzzled by the silence. Is the captain even there?

“Viktor. . .?”

Nothing.

_H u h._

Feeling only a twinge of guilt for making a mess, Yuuri steps out of the tub, dripping over everything. There’s no one in the bedroom or in the little alcove with the chamber pot. Skin pimpling, Yuuri goes to the front door, tugging a small flap aside so he can look out through a thick fabric screen. The front room is empty.

He’s alone.

Wow.

Ruth had never allowed him to be alone, he was always accompanied by a lesser mage, Yakov, or herself.

Shivering, Yuuri skips back to the tub, stumped about this situation. What would a _normal_ teenage boy do while all alone, privacy assured?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol @ yuuri


	5. Chapter 5

It doesn’t take Viktor long to secure a comfortable kit and he’s soon striding back towards the Captain’s tent, ducking into the living quarters. He freezes upon hearing a soft moan and a splash of water.

He almost rushes into the bathing area, but when Yuuri sighs and voices another drawn out moan, Viktor realizes what he’s hearing.

He retreats quickly, trying to calm the sudden interest of his body in what Yuuri is doing.

“Oh, Captain. I’m glad I could catch you before you retired for the night.” The battalion’s camp manager, Mels, looks tired as she enters the front room to lay a thick binder on the table. “Since we’re moving soon I wanted to have your approval of how I’ve reorganized camp. I’ve changed quite a few things.”

Viktor’s heart is in his throat, he wants to shove Mels out of the tent, but he can’t possibly go back the private are with Yuuri. . .while Yuuri is busy.

“Alright. I have quite a bit of time. No rush.” He smiles brightly and holds the sleeping kit over the front of his trousers.

.....

.....

After two orgasms, Yuuri’s bones feel like jelly and it takes him a long time to gather himself to dress in his pajamas. Viktor’s bed looks so comfortable and inviting. . . But Viktor would be furious to find a stupid and useless bedmate in the plush comfort.

Yuuri sighed, resigning himself to crouching by the bed to wait for Viktor. He shivered, it was cold even in the tent.

When Viktor dares to reenter the bedroom, most of the lamps are extinguished and there’s a small lump curled on the floor by the bed.

“What the hell.” Viktor murmurs to himself, gingerly smoothing Yuuri’s hair back. The boy is shivering, uncomfortably curled up on the floor.

Viktor observes Yuuri’s face carefully, noting how relaxed he is. But there are smudges under his eyes, and new lines of grief on the boy’s face.

Yuuri’s arms are cold when Viktor picks him up.

“Wh- Viktor?”

“Hush, darling. I’m just putting you to bed.” Somehow, Viktor manages to pull back the blankets and slide Yuuri in. The boy stares at him, wide-eyed.

“I’m sorry.”

Viktor just clicks his tongue. “Go to sleep. We have a long day tomorrow.”

~~~

~~~

When Yuuri wakes up, he’s warm and rested, bundled up in a plush comforter that surrounds him like a cocoon in the crisp morning air. Yawning, he realizes that the noises coming from outside are loud and frequent, a sign it’s late in the day.

_Shit!_

He jumps out of bed, tripping and falling on a pallet that’s positioned next to the bed. Yuuri bangs his shoulder as he rolls over what he realizes is the sleep kit. But he slept on the bed so unless Viktor slept with him. . .

His heart sinking, Yuuri realizes Viktor must have slept down here. _Fuck._ He’s stolen Viktor’s bed and now he’s late for morning rounds. Ruth would have been furious. Viktor must be as well.

Yuuri scrambles into his tunic and trousers, grateful for the wool-lined gloves and socks Ruth had gifted him last year. He inspects himself in the full-length mirror, and once satisfied not a sliver of skin is showing, Yuuri dons a cowl that covers his neck and face, hanging slightly past his shoulders. The heavy shroud is reserved for special occasions. Day wear is less restrictive.

He also wraps himself in a heavy shawl before making his way outside.

“Ah! Stars!” A red-haired woman jumps up from the command table in the front room, she’s wearing an ostentatious bearskin shawl, large claws holding the piece together. Yuuri silently admires it.

He bows his head in recognition.

“Good morning. I hope you slept well.” She grins impudently and Yuuri huffs. “Viktor’s charged me with bringing you up to speed. Let’s see.”

Yuuri takes the chair to the right of Viktor’s high-backed one, motioning for the red-haired woman to continue.

She clears her throat, “My name is Mila, and it’s a great pleasure to meet you. I’m currently in the process of being cleared for contact with high-ranked mages such as yourself so hopefully we’ll be able to speak with one another very soon.”

Yuuri nods, sincerely glad to have his little circle expanded soon. He wonders if there are others also going through that grueling process. It’s unlikely.

“Now, the camp manager came last night to reorganize how camp is set up, but Viktor wanted to know if you also approve. Here.” Mila slides the heavy binder across the table, careful to have her fingers clear before Yuuri reached for it. “Also, here is the complete roster of lesser mages. I assume you know the drill?”

Yuuri nods and Mila grins. “Excellent. Usually they assemble outside of camp to practice. Is that alright?”

Yuuri nods again.

“Next is the list of children who’ve shown potential for magic.”

The list is short, he could get this done today. He’s never tested children without Ruth but it’s not a difficult nor grueling process. He taps the list.

“You want to put this off? No? Do. . .you want to do this today? Oh, okay! I’ll assemble the children at the medic’s tent after lunch. Does that sound good? Great!”

Mila scrawls out a note and sends it off with a messenger, going back to perusing her list. “Hm. Oh, Viktor says that lunch will be hosted at the mess hall if you’d like to join. It’s. . .in ten minutes.”

Yuuri hurries back into the private quarters and shoves his everyday hat over his head. The wide brim and heavy material that drapes around him offers protection as well as the ability to eat.

He and Mila hurry to the mess hall.

“Good morning, Stars.” Viktor teases him, holding out a hand to help Yuuri down onto a cushion. Yuuri ducks his head, his heart beating uncomfortably fast at the gentle rebuke. “Did you sleep well?”

Yuuri settles down onto the cushion, grateful that Viktor’s kept the tradition of sitting on the floor when eating casually. He cranes up to whisper into Viktor’s ear.

“I did. I’m so sorry about taking your bed.”

“Don’t be silly. It’s our bed.” Viktor murmurs just as quietly. With the surrounding noise of the battalion eating and being merry, they can speak without Yuuri being overheard.

“Then why did you sleep on the floor.” It’s a non-question. Viktor purses his lips and Yuuri retreats, feeling a mix of shame and vindication. He’s not supposed to question or argue with Viktor. He shudders remembering Ruth’s lessons, his skin prickles with the memory.

Viktor leans into his space and Yuuri’s heart freezes, sure that Viktor is about to hit him. “We’ll discuss this later.”

Yuuri grows sick with fear, he lowers his head and although Viktor plies him with delicious slices of fresh fruit and delicate sweet-meats, Yuuri can barely stomach more than a few bites. His vision wobbles and there’s a hard roaring in his ears.

After a few cheerful attempts at hand feeding him and failing, Viktor grows quiet, turning his conversation to the lieutenant. Yuuri struggles to remember the lieutenant’s name, Chris. Chris Giacometti. He seems so young, at least compared to the old lieutenant who decided to retire after Captain Yakov’s death.

“Captain.” Mila approaches, crouching next to Viktor. “I have the children assembled, per Stars’ request.”

Viktor nods, “Escort Stars back to my tent once you’re done with the kids.”

“Yes, Captain.” Mila frowns at Yuuri but holds her tongue until they’re outside, “Viktor doesn’t look very happy with you.”

For once Yuuri is grateful that protocol dictates his escort walk in front. He can’t muster the energy to lift his eyes.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :o

By the time they arrive to the medic’s tent, Yuuri has managed to shove his panic aside. There are four children assembled in front of him. The oldest child is twelve with scabbed knees and light brown hair, the youngest is three, tightly gripped in her parent’s arms.

Yuuri starts with the youngest, Mila leads the parent and child to a private area.

“Do I have to leave them alone?” The mother frets, making the child become restless in response.

“Yes. It doesn’t take long,” assures Mila. “Stars. The room is yours.”

The child stares at him fearfully and Yuuri quickly removes both his hat and cowl, raising a silencing spell around them.

“Hi, there,” he coos, conjuring a small projection of a puppy. The child laughs in delight and tries to grab the puppy. Yuuri peels his gloves off, setting the child onto his lap, he makes the puppy tumble and dance for the child while he presses against the ocean of conscience that’s wriggling on his lap. Yuuri feels a bright whirl of color, undulating movement and restless angles.

A dancing mage. Yuuri strokes the child’s face wistfully and kisses their cheek.

The baby laughs, chubby hands fisting into his short hair, tugging hard. Yuuri winces and laughs. He puts the child back down on the bed and reaches into his pocket for the list Mila had given him that morning. He writes down the child’s specialty and his personal recommendation for the child. Yuuri hums quietly, deciding that such a child would benefit from a lay-person’s training in dance before being apprenticed to a mage with the same specialty. He also recommends against separating the child from her family.

Yuuri puts his cowl back on and goes out.

He motions for the mother to take the child back, but the woman is panicking, her mouth an ugly wailing slash, lunges for him instead.

“When will we know?! You can’t take her! I won’t let you!”

Mila grabs the woman, shoves her to the ground, and pulls out a curved knife. “That is treason! I could slice your neck for that!”

Yuuri conjures a glass wall that Mila bumps into. She backs away from the woman. “What the hell? Stars?” Yuuri doesn’t release the glass prison until Mila, scowling, sheathes the knife.

Yuuri motions to the child that’s now screaming for his mother, but Mila ignores him, grabbing the woman.

Frustrated, Yuuri goes and picks up the screaming child, trying to comfort them. He motions violently to the other children who are also freaking out, the smallest of them crying as well.

Mila’s hold tightens on the woman’s collar. “But she touched you!”

The mother sobs, clawing at Mila’s arms. “I’m so sorry! Please. Mercy, please!”

Yuuri walks forward and shoves the child into the mother’s arms. Mila sucks in a breath, staring at Yuuri like he’s grown a tail or sprouted horns.

“I. . .I have to report this.”

Yuuri shrugs. Viktor is already pissed at him, he’s already going to be punished. What’s another lash on his back?

Mila’s hands are shaking, but she allows the mother and child to go. “I. . .”

Yuuri ignores her and picks up the next smallest child in his arms.

~~~

~~~

“And then he handed the child back to the mother.” Mila finishes her report, her eyes boring into Viktor.

Viktor’s eyes flicker to Yuuri before settling back onto Mila. “Anything else?”

“D-did you not hear me?”

“I need to know all the details before I take a course of action.”

“In that case... No. That was the only anomaly. The rest of the children were tested successfully and without problems.”

Yuuri keeps his head down, clasping his hands to stop himself from shaking. His vision is blurring again, dreading the punishment that he’s about to receive. A whipping? Having his head dunked under water?

 _I thought I was done being afraid_ , Yuuri takes slow measured breaths, _maybe it’s because Viktor is so much bigger than Ruth or Yakov_. Viktor is young with muscled arms that were clearly accustomed to heavy work. If Viktor decides to whip him, Yuuri isn’t sure he’ll be able to stay on a horse for more than a minute without passing out from the pain.

Yuuri shudders, both Mila and Viktor notice.

“Thank you, sergeant. Dismissed.”

“Captain.” Mila salutes him and leaves them alone.

Viktor rises from the carved Captain’s chair and walks into their private living quarters.

Yuuri’s knees wobble as he follows Viktor. He raises the silencing spell, strengthening it so no one can hear his screams. A sob escapes him.

Viktor’s eyes widen. “Yuuri?”

Viktor pulls the hat and cowl from Yuuri’s head, stunned to find his little mage crying and trembling like a leaf.

“Yuuri! What’s wrong?” He scoops Yuuri up into his arms, walking over to the bed to curls up with the boy who’s now full on sobbing.

“I’m sorry, please. Please.” Yuuri begs, clutching at Viktor’s stiff uniform collar, and hating himself for the weakness. “Please don’t use the whip. I won’t argue again. I’m sorry, Captain. I’m sorry.” He slides out of Viktor’s grip to throw himself to the floor. His body wracked with fear.

“. . .Whip?” Viktor gapes at Yuuri. Understanding slowly makes it’s way through Viktor. “Did Ruth use a whip on you?”

Yuuri pushes his face further into the carpeted floor, unable to stop his loud sobbing. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry! Please. I’ll be good. I’m good. I promise.” Ruth hated his begging, she would gag him routinely. But Yakov was softer, he would often relent if Yuuri screamed too loudly.

He expects Viktor to slap him for being so pathetic. He doesn’t expect Viktor to slide down to the floor next to him, lifting him up. “Yuuri, _look_ at me, darling. Oh gods, what have they done to you?”

Yuuri does as he’s told, knowing it’s worse if he shies away. “I’m sorry, Captain. I’m sorry...” He flinches when Viktor reaches forward.

“Yuuri...” Viktor is horrified, his hands are beginning to sweat. “How could they treat you like that?”

Yuuri knows. “I don’t listen. I’m always asking questions.” He draws himself up. “But I promise not to do it again. So please... Just... Please do it quickly.” He’s not supposed to ask for mercy, he’s not supposed to ask for anything.

Viktor’s grip tightens and Yuuri moans in fear, his face going pale. “Yuuri. No. I’m _never_ going to hit you. Look at me, little mage. I’m _not_ going to whip you or—or punish you. Gods! I can’t even... Did Yakov... Did Yakov know about this?”

Yuuri doesn’t understand.

He’s shaking so hard that there are three Viktor’s in front of him. “Please. Just do it quickly.” Why is Viktor toying with him?

“ _No._ I’m not punishing you!”

Yuuri jerks away at Viktor’s raised voice.

Viktor searches his face. “You... During lunch. You thought I was going to bring you back here to punish you.”

“Yes.” Yuuri gasps around the word, throat clogged with snot.

Viktor shakes his head, _Yakov, did you know about this?_ “Come on. On the bed. Shhh. It’s okay. Everything is okay.”

“I’m sorry...” Yuuri blinks back his tears, he’s apologizing for being so pathetic, for being so _weak_.

“Shhh, I forgive you. Everything is alright. I forgive you.”

Viktor removes Yuuri’s boots, kicking off his own. He tucks Yuuri into the bed, curling around the mage.

Yuuri still looks at him with fear, flinching when Viktor moves too quickly, breaths ragged.

He goes still when Viktor reaches for something beside the bed, relaxing when he sees it’s only a pot of cream.

“C-captain?”

“Don’t you remember my name, little mage?”

Yuuri still looks too frightened to answer properly. “I’m sorry for being so rude. I... I argued with you. I deserve to be punished. I don’t know what I was thinking... I’m sorry.”

Viktor feels an impotent ball of rage at his old mentor and the Elder Stars. Spitefully, he’s glad they’re both dead. But Yuuri is still staring at him half-convinced he’s about to be whipped. It’s Yuuri who needs his attention right now.

“I accept your apology, dear one. And this is your punishment. Now stay still.”

Yuuri blinks at him in confusion when Viktor proceeds to smooth the cream over his chapped face. It feels nice but is that it?

“Are you sure?”

“This is your other punishment then, since that wasn’t enough for you.” Viktor leans down, ghosting his lips over Yuuri’s. It’s the brush of a feather, but so much warmer. “Shall I continue punishing you?” Viktor whispers, his face close to Yuuri’s. “Or shall I stop.”

Yuuri’s breath trembles between them. “I’m sorry.”

Viktor’s heart breaks for the mage. “I’m sorry too. I wish I had known how you were treated. I would have put a stop to it.”

“That would have been treason.” Yuuri sucks in a breath. “I’m sorry! I won’t argue anymore! I—I—” Overwhelmed, Yuuri starts crying again.

“It’s okay. I’ve got you. Everything is okay between us.” Viktor holds him, knowing that Yuuri’s probably worn himself out. Sure enough, Yuuri soon drops off to a fitful sleep.

Viktor smooths more cream over Yuuri’s face and tucks him into bed. Before leaving, Viktor writes a note, explaining where he is and what to do if he wakes up before Viktor gets back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :O


	7. Chapter 7

Only a few people are privy to the drama that occurred with the child and mother. He’s grateful there are no more witnesses, but it’s probably due solely to Mila’s intimidating presence. Viktor finds the father standing outside the holding cells, wringing his hands.

“Captain!” The father falls to the ground, hands clasped in supplication. “Captain. Mercy! My wife is not well.”

Viktor ignores the man, striding into the jail with purpose. Mila is there and she follows him to the first holding block.

“Miss Gorse?” Viktor stops in front of the cell, arms clasped behind his back, feet shoulder-width apart. “You have been charged with assaulting the royal mage, Stars.”

“No! I never would hurt them! I was only worried for my child.” She covers her face. “Do you know if they are being taken from me?” She holds back a sob. “Please. I have to know. My baby. . .”

“I would worry more about your own health,” said Viktor coolly, “The possible punishment is death.”

“No!” wails Miss Gorse, throwing herself at the bars, “Don’t take me from my child. I never touched that damned mage! I only wanted to be with my Sasi! My Sasi!” Miss Gorse shrieks.

Viktor turns on his heel, mentally reviewing Mila’s version of events, since Yuuri did nothing to refute her, the sergeant must be telling the truth.

He ignores Miss Gorse’s screaming, it grates on him.

The bailiff salutes him when he enters the small office area. “Miss Gorse is to remain isolated until tomorrow evening. Give her dinner. Then escort her to my tent.”

“Yessir.”

Yuuri hasn’t appeared by dinner time and Viktor tries hard not to be worried, if the mage wanted to be there he would have. Viktor smiles and does his best to be engaging during dinner. He must be successful because Chris gets tidily drunk, singing lewd songs about Viktor’s prowess and tiring out the mage.

Viktor allows this only because the rest of camp seems to enjoy teasing their new captain, so he grins and laughs along with the lieutenant.

He even gets to meet with three of the children Yuuri tested, congratulating them and reassuring them that the results would be ready by tomorrow.

He stays for the whole dinner, until the kitchen workers shoo him and Chris away.

.....

....

Victor pauses for a second before entering his and Yuuri’s private quarters, nervous about what he’ll find.

Yuuri is sitting at the table, going over a stack of papers. He looks terrible, his eyes swollen and nose bright red.

“Dear one, are you hungry?” Viktor sets a plate of bananas and pears in front of Yuuri. “Dearest...” He sits next to the mage, hands twitching to _do_ something.

“Thank you. For not hurting me.” Yuuri tucks his jagged bangs back, but they fall back into his eyes. His voice cracks, he must have kept crying after Viktor left.

“I will never hurt you,” promises Viktor, “You must be starving. Did you see my note?”

“Yes...” Yuuri admits guiltily, “I’m sorry. I... I couldn’t make myself go out.”

“I understand. Can I hug you?”

Yuuri’s face slowly brightens with a pink glow that warms Viktor. “Please?”

“Always.”

He tugs Yuuri towards him, enfolding the mage within his arms. “How about you get ready for bed? What are you even working on?”

“The plans for our next camp. We’re leaving in a few days, right?”

“Yes, I’m afraid so. I know it’s soon, but Lilia _insists_ on seeing up before the month is out.”

Yuuri snuggles into Viktor’s warm embrace, wondering what he could have possibly done in his past life to deserve such a kind husband and captain.

The dark part of his brain snaps to life, _It could be a lie, Viktor could be waiting for something big to punish you for. You’re a stupid, nosy brat. How could someone like_ Viktor _even think of tolerating you?_

But when Viktor leads him back to the large bed and tucks him in with a kiss to his forehead, Yuuri finds it difficult to believe that nasty voice. “Are you sure you don’t want to join me?”

“I’m sure. This is your bed first. I’m in charge of making sure you’re happy and safe, and I will never put myself in front of that.”

“But I want you to be happy too.” Yuuri shifts so he can look in Viktor’s eyes. “I want...”

“What do you want, my love?”

Yuuri shivers at the tender texture of Viktor’s voice, covering him like a warm blanket. “Will you always tell me the truth?”

It’s a strange request, and one that doesn’t give room for soft lies. Viktor strokes Yuuri’s dark eyebrows, smoothing the short hairs. “Is that what you need? Truth? Of course. But I need your trust in order for that to work.”

“Trust...” Yuuri nods, “You’ve had my trust since we were first promised.”

Viktor pauses in his slow caresses of Yuuri’s face, he remembers that day acutely. He and Yuuri were sat in front of one another, Yuuri had already been shrouded for his protection. They had shared only a few moments together, but that was the start of their bond. “I’m honored. I will work hard to continue deserving your trust.”

Yuuri hums and lifts his head, fingers sliding through Viktor’s hair, tugging him close.

This kiss is different, tender and full of new understanding, Viktor feels a liquid warmth suffusing him down to his toes, he wants to reciprocate. But he doesn’t want to scare Yuuri who is still fragile. How long did he survive under the physical abuse? Was it only physical or did that hag also prey on Yuuri’s mind?

Viktor exhales and pulls back. He places an open palm against the center of Yuuri’s chest. “Tomorrow will be a busy day for us. Is it okay if I wake you up early?”

It’s a thoughtful but unnecessary gesture, Yuuri feels his heart strengthen at Viktor’s careful handling of him. The whole day had been a tumultuous ride of emotions and Yuuri already feels himself being pulled to sleep. He nods, smiling, and is rewarded with another kiss before sleep overtakes him completely.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and I'm so happy you like my story!! <3

“Yuuri.”

A sweet voice calls him.

“Wake up, darling. Ah, there you are.” Viktor smiles when Yuuri’s eyes flutter open. “I’m sorry but it’s time to get ready. Mila is outside, waiting for you. Okay?”

Yuuri nods, expecting a good morning kiss, disappointed when Viktor briefly nuzzles into his cheek before retreating.

Yuuri stretches and shakes himself awake, dressing quickly so he doesn’t keep Mila waiting. He’s supposed to start working with the lesser mages today and that thought alone suppresses both his appetite and then his curiosity when Mila scowls at him.

Mila doesn’t offer him breakfast which puzzles Yuuri. He’s hungry. He didn’t really eat dinner besides a few pieces of fruit. But the appearance of the mages distracts Yuuri, knowing it would only be a few hours until lunch.

They all troop out to a clearing where the mages and Yuuri can spar without risking someone’s life or limb. Mila watches from the shadow of a tree.

When they break for lunch, Yuuri wants to _scream_. Ruth hadn’t been lying when she called them all lazy jackasses. Yuuri wonders how he can gently break the news to Viktor that every single of the lesser mages is a drag on their resources and not worth the dirt they sleep on.

Mila had been frosty and silent the whole morning, and she shoves Yuuri’s lunch at him. A tiny croissant the size of his palm and a cup of unsweetened tea. Yuuri trembles, realizing what’s going on.

 _This_ is Viktor’s punishment. He’s being starved. The sweet words from this morning are ash in his mouth, he feels a sob work its way out of his throat. Despite how it worsens his fatigue, Yuuri silences his vocal cords. He is accustomed to the strangle-hold of the silence spell. He’s used it countless times when Ruth was punishing him.

He settles down to eat but swallowing is difficult, knowing Viktor is angry at him. Knowing he has to be hungry in silence.

Mila’s lunch is considerably more generous, a whole baked sandwich, juice, and a slice of sweet bread for dessert. Yuuri’s stomach grumbles from the smell alone.

“How is your day going?”

Yuuri’s head jerks up. Viktor is sweaty and covered in dirt, whistling and cheerful.

“Good,” said Mila, standing to salute, only sitting back down once Viktor settles in next to Yuuri.

“How was lunch, Stars?”

Yuuri nods.

“He didn’t complain,” said Mila curtly, glaring at Yuuri.

Viktor seems puzzled by the comment. “Oh. That’s good? Mila, would you so kindly go and make sure the mages have enough to eat? I’d hate to have a mutiny on my hands just because they disliked the plate!” Viktor chuckles.

Once she’s gone, Viktor’s posture relaxes.

“What happened?”

Yuuri’s breath stutters, he’s forgotten about the silencing spell and that Viktor can sense his emotions through the soulbond. Before he can lower the silencing spell, Mila returns and sits down. And then his stomach growls like a beast on the war path.

“Aww, is my little mage still hungry?” Viktor coos.

Yuuri feels a few tears slide down his face, Viktor is _taunting_ him.

“Well,” said Mila, lounging back and nibbling on the last of her dessert. “Serves them right. Also the mages say the food is delicious.”

Viktor frowns at Mila. “What do you mean— Serves them right? Serves _who_ right? Stars?”

Mila hesitates, shooting Viktor a confused look. “After yesterday I assumed basic protocols. Restricting nutrition.”

“What.” Viktor’s face contorts into anger and Yuuri ducks his head.

“Restricting nutrition,” repeats Mila slowly, “Like in the handbook. Stars’ defied his protocol yesterday when he touched that woman and you were obviously angry so I—"

Viktor might literally be breathing fire. “Mila, get out of my sight unless you want to be demoted to shoveling shit out of the pits.” Mila’s mouth falls open, but she scrambles away.

“When was the last time you ate?” Viktor squeezes his hand.

Yuuri lowers the silencing spell. “A few minutes ago. Uhm, a piece of bread and tea.”

Viktor wishes he could sweep past the heavy material that blocks Yuuri’s face.

“What did you have for breakfast?”

“N-nothing.” Yuuri’s voice is a whisper.

“Darling. _Darling_. _No._ You must be ready to collapse. Let’s get some real food into you.” Viktor swears again when Yuuri struggles to get up. “Never mind.”

He sweeps Yuuri up and carries him to the mess tent which is thankfully empty.

“I’ll be right back,” Viktor takes only a few moments to grab a plate of leftovers from the cook.

Yuuri eats with a ravenous hunger that hits like a wave. He gulps whatever Viktor puts in front of him, it could have been water it could have been mud. It wouldn’t have made a difference in that moment.

Slowly, the hollow space under Yuuri’s ribs filled out. Yuuri ends up overeating, his stomach tight and uncomfortable. But at least Viktor isn’t angry at him, Yuuri sighs.

“Do you feel better?”

Yuuri nods and whispers to Viktor. “I thought you were punishing me.”

At that moment Mila enters the mess hall making a beeline for them, her jaw set into hard lines.

She hurries over, saluting Viktor then bowing to Yuuri. “Captain. I apologize for my actions and not checking in with you about how to proceed in regards to your mage.” Mila emphasizes _your_.

“You should really be apologizing to the one you harmed,” says Viktor pleasantly, his smile is a razor wire.

Mila looks sick and she bows low to Yuuri. “Stars, I beg your forgiveness.”

“Stars?” Viktor is looking at him expectantly.

Yuuri nods at Mila.

“Stars might be merciful,” replies Viktor icily, “But I’m not. Consider _your_ ‘nutrition restricted’ for the rest of the day.”

Yuuri doesn’t want to sour his one possible relationship outside of Viktor. He squeezes Viktor’s knee under the table.

Viktor picks his gloved hand up to kiss the back of it. “Hmm, how about that. Stars doesn’t want me to punish you. But I think it would be a wonderful lesson. For you and for everyone else. Stars is a _person_. Not only that, they are precious to me. So I suggest treating them as such.”

Mila looks properly ashamed of herself and nods. “I beg leave.”

Viktor dismisses her with a wave of his fingers. Yuuri is mortified, _I can’t believe Viktor just did that! Mila is going to hate me forever now! She’s going to make my life miserable..._

Apparently Viktor doesn’t share his concerns because he sneaks his hand under the material of Yuuri’s long scarf and grips his arm. “Don’t worry about her. If she gives you any trouble feel free to stop her heart or something.”

Yuuri clicks his teeth together, unsure if Viktor is kidding or what.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I barely realized that I have a ton of chapters ready to be edited so I can publish more frequently without worrying too much about running out. At least for a while.  
> Please enjoy!! :D

“Are you full?”

Yuuri nods in affirmation.

“I’m glad,” Viktor’s soft look hardens. “I’m going to pass judgement on the woman who grabbed you. Is there anything you want to add to what Mila said yesterday?”

Yuuri nods and leans in, gasping when Viktor pulls him in close, arms twining around his waist. “W-well, I ask that you be merciful with her. She was panicking. She doesn’t know if she is about to be separated from her child or not.”

Yuuri’s voice is so careful and distant. So very different from before yesterday. Viktor rubs Yuuri’s palm, feeling the ridged texture of the embroidered snowflakes. “I understand, but it’s not an excuse to touch you.”

Yuuri nods somberly. “All I can offer up is my own experience. Sometimes I—” A pained look crosses his face. “—panic. It’s not rational and it can’t be stopped. The whole world narrows down to just escaping my problem, there’s no logic or rationalizing with me when I’m like that.”

“Is that what happened yesterday when you thought I was going to punish you?”

Yuuri hesitates. “N-no? It’s similar, but much, much worse. When I panic you can’t even talk to me. Nothing makes sense. Not even a tornado could pull me—” Yuuri closes his mouth, squeezing Viktor’s hand in warning.

“Ah, Chris. Are Miss and Mister Gorse ready?”

“Yes.”

Viktor sighed. He _really_ didn’t want to do this. “I hope it went well with the lesser mages today,” he said to Stars as they left the mess tent. “Otherwise this day has been a total toilet.”

“Well...” said Chris carefully, throwing Yuuri a wink— _Scandalous!—_ “I wouldn’t say a total loss.” The lieutenant looks very pleased with himself.

Viktor smiles, looking very pleased as well, “Quite right. I had totally forgot about that.”

“ _How?_ ”

“Mila,” said Viktor grimly, “Acted quite inappropriately today. I need to speak with all of the people who are going to be in close contact with Stars, preferably today.”

“Sounds serious. I can arrange for something after dinner.”

“That sounds good. Stars still needs to debrief me on several things before dinner. Thank you Chris.”

The public area of their tent is set up differently. Yuuri stands behind and to the left of Viktor while Mila, as prime witness and accuser, stands to Viktor’s right.

Chris and several other lieutenants, sergeants, and even the bailiff are present. The bailiff complains that Miss Gorse screamed the entire night for her child. Mister Gorse testifies that his wife has always been nervous and shows them calming drops.

 Viktor has Yuuri test the liquid and Yuuri is happy to confirm (silently) that they are for treating serious nerve disorders.

Finally he listens to Mila’s testimony again before handing out his judgement.

“From what I gather, it is only protocol that was broken,” says Viktor somberly, “You were neither a threat nor a scare for the royal mage. And you suffer from nerves. Therefore I cannot in good conscience condemn you for a series of events out of your control.”

Mister Gorse sighs loudly in relief.

“That being said, you _did_ touch a royal mage. Which demands punishment of some sort.” Viktor pauses, his brows drawn close, “You will serve the kitchens, without pay, for a month, in addition to attending to your usual duties. If the terms are not met then you will be booted from camp. Should you cause any other violence or attempt to approach the royal mage for _any_ reason then I _will_ have you executed as law demands. Dismissed.”

The crowd breaks quickly. Yuuri leaves for their private quarters, he sighs and raises the silencing spell. He feels exhausted and it’s barely past lunchtime.

He flops facedown on the bed, not even bothering to kick his boots off.

Hands creeping up his back rouse Yuuri from his impromptu nap. “Viktor?”

Viktor chuckles. “Well I sure hope so. Are you doing okay? You’ve had an exciting few days.”

With a grunt, Yuuri slides off the bed, heading for the table where he has his notes on the mage children and on the lesser mages.

Viktor peruses the results of the children. “Ooh! A dancing mage!” Viktor smiles broadly, “A good omen!” Two of the children are common mages but Yuuri designates the eldest child as a lesser mage. “Yuuri... Why does your recommendation for the children say not to send them to an approved town to be trained?”

Yuuri fidgeted in his seat. “I thought we could do things differently? Instead of losing loyal families who are all assets to our camp, we could keep the children here and have them learn with the lesser mages.”

Viktor frowned, “But...”

“It’s not like they’re potential royal mages,” said Yuuri quietly, “And if we send the child away we _will_ lose the family, for all that it’s frowned upon. There’s no _point_ in separating a family if we don’t have to—” Yuuri snapped his mouth shut, realizing how loud he’d been. “I’m sorry! Whatever you decide is fine, I just—”

“This is something important to you,” said Viktor slowly, scrutinizing Yuuri’s face. He’d quickly learned that Yuuri was a person of subtle gestures, forced and beaten to be quiet. “How old were you?”

“Uum?”

“When you left your parents.” Viktor took a seat next to the mage.

“I didn’t leave,” said Yuuri, looking away, “I was...” Yuuri’s lips worked like he was trying to swallow a bitter taste away, “chosen.”

“So quite young, then.”

“I don’t remember how old I was.”

“How old _are_ you?”

Yuuri looked up at him cautiously, “I don’t know.”

Viktor’s hand on the table curled into a fist, but he had to force himself to relax when Yuuri recoiled, his gaze darting to Viktor’s clenched hand.

“I’m sorry.”

“No, please don’t apologize. None of this is your fault and I’m not angry with you. I’m frustrated that Ruth and Yakov treated you so horribly.” Viktor took in a shuddering breath, “It’s difficult to believe that Yakov knew you were treated like this. I’m _sure_ he would have put a stop to it. If he knew.”

When Yuuri dropped his gaze to the floor, Viktor’s stomach grew cold. “Yuuri.... Did Yakov _know_? Oh gods. He _knew_. He knew and he did nothing about a child being abused!” Viktor shoved his chair back, blind to Yuuri curling into a tiny ball. “Gods! I can’t believe I actually looked up to him. He... was he a monster?” Viktor swung back to Yuuri, breathing hard. “Did he touch you? Did Yakov—”

Whimpering, Yuuri threw himself onto the ground, wrapping his arms around his head.

Viktor back-pedaled. He’d been about to shake Yuuri, he wanted to grab the boy and shake the answers out of him. Instead, he turned on his heel and rushed out of the tent.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The plot thickens!!

“It’s a beautiful sunset,” said Chris by way of greeting. He dismounted from his yellow palomino, ambling over to where Viktor sat in the shade of a twisted pine tree.

“Did you know that Yuu—Stars was abused by both Yakov and the Elder-Stars?”

Chris fingered some pine needles, crushing them in his fist and inhaling the scent. “No.” He crouched by Viktor.

“They beat Stars for talking.” Viktor felt his throat close up, the emotion threatening to spill over. “They used a whip on a child for not following orders and for being inquisitive. They...” Viktor’s breath stuttered, “did so much damage and I don’t know how to fix it. If I can.”

“I’m so sorry Viktor. I know you say Yakov was your father. If he was abusive towards Stars...”

“They’re younger than me, or you,” said Viktor, is voice raw. “So much younger.”

Chris settled down next to Viktor. “So... a child?”

“Basically.”

“They beat a child for asking questions. You might as well beat a horse for wanting to eat grass.”

“I don’t know how I can face Lilia. She loved Yakov. Loves. And he turned out to be a monster. A pathetic piece of shit who—”

“Woah, easy there my friend.” Chris squeezed his shoulder. “Look. I don’t know what to say about Yakov, and I don’t think I should say anything. He’s gone... But Stars is still _here_. Maybe you should—”

Viktor gave an ugly laugh, “The reason I’m out here is because I almost laid a hand on Stars too. Maybe Yakov taught me more than strategics. What if I’m a monster like he was?” Viktor wished it wasn’t true but... “Maybe I quietly learned how to be an abuser too.”

Chris sighed heavily, “Listen, if I can trust in your confidence I’ll tell you something,” Without waiting for Viktor to respond, Chris talked. “My dad hit my mother. A lot. So I know how the cycle works. It’s... It’s why I’ve never seriously considered settling down. Because I know that I’m either going to be the abuser or be abused. It’s terrifying to know that I won’t ever escape that. But I did! By not marrying at all. Stars and you... Never had a choice. So... _Did_ you hit Stars?” Chris voice was almost a whisper.

“NO! I left. I ran out of the tent before I could.”

“Then you’re nothing like Yakov or the Elder Stars.”

They sat in silence for several minutes until Chris patted his knee and said it was time to head back.

Viktor dreaded what he would find in his private quarters. Would Yuuri do something drastic like run away or—Oh.

Yuuri was sitting at the table, his face dunked into a bowl full of water.

For a beat Viktor felt himself tipping towards the floor, but then Yuuri took a deep breath, face still deep in the water. Viktor edged closer, stomach coiling in frigid knots. That’s when he saw the water glowing softly.

A scrying bowl.

Viktor exhaled in relief. Sure enough, upon closer inspection there were magic inscriptions carved into the clay sides that seemed to shift and dance when Viktor tried reading them.

Viktor knew that Yuuri could breathe but it still creeped him out to see the young mage motionless for almost twenty minutes.

To keep busy Viktor set about tidying their tent. Since they would be moving everything in a few days it would be smart to start packing up. He also rehearsed ten different apologies for Yuuri, each one more elaborate than the last.

Eventually he heard a loud splash and gasp. He hurried over with a towel, wrapping it around Yuuri’s shoulders before he could get too wet.

“Viktor...” Yuuri slumped against him, sighing. He continues talking in a foreign language, the syllables clipped and soft, a northern tongue if Viktor had to guess.

“I’m here darling. You were gone a long time.” He patted Yuuri’s face dry and rubbed his hair. Yuuri submitted to all this quietly, a smile tugging on his lips when Viktor playfully tugs on his ear lobes. “Sweetheart.”

Yuuri’s softened face goes rigid, his mouth pulling into a grimace. “I’m sorry.”

“No, _I’m_ sorry I left you like that. I had to take a moment to breathe. Yakov... He was wrong to hurt you and so was Ruth. I’m angry because they treated you badly and I... I don’t know if I would have stopped them.” Viktor continued drying Yuuri’s hair, “And that scares me. That I would have let it happen. That I _did_.” He slid to one side, kneeling by Yuuri. “I can’t change what they did to you, but I will work ever single day of my life to make sure you know how important and special and amazing you are.”

Yuuri blinked back tears and nodded, leaning forward so Viktor could envelop him in a hug. “Please don’t apologize. You’re the only person who’s treated me like this. Like I’m worth something.”

Viktor tightens his hold, rubbing Yuuri’s back slowly. “I have to ask you to talk about something else. You won’t want to, but... It’s important. I need to know what Yakov did. I won’t ask about Ruth because I know the memories are painful, but we’ve been summoned to meet with Lilia who had, _has_ a complicated relationship with Yakov. And I can’t lie to her.” Viktor shifted to the chair next to Yuuri, scooting it close so he could hug the mage tightly.

Yuuri clutches Viktor’s arms, even as he hides his face in Viktor’s chest. “Do I have to?”

“No.” Viktor leans back, “No, you don’t have to but I want to confront Lilia about your treatment—”

“Please don’t,” Yuuri pushes his chair back, falling to his knees in front of Viktor, “ _Please_ I’m begging you. I’d prefer you whipped me than to ask Lilia about this. I’ll do _anything_.”

Shocked, Viktor can only stare. “But... They hurt you!”

“They _punished_ me,” said Yuuri, laying his forehead on Viktor’s knees. “I was bad and they needed to correct me. Commander Baravnoskaya might care, but I doubt it.” Hesitantly, Yuuri looked up at Viktor who looked so torn about everything. That, more than anything, eased Yuuri’s heart. “If she knows just how bad I was... Maybe they’ll reconsider our union.”

It was the right thing to say, Yuuri feels how Viktor’s hands press down firmly on his shoulders. “Very well. I won’t talk to Lilia about this.”

Yuuri relaxes completely against Viktor’s knees, resting his forehead against Viktor’s thigh.

He’s safe here.

Usually it was Ruth’s knees he rested against and sometimes Yakov’s, after he was punished. She would pet Yuuri’s long hair and tell him he was good again.

“I still miss her,” mumbles Yuuri, hugging Viktor’s leg. “I shouldn’t. She... she was cruel.” The words frighten Yuuri and he holds on to Viktor more tightly. If Ruth, the only person he could consider a parent, was cruel and inhumane with him, what does that mean for Yuuri? He still misses her. “But she also would get me cake from the cafeteria and tell me stories of where I came from.”

Viktor begins combing his fingers into Yuuri’s hair. “I guess feeling are hard to control. I miss Yakov too, despite knowing who he really was.”

Yuuri takes a deep breath, “I lied about Yakov. We were never even alone in the same room together. I’m sorry.”

“What?!” For a moment, Yuuri thinks that Viktor will believe him, but he looks deep into Yuuri’s eyes. “Are you trying to protect me?”

“I lied about Yakov. I just wanted... I hated that you missed him so much and—”

“Yuuri. Enough.”

But Yuuri can’t stop himself, his mouth feels disconnected from his body. “I also lied about Ruth hitting me. I just wanted your attention. I’m stupid and selfish and didn’t want you to—”

“ _Enough_.” Viktor slides to his knees, pushing Yuuri’s face into his chest. “I don’t want to hear any more lies. You asked me to be truthful with you and I want the same thing. And do you want to hear the truth? The whole truth?”

Yuuri tries to keep his breathing even, even as he whimpers. His nose is squashed into the sharp edge of a button.

“Yakov slept with other people. He was unfaithful to Ruth and the bond they held. He didn’t just love Lilia, he pursued her and bedded her. I think... I think they had a child.”

Yuuri gasps, shoving Viktor back. “But... That’s treason. _High_ treason.” He rubs his nose, eyes watering.

“I know.” Viktor tries to scrape his hair back, “These last few years have been so difficult. Every time we stopped in a different city I had to cover Yakov’s tracks when he would decide he needed to chase tail.” Understanding dawns in Viktor’s face, he looks sickened. “Do you think that’s why Ruth abused you so frequently? Because there was nothing she could do about Yakov?”

Yuuri’s mouth drops open. “I don’t know. Maybe?” Yuuri shudders, feeling the memory of those lashings on his back.

“Gods. This is such a fucking mess. I swear. If I get any _more_ bad news—well I don’t know.”

Nervously, Yuuri rubs his arms, “I have some bad news. But if you’d rather wait.”

“Is it important?”

Yuuri nods.

“Okay. Just remember, Yuuri. I’m not mad at you, okay?”

“Will you remember that I don’t blame you, as well? Yakov and Ruth, their relationship was always a mess I think.” Yuuri’s laugh is shaky. “They had a horrible time trying to make love. It never really worked out.”

There are about three hundred new questions Viktor has, but none of them are important. Viktor shakes his head. “Both of them were bastards. I hope they’re rotting—”

“That’s what I was scrying for so long.” Yuuri’s interruption is gentle, his voice subdued. “I know it’s risky but I _had_ to know.”

Stunned, Viktor tips Yuuri’s chin up. “You scried into the beyond?” He searches his little mage’s face.

“I had a bit of hair from both of them,” said Yuuri guiltily.

“Well?! What did you see?”

Yuuri takes in Viktor’s intense curiosity, relieved that he isn’t angry about Yuuri’s foolish actions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :3c


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> naughty yakov!

Viktor was almost afraid to ask, “What did you see?”

“Ruth has moved on, and she didn’t want to be found, I guess. But Yakov is lost.”

Viktor just stares at Yuuri, “What do you mean?”

“I didn’t have to go far, Yakov is wandering around _here_. He refuses to move on. I was trying to push him in the right direction but he won’t listen. I think... I think he’s stuck here. If he is, then he can’t see me anyway. I was confused about why he would refuse to move on, but if he _does_ have a child and is worried about them. Then _that’s_ why he refuses to move on.”

It’s an explosive revelation, Viktor stares at Yuuri’s hands without seeing them. Yakov is in limbo.

It’s a pitiable existence.

Viktor’s heart aches for his old mentor. “Thank you for sharing that.” He cups Yuuri’s face. “You’re very brave. However, I would rather you didn’t scry into the beyond again. At least until I can get you a teacher or something.”

“W-well Ruth did a few lessons.” He groans, remembering the lesser mages they need to replace. “Yakov in limbo isn’t the bad news.”

Viktor’s mouth dries out. “Oh? Then lay it on me.” He tries to lighten the mood but Yuuri looks sincerely worried.

“We have to replace all of the lesser mages.”

Viktor tries to smile but groans, throwing himself back onto the floor. “Can I ask your reasoning? I’m not doubting you, but I’d like to know what happened.”

Yuuri shuffles over to sit by Viktor’s torso. From here he can at least stroke Viktor’s beautiful face. He looks so tired, but Yuuri doesn’t say anything, not wanting to make Viktor angry.

Yuuri sighs. “I’m not sure? Ruth never allowed me to work with the lesser mages. I thought she’d at least have them all practiced with the four basic formations of combat. Right?”

“Seems like common sense.”

“They can barely do the basic defensive formations without creating a magical backfire. We almost set fire to the grassland around camp. Doing _defensive_ formations.”

Viktor can hear how frustrated Yuuri is, he pats the ground next to him. Yuuri hesitates for a few seconds and Viktor pats the ground again, opening his arms so Yuuri can snuggle into his shoulder.

“What excuse did the mages give?”

“None,” said Yuuri quietly, fingers smoothing down a wrinkle in Viktor’s jacket, “Deni yelled... about several things, mostly about Ruth letting them do what came naturally. Which would work if it weren’t for the others doing _their_ own thing.”

“Wow. Okay so Ruth _and_ Yakov were both useless.”

“Viktor...”

“It’s true!” Viktor threw his hands out and in frustration. “It’s okay though, we can get through this.”

Yuuri gave him a disbelieving look, “We can?”

“Yes! Don’t you believe it too?” Viktor propped himself up over Yuuri, kissing his eyes, nose, his chin. Viktor felt Yuuri _melt_ at the simple act of love, instead of making Viktor feel good he felt absolutely awful. How long did Yuuri go without someone giving him the affection and attention the boy so clearly needed?

Viktor continued to press light kisses to Yuuri’s jaw, temple, brow, before pressing their lips together in a lingering kiss.

“I believe you.” Yuuri’s mouth moved gently against Viktor’s, “Just don’t stop kissing me. Please.”

“You’re going to be sick of my kisses before I’m done with you,” declared Viktor.

“Never,” promised Yuuri. “Never ever.”

......

.....

They had dinner alone in the front room with a guard to give them privacy. Yuuri was happy to eat without the heavy curtains hanging round his head and to be fed small pieces of fish and vegetable by Viktor.

“This fish is really good,” said Yuuri, licking up a stray piece that stuck to his lip.

“Agreed,” said Viktor, leaning in for a kiss.

Yuuri had tender lips, and he was so gentle that Viktor’s heart ached and hurt in turns. How could someone raise their hand to such a gentle soul?

“A-ah, well—”

Viktor chuckles at Yuuri’s complete loss of composure. The poor boy looks like he wants to tackle Viktor to the ground but doesn’t dare.

Fortunately for both of them, they’re interrupted by the guard announcing the arrival of Mila, Chris, and a few others.

“You don’t have to stay,” said Viktor, “I’m just going to yell at them to treat you like a person.”

Yuuri bites his lip. “I’m going to go hide then.”

“As you wish,” replies Viktor, kissing his forehead. “Make sure to pack up all of your things tonight, yes? We’re leaving tomorrow after lunch.”

“Alright.”


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When you mess up, no matter how badly please remember to apologize to your friends! :)

Yuuri’s finishing packing up the third caravan when Mila appears, carrying a wicker basket and a jug of what looks like fresh milk.

“Brunch,” she says sternly, “You’ve been up since before dawn and Viktor will have my head if you faint.”

For one searing moment Yuuri considers obeying Mila’s command, but in the next he remembers how she’d starved him for no reason other than to satisfy her own brand of justice.

Yuuri remembers he’s no longer vulnerable and that he has _plans_ for his and Viktor’s battalion. He’s no longer at the mercy of anyone’s whims but Viktor’s.

So he turns his back on Mila and continues levitating heavy trunks onto the caravan. It’s the third of five that will be hauling all of their possessions and he needs to be done before lunch.

“Stars. I brought you food. Aren’t you hungry?”

Yuuri bites his tongue. He _is_ hungry, but that can wait until he finishes working. He _did_ have a generous breakfast, Yuuri smiles at the recent memory of Viktor kissing cream off his cheek.

Once the caravan is loaded he motions for the women to test the balance and shift of it.

“It’s wrapped up tight,” calls one of the women that Yuuri has grown to like. Her name’s Deliah and she has five kids. The youngest of which is bundled up on her back. “Hook up the horses and let’s see how she runs!”

Much like Viktor, Deliah loved to chat and Yuuri encouraged her. He watches the rest of the women hook up four huge horses to the harnesses.

Deliah comes to stand by Yuuri. “Who’s the red-head?”

Yuuri traces his finger in the air, burning a dark blue trail. <<Mila. New-appointed sergeant.>>

Deliah grunts, “She seems to be hosting a party over there by herself. Why didn’t you join her?”

Yuuri huffs, <<She was mean to me. I’m mad at her.>>

“Well then, I won’t say poo to her without your leave.” Deliah chuckles, whooping when the horses manage to start moving the heavy caravan. “Good job out there!”

Yuuri snorts. <<Your loyalty is touching.>>

Deliah laughs at his sarcasm and claps her hands together. “Stop me if I overstep, yes?”

Puzzled, Yuuri nods.

“Alright gals! Sergeant Mila has brought us vittles! Waste not!”

Dismayed at his revenge being foiled, Yuuri follows Deliah and other women to eat brunch.

The women excitedly crowd around Mila.

“Hey! No! This isn’t for you!” Mila snarls, batting their hands away. She freezes when Yuuri approaches and motions for the women to sit.

<<Let them eat their fill.>>

Mila gapes at him. “You can write?!”

Coolly, Yuuri ignores her and takes a sandwich from the basket, everyone waiting for him to serve himself first.

“So Sergeant, I haven’t seen your face before.”

Mila stares at Deliah with naked contempt. “Viktor hired me fresh out of the academy from _Winel_.”

“Ah,” Deliah chews her food loudly and elbows the girl next to her. “Is that a fancy finishing school for assholes or something?”

Yuuri chokes on his sandwich and the conversation grinds to a halt as he desperately tries to recover. Finally he manages to clear his throat. <<I’m fine.>>

Deliah pats her heart, “Goodness. I thought we were gonna have to heimlich you to the moon.”

“Don’t even joke about that,” snarled Mila.

“Wow,” Deliah leans on a bent knee, sneering at Mila. “Stars, you weren’t kidding. This one’s a piece of work.”

Yuuri stiffens when Mila’s eyes bore into him.

<<Enough. I said no such thing.>>

“You didn’t have to,” said Deliah with a dismissive wave, “If someone as sweet as you is getting harassed, it’s sure to be an asshole on the other end. No way a right and proper person would treat you less than the prince you are.”

Yuuri huffs. <<Thank you, now move on.>>

Deliah grins and bows her head. “On your command.”

Despite being treated like that, Mila remains with them until all of the caravans are fully loaded. She’s watching Yuuri like a hawk and trails after him.

“You should go rest before—”

Yuuri turns around. <<Thank you, you’re dismissed.>>

Mila flounders. “If you could write, why didn’t you before?”

Irritated, Yuuri repeats himself, punctuating his message.

“What’s going on here?” Viktor trots up to them, hair mussed from the wind.

“Nothing,” says Mila, “I’m just trying to get Stars to take a nap.”

Viktor smiles sweetly at Yuuri. “Are you tired?”

<<No.>>

“Ah! So you’ve decided to bless us with your own sweet words!” Viktor looks immensely pleased and takes Yuuri’s hand. “I have a surprise for you—”

“So you knew Stars could write?” Mila interrupts, looking bewildered.

“Why wouldn’t a royal mage know how to write?” Viktor arches a perfectly-shaped eyebrow. “How else would a royal mage communicate with those outside their inner circle?”

Mila yells, “I don’t know! It would have made the past several days easier!” She looks at Yuuri, expecting an explanation.

“Come on, dearest,” says Viktor after a beat of silence, “I have a wonderful surprise!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And just to be clear whenever the <> is used, it means a mage is writing (speaking).


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Every time I think Im done adding sad stuff to yuuri's life something else comes up.

They leave Mila, sputtering and red-faced, behind.

“Do you think she’ll hold a grudge?” Yuuri speaks quietly.

“If she does she had better be ready to face me as well,” murmured Viktor, tucking Yuuri’s hand into the crook of his arm, ”Did you have a nice morning, sweetness? Did you eat?”

Several people walked past them so Yuuri didn’t answer until Viktor stopped them a short distance from the corrals. “I did. The forewoman, Deliah is very nice. I like her a lot.”

“Noted,” said Viktor, with a soft smile. “I’m glad you’re making friends.”

Yuuri fingers at a loose thread on his tunic. “Thank you...”

“Is this something Ruth also prohibited?” Viktor’s sharp gaze on him is broken when the corral gates open. “Here comes Chris with your surprise!”

Yuuri gasps at the horse Viktor pushes him towards. She’s tall. A blue roan appaloosa who swivels to observe them. Trembling, Yuuri looks back at Viktor for permission.

“Go on! She’s yours.”

With a gasp, Yuuri slowly steps forward, only barely aware of Chris being shooed away. “Hi, there.” He whispers, reaching out to stroke the horse’s quivering nose. Yuuri wishes he could strip his gloves off to touch her velvet nose.

The horse’s ears swivel towards him and she tries to nibble at the cowl tucked over his face.

“Do you like her?”

Yuuri breaks all sorts of rules and protocols by throwing himself onto Viktor, hugging his neck tightly. Viktor laughs, gripping Yuuri with one hand and holding the horse’s reins in the other.

“I’m glad you like her so much, but you can thank me properly later.”

Blushing, Yuuri bows low in both apology and to show his gratitude.

Chuckling, Viktor rubs his jaw, there’s a light blush gracing his face. “I didn’t expect you to be so pleased.”

“She’s beautiful,” whispers Yuuri, turning back to stroke the horse’s neck. She ignores them in favor of searching the ground for something to eat. Viktor hands the reins to him and then a few slices of apple. “I’ve never—” Yuuri bites his lip, “Thank you.” He takes the apple slices, offering them to the horse who gently nips them up, then noses into Yuuri’s chest to see if he’s hiding more treats. He giggles, gently pushing her back.

“I’m glad you like her.” Viktor swells with pride at how quickly the horse accepts his little mage. “I chose her especially for you.”

“Thank you Viktor, she’s perfect.” Shyly, Yuuri turns to Viktor, he dares to touch his arm. “This is the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for me.”

Thoughtfully, Viktor takes his hand again, leading him back to their tent. “Well, it’s only the beginning. This is the way it’s going to be between us.”

“Oh.” Dumbly, Yuuri just nods, is forced to fall silent as they pass through camp. Viktor’s personal groomer takes the blue roan from Yuuri with wide eyes.

Yuuri brushed past the front room when he saw it was full of people wanting to see Viktor.

He expects Viktor to be busy for at least a couple hours until they leave so Yuuri runs a bath and pulls out a special box of cream, before he gets into the warm water he strips down to his small clothes in front of the bifold mirror, angling it so he can see his back. He doesn’t struggle anymore to cream up his back, it’s the work of a few minutes, then he creams up his shoulders and thighs. He’s rubbing the cream into a particularly stubborn scar on his calf when Viktor waltzes in, looking disgruntled.

His eyes dart away from Yuuri then curiosity must win over because he takes in Yuuri’s funny, splotchy appearance. He’s covered in weird amber cream all over.

Yuuri puts the box down, only for Viktor to pick it up, sniffing the contents. “What is this? Your beauty regimen?” His eyes water at the weird smell.

“Sort of I guess.” Yuuri hobbles over to the tub, careful not to get any cream on anything before shucking off his small clothes. Viktor’s immediately there, holding a hand out so Yuuri can balance more easily while he climbs into the tub.

“Should I use it?” asks Viktor with an indulgent smile.

“You can,” says Yuuri, “It really helps, especially with overgrown scars.” He lets the heat of the water seep into his legs first before lowering himself into the water. He sits legs crossed, not letting his back or chest touch the ceramic sides.

“Scars? This cream is for scarring?” Viktor touches his back, gently scraping some cream off.

Yuuri freezes, his breath going shallow.

“Yuuri. Are these from Ruth.” Viktor’s fingers continue to skate delicate paths across his back, Yuuri realizes he’s reapplying the cream and smoothing the rest over.

“......Yes.” Finally he manages to answer, “They are.”

He doesn’t expect Viktor to kiss his shoulder. “No more, okay?”

Yuuri nods, throat thick. He’s not sure he understands what Viktor means.

“How often do you use this?”

The water warming Yuuri’s toes isn’t the reason his whole body feels hot, it’s the softness of Viktor’s voice. He can’t turn to face Viktor. “Um, well only when I didn’t have any open areas. If it gets inside then it burns real bad and ruins the skin. See?”

 Yuuri lifts his right arm, near his armpit is an ugly strip of scar tissue that looks almost burned. “Besides that, I use it as often as I can.”

The silence stretches for so long that Yuuri’s butt starts to hurt. “I thought you’d seen them? The first day.”

“Obviously not,” says Viktor, affronted, “I wasn’t going to look at you and be all creepy.”

Laughter bubbles out of Yuuri, tickling his throat, Viktor catching the back of his head before Yuuri can bang it on the side of the tub. “You’re so—” He bites back the rest of the sentence, _silly, ridiculous._ It’s too rude and... what if it makes Viktor angry? Then he’d be in for it and Yuuri doesn’t want to see that side of Viktor yet. Maybe in a few years once the newness of their relationship has worn off and Viktor’s fucked him enough times for him to bore Viktor, then Yuuri will be able to stomach Viktor’s anger.

But right now... Yuuri doesn’t want to risk it.

“I’m what—” Viktor’s fingers massage his scalp, “Ridiculous?”

Yuuri’s heart leaps in fear, “N-no. Sweet. I don’t care. It’s just a body.”

Viktor hums, “I guess you’re right.” He kisses Yuuri’s temple. “I’m afraid this bath has to be short. It’s past lunch time and Commander Baravnoskaya insists we see her before the month is out.”

“She’s your boss?”

“Yeah.”

“So she was Yakov’s boss?”

Viktor grows pensive, “Yes.”

“Oh...”

Viktor leaves him to soak for a few more minutes before they hurry to get ready and have the tent dismantled for the long ride.


	14. Chapter 14

Viktor isn’t sure what to do about Yuuri. He can _sometimes_ tell when the little mage is thinking dark thoughts, but most of the time he’s got that damned veil on or his face is a perfectly unreadable blank. Viktor is slowly starting to realize that the blank face might _be_ a sign that something is wrong. Like a few minutes ago. It would have been so _easy_ to blow up, every scar on Yuuri’s body made Viktor shiver in anger.

Luckily Viktor had been able to hold himself back, trading the anger for a kiss for his sweet little mage.

Viktor looked around the camp thoughtfully, wondering if Yakov was lingering here or somewhere else. He wonders what it would take for Yakov to move on, scowling at the thought that follows. If Yakov had gotten some random woman pregnant there would be no way he’d care, but Lilia... That was always a soft spot.

A tentative touch on his arm pulls Viktor away from his thoughts. Chris and Yuuri stand in front of him, Chris has a questioning expression on his face.

“Everything alright, Captain?”

“Yes,” says Viktor a little too roughly, “I’m just not happy about being commanded by Baravnoskaya like this. We’re not her pets.”

Chris smirks, “We’re a little like her pets. And it’s not like you’re important enough to ignore her.”

Viktor sighs and takes Yuuri’s hand. Their tent is quickly being dismantled so he bids Chris to form everyone up.

“Shall we, my love?”

Yuuri nods, nimbly vaulting onto the blue roan which is already saddled, saddlebags hanging heavy with things he’ll need for tonight. Yuuri strokes the softened leather of his bags which had been a gift from Ruth. Yuuri wryly now thinks they might have been a bribe to shut up his crying about missing home.

“What are you going to name her?” Viktor leans against the blue roan and against Yuuri’s leg, stroking his calf.

Yuuri wants to kick out, Viktor’s fingers are tickling the sensitive tendons behind his knee. He shrugs and pats the blue roan’s whither.

“We’ll think of something tonight.” Viktor smiles and goes to mount his own horse, a cherry-red arabian who is more than a little high strung. Yuuri thinks he’d be able to handle a high-spirited horse, but if Viktor wants him on a sweetheart like the blue roan then Yuuri won’t complain. He feels like a sultan.

The train is coming together slowly but surely. The vanguard is assembled and impatient to get going so Viktor sends them on ahead.

“We’ll work out what to do with the mages once we reach Lilia,” says Viktor apologetically. “I know it’s not ideal, but things will work out.”

Yuuri scowls since Viktor can’t see, just nodding for the captain’s benefit. Yuuri twists Blue’s reins, turning her away from Viktor.

“Stars? Where are you going?”

Yuuri touches his forehead and then his left wrist.

“Ah. Okay.” Viktor wants to keep Yuuri close, but he can’t coddle his mage. “You know where to find me.” It stings when Yuuri gives him a curt nod, disappearing to go find the lesser mages.

Viktor takes his place near the front of the train to signal the forward march. His heart stings, wishing Yuuri would have wanted to share this moment with him. Was the Elder-Stars with Yakov whenever they started a march? Viktor doesn’t remember.

His next action is to spit to the side, his stomach broiling with acid and fury. Carrots senses his mood and prances to the side, testing his grip on the reins.

“Captain!”

“Lieutenant,” replies Viktor, jaw tight.

“Wow, should I also throw myself off a cliff?”

 _Also_??? Viktor patiently waits for Chris to explain himself, and within seconds Chris cracks.

“Mila! Mila is convinced you’re going to accidentally-slash-on-purpose shove her off the nearest cliff. She’s _moping_.”

 _Moping?_ Viktor shrugs. “It’s none of my doing.”

Chris hums. “So you’re not going to exile her?”

“No! Gods, she’s dramatic.” Viktor smiles when Carrots starts to trot, he gently tugs the horse back in line.

They ride in companionable silence after that, and chat when the train stops at a convenient place to rest. Yuuri still doesn’t appear to join them nor does Viktor see him for the rest of the evening.

Finally, Viktor is forced to send Mila to look for his mage. She reappears a few minutes later with Yuuri in tow.

A Yuuri whose long trailing scarves and various silks are dusty and muddy. His boots are _caked_ in thick mud.

“What have you been up to?” Viktor asks in awe, “Come sit and have dinner with me. Mila, join us.” It’s not a request. Mila flinches and throws herself onto the one remaining cushion. Chris snickers and pinches her arm.

Viktor leans into Yuuri’s space. “Everything in order?”

Yuuri nods and reaches for a bowl.

“Your hands are _filthy.”_ Viktor grabs his wrist. “Mila, go get Stars new gloves please.”

Mila jumps to her feet, hurrying to follow the order.

Chris laughs and shakes his head. “You’ll make her go gray.”

Yuuri nods.

“Two against one!” crows Chris, “Stars thinks you’re being too hard on her.” Yuuri nods again and taps his bent knee for emphasis.

“You two are ganging up on me,” complains Viktor, “I’m still mad at her for how she treated you.” Viktor rubs his wrist.

Yuuri shrugs.

“So... Stars—” Chris lowers his eyelids, giving Yuuri a smirk. Viktor immediately throws a piece of bread at Chris. “Behave! Or I’ll throw _you_ off a cliff.”

Yuuri quickly places a silencing spell on himself before he laughs out loud. The spell squeezes his neck lightly.

They start dinner only when Mila comes back with a pair of fresh shoulder-length gloves for Yuuri and once he trades his filthy ones for clean ones.

Viktor doesn’t allow anyone to raise a tent, except for Yuuri who tries to reject the idea.

“But don’t you want to bathe?”

Yuuri stares with longing at the river where most of the battalion has waded into. Yuuri hugs himself, feeling acutely alone.

“Stars?”

Yuuri shakes his head and Viktor sighs in frustration, “You need to bathe. I can’t imagine you’re comfortable. You’re getting a tent.”

Yuuri lowers his head in acknowledgement.

A small tent is set up with a steaming tub inside. Yuuri stands in front of the tub half-naked and feels himself start to cry, impatiently he dashes away the tears while raising a silencing spell around the small tent, lowering it from himself, vocal cords working free.

He doesn’t want to push his luck with Viktor any more than necessary so he scrubs clean and bunks down in the tent. Viktor only comes back to wish him goodnight.

“You’re not staying?”

“The tent’s too small,” says Viktor with a smile, “I don’t want to sleep standing up.”

“So you’re going to sleep outside?”

“It’s not that bad,” murmured Viktor, “The furs are heavy and the stars are pretty. Plus Chris has brought out his guitar.”

Viktor is pleased when Yuuri crawls into his furs without fussing.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All of the comments I receive are SO sweet and I love reading them!! Thank you SO much, especially the chapter kudos <3!!!!

They travel for a week like that and the only worrisome thing Viktor has to ponder is Yuuri’s silence and waning appetite.

Without the tents up Viktor can’t brazenly hand feed Yuuri, so he’s forced to watch as Yuuri only picks through his food, just shoving it around his bowl. Each night when Viktor kisses Yuuri good night, Yuuri looks thinner and his skin looks almost gray.

He confides in both Mila and Chris the next day while they’re riding.

Mila shrugs, “What’s their favorite food? Maybe try that.”

It’s a good idea that Viktor already considered. “I don’t think the problem is the food.”

“Well you’ve got the poor mage all cooped up and isolated night after night,” says Chris. “I hate being alone. If I was Stars I’d go stir crazy.”

“But... They haven’t said anything!”

“Do they usually?”

Viktor teased out his reigns, giving Carrots a bit more leeway. “Yes. But they’ve been... subdued lately.”

“Maybe Stars is tired,” reasoned Mila, “They _do_ spend the whole day working with the lesser mages to shape up their formation.” Mila grimaces, “And those morons aren’t making it easy on Stars. He must be exhausted.”

Viktor nods, pretending he already knew that. “I’ll see if they want to sleep with us common folk out on the grass.”

“I’ll bring out my guitar!” Chris grins brightly.

Viktor nods gratefully.

.....

.....

“Yuuri?”

Yuuri doesn’t respond. He’s robotically bathing himself, eyes far away, barely able to keep them open.

“ ~Yuuri~.” Viktor places a warm kiss on the wet skin of his little mage’s shoulder.

“Yes, Captain?”

“Wow.” Viktor thought that with a little teasing Yuuri would crack open. “You’ve been working so hard with the lesser mages. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“You could have come looking, I wasn’t hiding.” Immediately Yuuri pales, dropping to his knees, dirty water sloshes over the sides of the tub. “I’m sorry! I should have—”

“I’m not mad, Yuuri.” Exasperated, Viktor crouches next to the tub, “I’m worried about you. I didn’t know you were working yourself to the bone to impress Commander Baravnoskaya.” Yuuri looks away, confirming Viktor’s suspicions. “And if you wanted to sleep outside with us... You should have said so~.” He sing-songs the last part.

Yuuri slumps. “You would have said no.”

“Maybe.” Viktor concedes reluctantly, “But I would have figured out quicker that it’s something you really _really_ want.”

Yuuri crumbles even further. “I’m sorry, Captain. I know you can’t read my mind. It’s my fault.”

Viktor grimaces. “I wish there was some way to convince you that I’m not going to punish you for asking for things.” Yuuri huddles pathetically in the dirty bath water, shivering.

“Come out. It’s time for bed and the workers have to dismantle the tent.”

“I wish I could bathe in the river,” whispers Yuuri into his knees.

Viktor cupped Yuuri’s face, smiling softly. On one hand Yuuri was voicing what he wanted but on the other hand...

“But it’s a stupid wish,” muttered Yuuri, looking up at Viktor. “I can’t even swim.” He slowly pulled away, chin trembling.

Viktor hummed, thinking about Yuuri’s request. “It’s not stupid. And it’s not impossible.”

“No?” Yuuri’s eyes were so wide they almost popped out. Viktor teased a kiss to his cheek.

“No, now don’t ask me more questions because I’d like this to be a surprise. Now come on out. Bed time.”

The smile of pure joy and disbelief on Yuuri’s face at being offered such a small gesture makes Viktor’s heart ache, did Yuuri really think he’d be angry at such a request?

The answer was yes, Yuuri _did_ think Viktor wanted him to be nothing more than a slave. A quiet shadow he was supposed to boss around and fuck occasionally.

He slid a hand around Yuuri’s shoulder. “I’m going to try to make this happen, but maybe it won’t work out, okay?”

Yuuri nodded immediately, face flushed with excitement. “I understand.”

“Then let’s get you into some warm pajamas.”

....

....

“Finally! We were going to start laying bets on what position Viktor had bent you into.”

“Chris one more word that isn’t an cheerful song and I will demote you.”

“Yikes, can’t a guy wonder what took so long?”

“Nope.” Viktor spread out the bundle of furs for Yuuri to sleep in, moving his own nearby.

Yuuri smiled broadly, glad he was hidden behind a cowl and scarf. He kicked his shoes off before sliding into his bedroll, sighing at the cool whisper of fur that was already warming him up.

Viktor gave him a tender look and slid into his own furs, he leaned close to Yuuri.

“Is this better, darling?”

“Yes. Thank you, Viktor. _Thank you_.” Yuuri wishes he could kiss Viktor, the best option was to rest his forehead against Viktor’s shoulder and enjoy how Viktor squeezed him close for a second. “Alright, bedtime.”

Happily, Yuuri placed a silencing charm on himself, just in case, before snuggling down for the night.

.....

....

The next morning Yuuri ravenously ate three bowls of noodles and veg for breakfast, which made Viktor so happy he tried to kiss Yuuri through the thin material that swaddled him.

Viktor was also elated because Yuuri decided to ride with him for the day.

Chris also rode next to them, which made speaking to one another tricky, relegating Yuuri to using his air-writing.

“So, how do you like your horse, dearest Stars?” Chris grinned at Yuuri.

<<Good, she’s wonderful.>>

“I found them cuddling this morning.” Viktor winks at him.

Yuuri twists the reigns around his wrist, embarrassed.

“What did you name the horse?”

<<I haven’t decided yet.>>

“What?!” Chris looked offended. “Do you know how long Viktor worried about getting his mage the perfect horse? And I had to suffer the whole time!”

Viktor doesn’t want Yuuri to feel badly so he slaps the rump of Chris’ horse, sending the lieutenant far ahead.

“Ignore him. He’s just mad I wouldn’t buy him a new saddle kit.”

......

.....

Yuuri hugs Blue, patting her neck and hums a half-forgotten song softly while brushing her mane out. He breathes slowly, trying to keep himself calm. They arrive at Commander Baravnoskaya’s tomorrow and there’s really nothing Yuuri can do to stop it.

“Ahem.”

Yuuri flinches, Blue snorts, shoving him to one side.

Chris is standing a few meters away. “We’re going to start going now. Viktor just wanted me to let you know that he’d like if you joined him for lunch. We’re almost at Lilia’s and—Is it uncomfortable to wear all those layers?”

Startled, Yuuri only shrugs. He strokes Blue’s shoulder fondly, having the horse between him and Chris is a bit of a comfort. <<I started wearing them very young. I am used to them.>>

Chris nods. “Well, I haven’t seen the lesser mages at work. Is it alright if I accompany you?”

Yuuri chews his lip. <<I don’t see a point in doing anything with them. One day won’t turn them competent.>>

“They’re that bad?” Chris grins knowingly, “You should let Viktor comfort you. I promise not to write songs that are _too_ scandalous.”

Yuuri snorts. <<I wouldn’t trust you with a cloistered monk’s reputation>>

Chris gasps, clutching his chest and stumbling back a few paces. Yuuri giggles, despite himself.

Immediately he feels sick, placing a silencing spell on himself and huddling behind Blue.

Chris falls silent as well, eventually he mutters an apology and leaves.

With shaking hands, Yuuri saddles Blue, who tries to nibble on his arm. When he joins up with Viktor, Chris is missing.

“Stars! Are you riding with me today?” Viktor looks so happy, bringing his aptly named, Carrots close to Yuuri’s roan. “You have very good timing, remember what I promised?”

Of _course_ he remembers, Yuuri nods, hands shaking for a new reason.

“Today. After lunch. You and I are going to take an excursion.”

<<Are you sure? Won’t this make us late for meeting with Lilia?>>

Some of the excitement dims from Viktor’s face but he shakes it off. “Let me worry about that, sweet sunrise.” Viktor reaches out to squeeze his fingers, “Chris can handle being in charge _one_ day. We’re close enough to Baravnoskaya’s that our people will be safe.”

Yuuri sighs, nodding, squeezing Viktor’s fingers back. His heart is thumping loosely, jarred out of his usual quiet complacency.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another update before I got back to hibernation for a few days :)  
> Thank you for the comments!!!! :o :D

They follow the curve and bend of the river for a few hours, both of them silent. Yuuri chews his lips, trying to come up with _something_ nice or funny to say.

But.

But he has nothing. His stupid brain is, for once, cursedly empty of thought.

What would he even say? He has nothing interesting or new to say. Viktor already knows what he’s been doing since Mila keeps an eye on him and the rest of the camp does too for all Yuuri knows.

“Have you ever tried to swim?”

Yuuri jolts, almost falling out of his seat like some beginner rider. “Uhm. Well. I think with my family—” Yuuri grits his teeth, clenching his eyes shut, “Sorry. I mean—No. No.”

“Do you remember much? Before... Before you were with us?” Viktor’s voice is hushed, afraid of spooking Yuuri.

“No,” says Yuuri miserably. “Ruth—“He shuts up because talking about what Ruth did to him always upsets Viktor and Yuuri is sure Viktor must be tired of it.

“It’s alright,” murmurs Viktor, angling Carrots closer. “Everything is alright.”

“I’m fine,” mutters Yuuri, tamping down on his memories. “Ruth didn’t like it when I talked about my family, so no. I don’t remember much.”

“What do you remember?”

Yuuri does _not_ want to talk about this. “Water. And food. Good food. Warmth. That’s all.” It’s not true. Not by a long shot, but if Yuuri were truthful Viktor would probably be upset. Yuuri was supposed to leave everything behind when he was given the honor of being royal mage. He was supposed to focus on his duties. And nothing more.

“I’m sorry,” says Viktor, “I wish...” He takes a deep breath, “I wish things were different.”

Dully, Yuuri nods.

“But never mind. I don’t know why I’m so nosy, I apologize. I wouldn’t be surprised if you were tired of all my questions. It’s just. I’d like to know everything about you.” Viktor abruptly stops Carrots, Yuuri following suit. “You must know so much about me. And I hardly know anything about you.”

Yuuri twists the reins around his fist, a treacherous thought worming out from his heart. _That’s how is should be, for_ my _sake._ “Hm.”

Viktor smiles apologetically. He dismounts and turns towards the brush that edges along the river. “I’m sure the path is around here somewhere. You might have to dismount.”

The path is barely a deer trail, it winds down-down-down. The scrub bushes turning into scraggly thin trees growing out of craggy cliff. The air cools down even further.

“It’s winter,” says Yuuri stupidly, “I forgot.” He carefully leads Blue through the deer trail, the sweet horse rubbing her nose on his back like an affectionate cat.

“Nonsense! We’re not afraid of cold water.” Viktor grins mischievously, walking ahead.

Viktor leads them through several screens of prickly trees into a hidden bay. The river’s icy cold water flows into a sandy inlet surrounded on all sides by thick brush and by a canyon overhang. Some day the rocks would fall destroying the bay, but today it provided the perfect place to learn to swim.

“Wh-what are you doing?” Yuuri hissed.

Viktor was stripping down to his small clothes and Yuuri was momentarily struck dumb by just how muscled and _gorgeous_ Viktor was. “I don’t know about you, but swimming is best done with minimal clothing.” Viktor splashes into the river, shivering and laughing loudly.

Yuuri slowly unsaddles Blue and Viktor wades out to unsaddle Carrots as well, giggling.

The first touch of icy water on his feet makes everything _real_. Yuuri gasps, reaching out to Viktor for support. “O-oh spirits, it’s freezing!” Without thinking, Yuuri summons a heating spell. Immediately the water in the bay shivers and heats up, steaming in small coiled clouds.

“Yuuri! So smart.” Viktor laughs, throwing himself head first into the warmed water, “AAh... This is... heaven. MMmm. Wow...” Viktor paddles around a bit before returning to Yuuri. “Now, my first lesson and _most_ important one is learning how to float.”

Viktor leads him out to where the water is waist-height, placing his hands on Yuuri’s chest.

“Okay.” Yuuri lets Viktor tip him backward, automatically inhaling to fill his lungs, enjoying the barely-there caress of Viktor’s hands on his back, buoying him up.

“Just like that, spread your weight out and let the currents take care of everything.” Viktor looks down at him with such warmth and love that Yuuri forgets to keep holding his breath, laughing and then almost drowning in Viktor’s arms.

Viktor immediately hauls him up, letting him cough up the warm water that’s slowly cooling.

“I’m fine,” sputters Yuuri, frantically wiping his face, “I’m okay.”

They float around the water a few more minutes until Viktor is satisfied with his floating before teaching Yuuri a few basic strokes.

“Like a fish in water!” says Viktor, chasing after Yuuri. Yuuri struggles upright, running through the water, throwing up a temporary whirlpool that sweeps Viktor off his feet. He laughs, squealing when Viktor shoots out of the water in front of him, throwing Yuuri over one shoulder.

“Very naughty!” admonishes Viktor, depositing Yuuri on the sand. Yuuri would normally recoil in fear but Viktor’s laughter is bright and infectious, and his mouth is warm on Yuuri’s.

“I formally apologize,” says Yuuri with a smile. Resting his face against Viktor’s shoulder, Yuuri feels himself fully relax for the first time in years. “Thank you.”

Viktor sits next to him, cradling the back of his head, fingers working through the long, dark strands. “My life for yours, darling. My heart.”

Yuuri’s breath catches and Viktor holds him closer. “It’s true. It’s true.”

They barely make it back to camp before nightfall.

......

......

They’re barely finishing breakfast when a courier in a horribly checkered yellow and black jacket comes riding up to where Viktor and Yuuri are sitting, dismounting even before his horse stops.

“Words of welcome from Commander Baravnoskaya!”

Yuuri involuntarily flinches at the volume the message is delivered. Viktor takes his hand, stroking the contour of his thumb.

“Continue.”

“Commander Baravnoskaya bids you place yourselves on the southside, and she welcomes you for a private luncheon!”

“Please inform her that we are on our way.”

The courier immediately jumps on her pony and dashes away, leaving them in a cloud of dust.

Viktor laughs quietly, “We should get going if we’re to make it on time.”

.........

........

Lilia’s camp is a beast that should really be called a town. There are no tents, instead there are proper houses and roads. They spot it from several kilometers away when the shrill cry of trumpets cry out their arrival.

Viktor grins. “ We’ve been announced! Chris stay with everyone, have them set up camp. Mila—Join us.”

Yuuri urges Blue into a trot after Viktor, Mila falling into line behind them.

Despite everything, Viktor feels a surge of excitement at seeing Lilia after so long.

They dismount near the stables and a page shows them to Lilia’s house. It’s a huge, semi-permanent structure.

“Ah, Viktor. Dear boy.” Lilia sighs and hugs him.

“Lilia. I’m... sorry.”

“I’ve read the report. Not your fault.”

Viktor sweeps back to motion Yuuri forward. “This is my royal mage, Stars. An absolute darling and so smart! Lilia I can’t believe my luck.” Viktor gushes loudly, carefully watching Lilia’s face. The commander nods curtly, her face not moving an inch. “Is that so? Come. You must be hungry. Send the mage on their way.”

Viktor stutters, “But—” He feels a discreet tug on his sleeve from Yuuri. “I see. You’ve caught me unawares! I thought we were going to dive right into business.”

Lilia’s face clears in understanding and she smiles, “Ah. No. For once we will conduct our pleasure before business. And therefore you do not need your mage.”

Viktor is about to argue but Yuuri is already heading back to the stables, probably to pick his horse up and meet up with Chris. It’s fine.

Viktor exhales, smiling brightly. He’ll let it go.

For now.


	17. Chapter 17

“So the mage is to your taste?” Lilia’s lip curls on the word mage.

“Actually...” Viktor hesitates, “I have some questions about their use.”

“Naturally. I doubt Yakov was much of a teacher in that regard.” Lilia almost cracks her teeth on Yakov’s name.

“Stars did mention that Yakov had some difficulty with Elder-Stars. They were at constant odds—"

“A gossiper.” Lilia cuts him off, nodding at the guards who salute them as they enter Lilia’s house. “Don’t worry. That can be fixed with some corrective action. But no more business. For once we will simply have a nice dinner.”

“It’s not a problem,” said Viktor easily, “Shall I pour you a cup of wine?  Also...” His eyes flash. “I do not wish you to presume in correcting my mage. There is nothing to be fixed.”

Lilia cocks her head, smile thinning out. “Nonsense dear boy, a gossiping mage is dangerous. They fill your ears with poison. A good caning will put them to rights.”

“It’s not necessary,” says Viktor, firmly, “Besides, what Stars shared with me isn’t gossip—”

Lilia completely ignores Viktor, crooking her finger at Mila, “You. Sergeant.”

Mila jumps to attention, eyes darting to Viktor. “Sergeant Babicheva, Commander Baranovskaya, ma’am.”

“Attend to the correction of the mage. Any cane will do as long as it doesn’t break.”

“I can assure you Lilia, that is _not_ necessary.” Viktor puts the jug of wine down.

“Believe me, if you do not take a strict hand to them the wretched chits become willful. Now do not argue anymore. You’ll make me think you incompetent.” Lilia’s eyes flash, “In fact. Look there Sergeant, that cane is the one I usually use for discipline. Take it and go.”

Mila takes the cane and bows out of the room. Viktor takes a deep pull of his wine, when he resurfaces, Lilia’s hard eyes search his face. “Everyone is dismissed. Circe!”

A willowy figure dressed in mustard yellow silks immediately appears by Lilia’s side, crouching by her knees. There are gardenias embroidered on the crown of this mage’s hat in white thread.

“Raise a silencing spell.”

The mage lifts their hand.

“Now, what did your... What is their pseudonym?”

“Stars.”

“What did Stars tell you about Yakov and I?”

Viktor decides in that moment that he’ll tell Lilia absolutely nothing of what he and Yuuri talked about. That was a personal and painful conversation. Also, he doesn’t like the way Lilia’s usually ice-cold demeanor is in shreds. “Only that Yakov and the Elder-Stars’ relationship was rough in the end. I wonder if that desynchronization was what caused the explosion...”

Lilia’s eyes soften in understanding. “I see. I’m very sorry Viktor but I do not know. That explosion is extremely suspect.”

“It is?” That’s the first Viktor has heard of it. “Will there be an investigation?”

“Most likely, but it won’t involve you or the mage.”

“Then there’s no reason to worry about it. However, will you alert me if there are any developments?”

“Yes, of course.”

The tension in the air dissipates and Lilia sends away the mage who bows themselves out of the room.

.....

.....

Viktor forces himself to walk to his tent with measured steps. Lilia follows him the whole way, criticizing every aspect of Viktor’s camp that she can see.

“Your tent is so small, Viktor. I remember being a captain. And the state of your people’s tents is disgraceful, how could you let this happen?”

Viktor’s grin is forced. “Would you like a cup of tea before you retire for the night? I have this delicious orange and spice blend.”

“Your kindness is noted,” said Lilia with amusement, eyes traveling around the camp. She ignores Viktor standing in front of the entrance, “But I must decline. Have a good night’s sleep.”

“And you, Commander.”

Viktor barges in through the front room, past Yuuri, Mila, and Chris playing cards into the private quarters. He backpedals and dives for Yuuri.

“Are you alright?!”

Mila hisses, offended. “Viktor! Don’t be daft. Of course I didn’t beat him. Gods!”

Yuuri goes weak in his arms, knees buckling.

“Stars!” He swings Stars up, carrying him into the private area.

With trembling fingers, Yuuri raises the silencing spell. “Wh—What did she—”

“Shhh. Everything is okay.” Viktor lays Yuuri down in the plush bed, his darling mage already starting to hyperventilate. “Let me explain.”

Yuuri isn’t comforted by his explanation and clutches Viktor hard, fingers digging into the thick fabric of his coat.

“I won’t let her hurt you, sweet bird. I promise,” Viktor pulls off the head coverings, heart stinging at Yuuri’s pale face. “I’ll speak with Mila and Chris, _no one_ will lay a hand on you.” He strokes Yuuri’s cheek tenderly. “Darling... _please_ believe me.”

Yuuri swallows air, clutching at Viktor’s shoulders. “If—If she really wants to punish me then there’s n-nothing you can do. I _told_ you not to say anything about—” Yuuri slaps a hand over his mouth.

Viktor feels immensely guilty, he gently pulls away Yuuri’s hands. “You’re right to scold me. I should have believed you. This isn’t a topic to bring up around Lilia, I never realized she would be so sensitive about this.”

Yuuri relaxes minutely. “I trust you. Please. _Please_ don’t make her angry.”

“I won’t.” Viktor leans down, pressing their foreheads together. “Sweetest sunrise, I swear it. I will be more tame than a bunny.”

Yuuri exhales, going limp with relief. “Thank you.”

They remain like that until Yuuri’s breathing evens out, color reappearing in his thin cheeks.

“Do you want to finish your game with Mila and Chris?”

“Can... Can I have a minute?”

They do reappear in the front room eventually.

“Is Stars okay?” Chris pulls out a seat for the mage.

<<I’m okay, I just panicked _. >>_ Yuuri takes the chair, grateful that Viktor sits next to him.

Mila stares down at her hands. “You’ve been beaten before, haven’t you?”

“That’s none of your business,” replies Viktor firmly, he looks at Yuuri. “You don’t have to say anything.”

<<I can’t say anything to them anyway.>>

Viktor pinches his knee lightly, “I’ll kiss that sarcasm off your lips later tonight”

Chris wolf-whistles and Yuuri drags his hat over his face, groaning.

....

....

They all unanimously decide that Yuuri should remain out of Lilia’s sight and in company of either Chris or Mila. Both of whom are on strict orders to keep Stars from harm.

“I’ll make sure to keep Lilia busy, you two worry about entertaining Stars.”

Yuuri spends an enjoyable morning with Chris who finds an old guitar for him and they while away the hours plucking at the strings. It’s perfect because Yuuri learns best through imitation and Chris is delighted to have an eager student.

Yuuri learns a sea shanty and half a bawdy love song before he’s summoned to dine with Viktor and Commander Lilia.

“Don’t worry,” says Chris with a bracing smile, his eyes bright, “ Viktor would rather lose his command than have you hurt.”

<<If he loses his battalion then we’ll be separated.>>

“Right...”

Yuuri wears his nicest hat, just below the ceremonial beaded one, and soft calf-skin gloves with the image of three stars burned onto the palms.

Viktor waits for him outside of the tent, looking relaxed. Lilia’s guards stare at Yuuri impudently. Although he seems at ease, Viktor doesn’t say anything beyond a gentle smile.

They’re not alone at the dining table. There are three other Captains and their mages that Lilia invited. Yuuri wonders how the area could feasibly host them for long before the trash piled up and the fields were stripped bare.

He and the four other mages are escorted to another room, the door barred behind them.

Oh. Yuuri expected to eat with Viktor. This... This is not what he mentally prepared for.

Lilia’s mage, Circe, takes off their bright yellow silks first, raising the silencing spell around them.


	18. Chapter 18

“Stars, how are you doing?” Circe turns out to be a woman with sad eyes and a firm, stubborn mouth. She hangs her hat on a peg by the door and Yuuri mimics her, acutely aware of the other mages also shedding their outerwear. Yuuri drapes his silks on top of his hat. Yellow, dark blue, electric green, red, and palest of pinks. Yuuri breaths slowly, trying to calm himself at his first true outing as a full royal mage.

“I’m well, thank you. I am well taken care of.” Yuuri is acutely aware that Circe is asking about his injuries from supposedly being caned.

Circe searches his face. “Good, good. Now let me introduce you to everyone else. Green is Cirrus, red is Festus, pink is Pink.” She smiles sadly. “I truly apologize for your pain.”

Yuuri licks his lips nervously, “I’ve had worse. I will heal.”

Festus, a strapping man who looks like he’s eternally sucking on a lemon impatiently asks. “Can we start dinner? I’ve been ‘nutritionally restricted’ for the past two days for a completely bullshit reason.”

“Yes, yes. I apologize.” Circe moves to start serving the food herself, smiling gratefully when Pink and Yuuri help. “Lilia ordered the young one to be caned. I was merely inquiring after the his health.”

Festus scrutinizes Yuuri. “Sucks. What’d you ‘do’?”

“I’m not sure. The sergeant simply...” Yuuri gulped, remembering the size of the cane Mila had brought to the tent, she’d tossed the cane aside, abruptly asking if he wanted to play a card game.

“Gossiping,” replied Circe, tearing up strips of bread for everyone, “The commander hates it, she thinks we’re stupid creatures. Sit, sit. No point in standing on formality.”

Festus eagerly toasts Circe before digging in. “Oh gods, I haven’t had a proper meal in days.”

Pink, a thin woman with dark eyes and sharp nails, pours herself three consecutive glasses of wine and drains them all like water. She doesn’t even look at the food. “Ah, yokai rejoice, that hits me well. Now Festus,” she pours herself another glass and one for Yuuri, shoving it towards him. “What in Yaksha’s name is going on that you refuse to get your captain pregnant?”

Festus scowls into his plate. “It’s not my fault this stud’s a dud.”

Yuuri chokes on his glass of wine and Cirrus pats his back. “Can we at least try to act nicely for the sake of the kid?”

Festus crams more food into his mouth so Circe sighs and explains, “Festus’ Captain is trying to get pregnant so she can bear child-mages but Festus has already taken the sterilizing potion due to his previous captain _not_ wanting a child.”

Festus rolls his eyes skyward, swallowing his food. “As you can imagine, it’s not easy to grow a garden using sterile seeds. I should have been given to a male Captain but nooo _ooo_ , dear old Vesta wanted me. Gods know why! Now enough about me! I don’t wanna talk about me.”

“How is your Captain?” asked Cirrus kindly, turning to Yuuri, “He was precipitously promoted, no?”

“I like him a lot,” admitted Yuuri, “Although...” Yuuri feels slightly embarrassed but is careful to choose his words with discretion. “He’s refused to bed me since our consummation.”

“What? Why?” Circe looks concerned. “Does he not like men?”

“I think he does? I’m not sure... He kisses me a lot.” Yuuri sighs, “What am I doing wrong?”

Pink swishes her fifth glass of wine around. “Well baby, unless he’s told you _why_ he refuses to poke that pretty little backside then you’re S.O.L.”

Yuuri sinks down in his chair, “Okay...”

“Now, now,” says Circe, “Does anyone have interesting news? I have something juicy.”

“We should tell the kid the rules, I doubt that bitch before him did anything of the sort.” Pink held out her hand, pinky first. “I want to do it.”

Circe shrugged, “It’s all the same to me. Stars, this promise is to not harm other royal mages intentionally by using what information you may overhear. Help, yes. Please feel free, but in the past we’ve had people trying to leverage what’s overheard to the downfall of innocents like us.”

Festus toasts Circe, wicked grin twisting his features. “Innocents! Hah!”

“You know what she means,” Cirrus scowls.

“My arm’s starting to hurt!” Pink waves her arm, wriggling her pinky. With a laugh, feeling loose from the alcohol, Yuuri happily extends his own hand. He stops laughing when a powerful and intricate spell wraps around him, squeezing into the very cracks of his subconscious. It’s only a few seconds, but Yuuri feels like it’s been hours since his last fresh breath when Pink releases him.

Festus hoots and Cirrus claps politely, then Pink refills his glass.

“This one’s as pristine as the driven snow.” Pink’s face is red and she winks at him.

Festus nudges him playfully, “Careful young’un, she’s liable to bed you as to help you.”

Cirrus waves her hands erratically, “I thought Circe wanted to share something juicy?”

The dinner proceeds cheerfully, Yuuri draining four more glasses of dark red wine.

Yuuri’s glass is refilled yet again and the room spins gently underneath him. Festus guides him to an overstuffed beanbag and allows Yuuri to fall into it, holding the wine glass until Yuuri is well situated.

“Thank you.”

Festus ruffles his hair and goes to sit on another chair. Cirrus curls up on another bean bag, seeming content to nap but Pink and Circe are deep in conversation about something important.

Yuuri tries to pay attention, is more successful at draining his wine glass and refusing more alcohol. But he dozes peacefully enough, lulled to sleep by the quiet voices and warm environment around him.

“Hey, sleepyhead. It’s time to go. Get dressed and here, in case you wish to talk with us.” Pink presses a box into his hands.

Somehow, Yuuri covers himself again, donning his hat crookedly. Circe straightens it out for him.

“Take care, little one. Did Pink give you the box?”

Yuuri nods, “She did.”

“Okay, good. I think it’s best you place a silencing spell over yourself, you’re pretty drunk.”

Yuuri wants to argue but when the floor slides away from him, he agrees.

In sharp contrast to how cozy and warm Yuuri feels with the other royal mages, the atmosphere with the captains is absolutely frigid. It does a good job of dispelling Yuuri’s relaxed state of mind, throwing him in the complete opposite direction.

He straightens his posture and meekly goes to stand behind Viktor.

Cirrus’ and Festus’ Captains are arguing about something, both of their faces are red and Yuuri shrinks down when they start screaming.

“Silence,” commands Lilia, looking bored.

Circe lifts her hand, clenching her fist, immediately Yuuri feels like there’s cotton in his mouth, moving like a lazy snake down his throat.

Circe releases her fist and the cotton evaporates like mist. Yuuri would have gasped had the silencing spell not caught his vocal cords.

With a few words, Lilia dismisses everyone but the arguing captains. Viktor doesn’t even look at Yuuri to reassure him that everything is okay. Instead he coolly walks out. Yuuri glances at Pink who gives him a slight nod. Yuuri nods back and follows Viktor.

It’s late, fairy lights are strung up, turning the camp into a glittering city. Yuuri wonders how much effort it would take to light up his and Viktor’s camp like that. He could ask for some crystals to act like—

“Why do you smell like alcohol?”

Yuuri bumps into Viktor, not realizing they’d reached the front room of Viktor’s tent. Mila and Chris are there, staring at them strangely.

Yuuri can’t speak in front of others.

“Stars.”

He flinches at Viktor’s cold assessment of him.

“You two. Get out.”

Then they are alone.

For some reason, Yuuri manages to remain calm, his heart continues beating steadily and his hands don’t shake as he raises the silencing spell around the whole tent and releases himself from it. _I’m super drunk,_ realizes Yuuri, _I’m too young to be this drunk._

He has a flash of insight as to why Viktor doesn’t want to fuck him. “~You~ were right,” slurs Yuuri, loudly, “And I hate that! Gross...”

Viktor gapes at him as Yuuri stumbles into their living quarters.

“Uh... Right about what?”

Yuuri’s drunkenness has disarmed him completely. Viktor was ready to be angry about something but the sight of Yuuri chucking his hat across the room and giggling, makes him forget completely.

“About not wanting to have sex with me. I’m _mad_ that you were right because I want,” Yuuri hiccups, “I wanna be all ~sexy~ and ugh! I _can’t_ because I don’t even know... anything! Nothing, nothing, nothing. Yuuri is just a dumb little... dummy and he can’t do anything right~!” Yuuri wobbles over to the table, squinting at the papers neatly lined up, petulantly he swipes at the stacks, sending them flying.

“Yuuri!”

“That’s me,” Agrees Yuuri, falling into the chair, “Now sssshhhhh, I have work to do or else Ruth will skin me alive.” Yuuri’s voice drops off to a dramatic stage whisper, all rumbly.” She tried to you know. It wasn’t fun. Oh. Wait. Ain’t she dead?”

Viktor takes a steadying breath. “Yuuri, it’s time for bed. We worked all day. Do you want to bathe?”

“No!”

“Okay, then bedtime.”

Yuuri slowly shakes his head, winking and grinning at Viktor. “Nuh-uh it’s time for dancing! No. Wait. It’s—” Yuuri throws himself at the tub and throws up. “Nngh... Yuck.”

Viktor sighs.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You are all so funny, calling for a rebellion. ;)  
> Thank you for enjoying this story so much!!! It really makes it more fun to write knowing that there are people who enjoy and look forward to it!

Lights are stabbing him. Twin daggers right to the eyeballs and into his soft, vulnerable brain.

Yuuri moans and rolls away, which—

Big mistake. Yuuri sits up, sees the bucket and throws up into it.

That’s where Viktor finds him, hanging over the side of the bed, retching into the bucket once again.

“F-fuck Pink.”

Viktor doesn’t ask, it’s the sixth time Yuuri’s said he hates pink, he mentally notes to never buy anything rose-colored for Yuuri.

“I know, dear. Here. drink this, Rocci said it would help.”

“Rocci?”

“She’s our new chief doctor. She’s made a fresh batch of cure for hangovers. I’m sorry it took so long.”

Yuuri eagerly drains the medicine, it smacks of herbs and dried smoke but there’s no hint of magic in it.

“Just lie down until the nausea goes away.”

“I’m never drinking again,” mutters Yuuri, “I hate it.”

Viktor chuckles and presses a kiss to his mage’s forehead.

After the exciting events of yesterday, Yuuri doesn’t want to remain cooped up and takes his lunch with Viktor outside at a low-table with the rest of the battalion.

“Alright there, Stars?”

<<Yes, thank you.>>

“VIktor said you got sick.”

<<I was given alcohol and I’ve never tasted it before. I didn’t know it would affect me that badly. I apologize for my behavior.>>

Mila laughs, “I didn’t realize you were drunk. You were being very coordinated. Last time Viktor drank himself silly he—”

“Mila!”

“Oops.” Mila mimed sealing her lips.

A screw that had been tightly wound in Yuuri loosens and lunch proceeds without another hitch.

“So have you named your horse?” Today Yuuri and Mila are going around camp, finding things Yuuri can fix, barring that, Mila can have someone else fix.

<<Not yet.>> Yuuri stops writing and knees Blue into a canter, Mila yelping at him to wait up.

Festus’ companion wheels their horse around at his approach but backs off immediately.

Festus reaches out and, Yuuri can imagine his wide and toothy grin, grips Yuuri’s hand for a few seconds.

<<I was going to have lunch out by the river, would you join me?>> Festus’ writing is a dark, red trail that burns the air between them.

Yuuri cranks his head in affirmation. Festus looks back at his companion and motions impatiently to Yuuri.

“If you’re sure...”

Festus nods and his companion gives Mila a searing look. “Don’t lose them. I’ll be right back.”

“Yes sir.” Mila dutifully replies.

Festus leads them to the river and turns to Yuuri. >>Tell her to back off so we can chat in peace, I don’t feel like playing nice today.>>

Since Mila isn’t illiterate, she can read that. “Stars, are you sure this is a good idea?”

Yuuri dismounts and approaches the sergeant. <<Yes, please give us privacy. I’d appreciate it.>>

“Fine. Let me know if you need something.” Reluctantly, Mila leaves them, putting a large distance between them but remaining within sight.

Festus grabs a large woven basket from the back of his huge horse and takes Yuuri’s hand, leading him close to the river. “Ah, I can’t stand nosy watchdogs.”

“Watchdogs?”

Festus snorts, “What. You thinks Miss Red-Head is your _bosom_ friend?” Festus snorts.

“No.” Yuuri snaps.

Festus softens. “Bad experience with her?”

“What did you bring for lunch?” Yuuri changes the subject hoping Festus won’t mind.

Festus pats Yuuri on the head, “Well this is just for me, noodles, rolled egg, and some breaded chicken. We’ll wait for your food.”

“Oh... Has your Captain stopped starving you?”

Festus throws his head back, booming with laughter. Yuuri raises a silencing spell around them, but it fails the minute Festus’ laughter stops fighting against the restriction.

“She’s cooked up a wily scheme, that one.”

“Well I’m glad you’re not going hungry anymore.”

Festus spreads out a large blanket just as his ‘watch dog’ returns with another woven basket.

“Master Stars, your lunch.” His tone suggests that Yuuri should eat shit instead of making him run around.

<<Thank you, Diem. Now shoo, dogs don’t get to sit at the table.>> Festus writes in bright red burning letters.

Diem’s face contorts in rage but he retreats.

Yuuri has to take a second to pick his jaw off the floor. “Why?!”

“Why what? Oh, why am I so rude?” Festus shrugs, “Because he’s a bastard. I like to think of it as a little game. _He_ likes to think of it as being a big shit in a little pond.”

Yuuri giggles. He wishes they could remove the scarves and silks. “I’m really hungry.”

“Agreed! Cheers my friend.”

They spend the whole day outside, talking and sharing stories. Cirrus joins them, laying Yuuri’s head on her lap.

“Oh, I think you have to go,” whispers Cirrus, turning to look at an approaching figure.

Yuuri sits up, brightening at a slim figure making his slow way towards them. “Bye!”

“Sleep well little one.”

“Later, kid.”

Yuuri falls in step with Viktor who catches his hand, kissing his knuckles. “Did you have a nice day?”

Yuuri nods, smiling underneath the silks.

....

....

They’re getting ready for bed when Viktor remembers he was supposed to tell Yuuri something important.

“I told Lilia that our lesser mages were useless.”

Yuuri freezes in pulling his shirt on, half of his face is visible.

“And she said that’s a pretty common problem during a transition of power. Since we’re heading to the south, she recommended picking up mages in Stune or Xeot.”

Heart in his throat, Yuuri smooths the shirt down, “Anything else?”

“Uh, no?”

“You scared me, I thought...”

Viktor wraps his arms around Yuuri, kissing the top of his head. “None of that. So who were the two mages?”

Yuuri leans into Viktor’s chest. “Festus and Cirrus. I like them. They’re kind to me. Festus and their captain are trying to conceive.”

“Trying?” This was news to Viktor.

“It’s sad,” says Yuuri, “I hope they can work it out.”

“Hmm.” Viktor reaches over to the bedside table and pulls out a brush. “Can I?”

Yuuri smiles warmly, “How was your day?”

“Confusing. Gilbert and Vesta almost got into a fight over who would get to go north. Lilia stopped them, thankfully. We’re to be going instead.” As he brushes out Yuuri’s hair, Viktor gets lost in the details of their own deployment. He doesn’t realize Yuuri is falling asleep until the boy almost slides off the bed.

“Stay, please.” Yuuri grasps at his shoulders, gripping the material.

“No.” Viktor kisses his cheek, “Now go to sleep, darling.”

“We’ll never get an heir like this,” mumbles Yuuri incoherently. If anyone could get him pregnant it would be Viktor. He’s just _that_ handsome.

“Is that so?” Viktor presses another kiss to Yuuri’s chin. “Hm, I guess we’ll have to adopt.”

“ _Viktor_.”

“What? Isn’t that what Ruth did?” Viktor realizes his mistake when Yuuri pulls away. “I’m sorry. I—”

“It’s okay.”

Viktor pulls the comforter over Yuuri. It’s obviously _not_ okay but he doesn’t want to pressure Yuuri into forgiving him. Because Yuuri would feel obligated to forgive him and Viktor doesn’t want that. Instead he tucks Yuuri’s hair back, kissing his hairline. “I would never do such a thing,” whispers Viktor into his ear, “Not if it made you unhappy. Never.”

Yuuri nods stiffly, keeping his eyes glued to the far wall.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)

Yuuri watches in horror as Pink launches Festus through the air and he lands with a nasty crunch through the hay bale set up around their sparring arena.

Festus waves his hand, “I’m fine.”

Red blooms on the cowl covering his face.

In a nasally voice he says, “It’s just my nose!”

Yuuri clutches Cirrus’ arm, eternally thankful for the silencing spell set up around them is maintained by Circe. “I can’t believe that!”

Cirrus chuckles, patting his hand, “Pink is a terrifying force. If she ever deigns to teach you, it would be in your interest to put up with her eccentricities.”

They watch a few more minutes while Pink thrashes Festus. “Come on, Stars. Let’s walk around, before Lilia shows up to watch Circe spar.”

“O-okay.”

They wave to the other mages to meander away, Cirrus points out several spells woven into the lights, tents, and pathways of the camp to repel water, fire, and mud. “You have to do it the first day,” says Cirrus, “or else the spells don’t adhere well and you have to renew them more often.”

“Are there specific spells I should use or just use what I know?”

“If you’re comfortable enough you may use your own inventions, but I have some stored spells if you’d like to look.”

Grateful, Yuuri nods.

Cirrus’ captain is a friendly woman with short cropped blonde hair. “Is this Viktor’s mage?”

“They are. Stars this is Curcio.”

“It’s a pleasure,” Curcio smiles at Stars, leaning back in her chair, closing the book she’d been reading.

“I wanted to show them some of my spells for a few hours. Is there something you needed done today?”

Yuuri marvels at the change in Cirrus’ voice, usually they are cheery and warm but with Curcio Cirrus’ voice is politely distant. Respectful.

“Of course, my dear. I won’t interrupt. What about—”

Cirrus winces, “I forgot... It shouldn’t be a problem though.”

Curcio nods, going back to her book, “Go on dear, have fun.”

Cirrus pushes Yuuri towards the private bedroom before raising a silencing spell. “Kitten? Kitten where are you?”

Cirrus pulls off her cowl and Yuuri does the same, stuffing it into a pocket.

“What the _fuck_ do you want?”

“Come out and meet my friend.” Cirrus smiles at Yuuri uncertainly, dropping her voice to a whisper, “Lilia insisted we take this boy to the academy for mages when we leave.”

“Oh... Is he from Lilia’s camp?”

Cirrus nods in confirmation.

A small boy no older than twelve or so stomps out of a screened area, giant book under his arm.

Yuuri gasps.

He knows this boy.

“I... I have to go,” stammers Yuuri, yanking the cowl over his head.

Cirrus frowns, looking hurt, “Wait! Is it something I said?”

“N-no.” Yuuri stares at the boy, Cirrus looks at the kid too, puzzled at Yuuri’s reaction.

“Is it—”

Yuuri’s already out the door, running through Cirrus’ camp, skirting around Lilia’s and towards the tents and colors he’s known his whole life. Yuuri gathers his magic in his fist, shoving people out of his way when in danger of crashing into him. He blows past the front room, ignoring whoever might be in there.

Stumbling towards his trunk, Yuuri digs through it to the small palm-sized book he’s managed to keep hidden from Ruth and Yakov. Frantically he searches through the thin pages, shrugging off someone’s hand on his shoulder.

The photo Yuuri’s looking for is near the back, a small sepia-toned thing that’s a little blurry and very worn. Yakov’s holding a small child of about of about one in his arms. The child is staring at the camera blankly, clutching a toy.

It’s been more than ten years but there’s no mistaking it.

“Yuuri?”

Viktor squeezes his shoulders, trying to see over his shoulder. “Sweet bird, are you alright?”

“I’m fine! I just need a minute—”

The chiming bells indicate that they don’t have a minute.

“Viktor, Commander Baravnoskaya wants to speak with Stars. She’s here.”

Viktor freezes, “Yuuri, _what_ is going on?”

Yuuri quickly shuffles the photo back into his little book. “I...”

“Viktor! If you don’t come outside with that wretched mage of yours I’ll have Circe blow this whole tent to the ground.”

Viktor slips to his knees, hugging Yuuri from behind, “Love, why is Lilia here?”

Yuuri clutches at Viktor’s arms, “I... think I met Lilia and Yakov’s child.”

“Oh shit. And she knows?”

“I don’t know _how_ unless... Curcio told her. She was there when I freaked out. What do we do?”

Viktor’s breaths were fast and warm on his neck, Yuuri held very still in Viktor’s arms.

“NIkiforov!” Lilia barked from the other side of the door, “Now.”

Yuuri reluctantly pulled the cowl over his head, following on Viktor’s heels to the front room. He almost cried out, Circe was holding Mila and Chris frozen, only their roving eyes indicating that they couldn’t move.

“Release them,” said Lilia. Circe nodded and the bonds that held Mila and Chris dispersed, leaving them gasping for air, collapsing to their knees. “I appreciate loyalty,” said Lilia, eyes boring into Yuuri, “I don’t appreciate gossiping wretches.”

Yuuri forced himself not to recoil, remaining stone still by Viktor’s side. If Lilia commanded Circe to harm Viktor then Yuuri would—He would—

“I have had _enough_ ,” snapped Viktor, “I don’t know what grudge you held against Yakov or his mage but mine has nothing to do with it. All I know is Stars running into our tent panicking and the next thing I know _you’re_ here threatening us. What is going on?!”

Lilia goes very, very still, eyes searching Viktor’s face. “Everyone out, except you, _mage_.” She looks at Yuuri.

When Lilia glares at Viktor, Yuuri squeezes his fingers. “I’ll be right outside,” murmurs Viktor. He stops in front of Lilia, “Do not touch them.”

“You couldn’t stop me,” said Lilia tonelessly, “I am your superior, I am in charge of you remaining loyal to the crown. If I sense _any_ dissidence I will separate you two. Loyalty is necessary but beyond that? Treason.” She’s nose to nose with Viktor, “Your _first_ duty is to the crown, followed by the battalion, _then_ you may consider the mage’s well-being. They are not the delicate flowers portrayed in the insipid propaganda the queens disperse to the populace. They are _dangerous_ and must be kept in line. Do you understand, Captain Nikiforov?”

Viktor swallows. “I will be outside.”

Yuuri exhales, straightening his spine. He only has to survive for five minutes to convince Lilia he’s stupid and blind. Five minutes to convince her that he doesn’t know anything.

“Why did you run from Captain Curcio’s tent?”

Fuck. Yuuri swallows. He has to think up of something plausible. <<I thought-->>

He pauses.

<<I thought Cirrus was making an advance towards me.>>

Lilia hisses, “That’s it? Can anyone corroborate?”

He shakes his head no. <<We were alone.>>

Lilia’s fingers twitch, “I can have Circe hold a truth spell over you. Tell me the _truth_.”

<<Just ask Cirrus!>>

With a derisive snort, Lilia leaves.

Heart pounding, Yuuri dives back into the private area, lifting a silencing spell. He fumbles for the box Pink gave him, a small grey crystal falls out. Yuuri clutches it in his hands, thinking about Cirrus, the color of their hair, their crooked teeth, their—

“Stars.”

“Cirrus!” Yuuri breathes in relief, “Are you alone?”

“Yes, now tell me quickly.”

“I told her you—you—made a move on me.” Yuuri winces, realizing that Cirrus might now be the one in trouble.

“Oh thank the sky and wind. I can work with that. The kid is pissed and confused but has agreed to play along if—” Cirrus holds a finger up, “If you answer his questions.”

“Yes, yes. Fine. Tonight?”

“Tonight. Your stables?”

“Yes. Bye.”

Cirrus cuts the connection abruptly.

Yuuri stuffs the crystal back into the small box and flings it into his saddle bag, just as Viktor chimes the bells. “Stars, can we come in?”

Yuuri sighs, going over to the door. Viktor, Mila, and Chris file in staring at him.

Visibly restraining himself from rushing forward, Viktor eyes Yuuri uncertainly. “What was that about?”

There was no way he could tell them the truth, Viktor was already looking wild to do something and confront Lilia.

But he couldn’t lie.

Miserably Yuuri shook his head.

“Stars. This is important! What if Lilia comes back here?”

Mila grabbed Chris’ arm, “Maybe this is something best kept between the two of you. We’ll leave.”

“Yuuri, honey. Please let me help you.”

Yuuri took the cowl off, wringing it in his hands. “I don’t want you to confront Lilia about it. Please.”

“I won’t.” Viktor brought him over to the table, both of them sitting down, “I promise. I won’t.”


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Yuris finally meet! :)

Yuuri continues to pet the blue roan’s mane, more out of a nervous tic than to untangle the horse’s hair. He really ought to give her a proper name, the blue roan nuzzles into his shoulder, whuffing loudly.

Yuuri rubs her nose, swallowing the thick ball of spit in his throat.

A few people pass by, their conversations cut-off by their surprise, they bow and hurry away from Yuuri. Eventually the stables empty out and the only sounds Yuuri hears are the soft breathing and movement of horses.

The blue roan nips at the cowl over his face, trying to eat it.

“Not now,” whispers Yuuri, smiling despite his nerves, “Later. Okay?” The horse paws at the ground, ears flickering restlessly. They both flinch when someone slams into the stall door.

A little shadow draped in black.

Yuuri nudges the blue to the side, fumbling for the latch on the door.

He raises the silencing spell. “You can take the shroud off, it’s okay.”

Yuuri pulls his own cowl off to prove that it was safe.

“I don’t give a fuck,” mutters the boy, yanking his hat off, the heavy scarves catching on his neck. He scrabbles at the material, frown turning into a snarl as it tangles up with his long blonde hair.

“Here, let me help.”

“—Don’t touch me!” The boy spits, backing into a corner of the stall, “Just—Don’t!”

Yuuri hugs Blue, petting her neck and shoulder. “Sorry.”

“That your horse?”

“Yes.” Yuuri laughs quietly when the blue tries to eat his hair. “She’s my friend.”

“That’s pathetic.” The boy finally manages to free himself of the veil and scarf, throwing them onto the ground. “Can I pet her?”

“Yeah! Here, she loves apples.” Yuuri searches his pockets for the treats and holds them out to the boy, he snatches them from his palm.

Blue seems content to just sniff at the boy’s yellow hair for a while before cautiously lipping at the treat in his palm.

Yuuri can see how pleased the boy is, fighting to keep the smile off his face.

“You... um had questions?”

The boy scowls. “Lilia doesn’t tell me anything. She tells me that she saved me from drowning in the gutter. But... we look alike.” The boy clenches his fists, staring down Yuuri with a hateful glare. “You know something. Now spill or I’ll tell Lilia... you were gossiping.”

“I came here to confirm what I already know,” said Yuuri calmly, as sweat pooled on his neck and back. “You don’t have to threaten me. I came to try and help you.”

The boy spat into the ground. “Well?”

“You know Captain Feltsman?”

“Yeah. Lilia hates him.”

“He’s your father.”

“You’re lying.”

“No. I have a photo.”

“Show me!”

“I didn’t bring it with me, I’m not stupid.” Yuuri side steps the punch. “Hey! We’re running out of time.”

The boy growls, like a wild animal or spirit, “What was Yakov like?”

Yuuri shudders, “Awful. You’re lucky he’s dead. You could be executed if he found out Lilia kept you.”

Whatever energy or emotion holds the boy together dissipates, and he sags against the stall, “Damn it. I thought... I thought I could convince him to take me in. I thought I could trick him I’m not powerful enough to be a royal mage.”

“You tried to—“Yuuri can’t even imagine that, _lying_ about one’s power.

“Yeah, so?” The boy eyes him balefully, “If you weren’t such a moron, you’d done the same thing.”

“Probably.” Yuuri leans on Blue, “I could have stayed with my family if I had faked being a weak mage.” Yuuri wishes he could go home.

“So why don’t you run?”

Yuuri snorts. “Because I’m branded. And because I’m bound to Viktor. If I run they’ll use him to find me.”

The boy’s eyes go wide, wide , _wide_. “So it’s real? The soul bond.”

“Baravnoskaya has kept you isolated.” Yuuri mused at the boy’s lack of basic knowledge. “Ruth kept me alone too.”

“What do you—”

“But she’s left you with Cirrus.... Why?”

The boy leaps forward, shoving him to the ground. “What are you talking about?!”

Yuuri spits out hay. “What is Lilia trying to do with you? Is she trying to make you disappear?”

The boy freezes, his face a confusing mixture of fear and defiance. “I don’t know. She said I needed...” He swallows, looking scared. “She said I needed to be—” The boy whips his face away, muttering under his breath.

After facing Lilia earlier that day, Yuuri could guess. Lilia wanted another Circe. Quiet, loyal, and absolute obedience.

“A-anyway,” the boy turns back, “Tell me about Yakov since you’re— you know.” The boy grimaces when Yuuri shakes his head.

“He wasn’t nice.”

....

.....

Viktor was waiting for him with dinner and hot chocolate.

“How did it go?”

Yuuri sighed. “I don’t know. But the boy is definitely Yakov’s. I haven’t been yelled at so much in ages.” He smiles to himself, not noticing Viktor’s momentary frown. “Baravnoskaya is trying to make the connection between her and the boy disappear by having Curcio drop him off at the academy for royal mages.”

Yuuri allows Viktor to sit him down in the chair, but takes the fork to feed himself.

“It’s a good plan,” murmurs Viktor, “Especially if Lilia lied about where she found the kid,” Viktor looks for a confirmation from Yuuri.

“Yeah. And Cirrus doesn’t know Baravnoskaya well. So they don’t see the resemblance, or... don’t want to. It’s safer.”

“Bliss in ignorance.” Viktor sighs, “Did you learn anything useful for yourself?”

He notices Yuuri’s hesitation. “Nothing important just... things that don’t matter.”

“Are you sure it’s nothing I can help with?” Viktor brushes his fingers through Yuuri’s long fringe, wondering when the boy would ask for a haircut.

“No. If it was I would have told you, promise.” Yuuri’s eyes dart away and he swallows hard, hands darting to his water.

“Alright.” Viktor leaned in to kiss his cheek, “I’m going to bed. Let me know if you need anything.”

“I will,” Yuuri leaned into Viktor’s warmth for a moment, savoring Viktor’s gentle hand on his shoulder. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For... letting me lie to you.”

Viktor’s smile was tired, “Just know that I’m here for you.”


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :o

Yuuri tries hiding the next day but Festus and Pink come to bother him until he agrees to go out riding with them.

“So you’re gonna spill why you and Cirrus are in plights?” Festus passes over the bottle of whiskey which Yuuri only pretends to drink before handing it off to Pink.

“We’re not fighting,” says Yuuri, “We’re keeping our distance, to protect ourselves. It’s important.”

Festus and Pink share a long look. “Due to Baravnoskaya?”

When the bottle comes to him, Yuuri does take a drink. Eyes and sinuses smarting, Yuuri nods. “She hates Yakov and Elder-Stars. So now—”

“Now she’s got it in for you? What does she think—Oh spirits,” Pink laughs hysterically, “Baravnoskaya thinks you’re the spawn of Yakov and Elder-Stars!”

Festus chokes on his drink, “Oh fuck!”

“No!” Dismayed Yuuri just shakes his head, “No, she can’t possibly... Can she?”

Pink shrugs, but with a veil over her face Yuuri can’t see her expression. Damn.

“Never mind,” Pink waves a gloved hand, “It doesn’t fucking matter.”

Festus gasps, “Language!”

“Fuck you.”

“Name the time, dearest,” purrs Festus.

“Stop,” Yuuri groans, “Please. I’ve been punished enough.”

....

....

The screaming makes Yuuri flinch away. Curcio and Vesta are going at it while Lilia, Viktor, and Pink’s captain watch, looking supremely bored.

Pink’s arm slips discretely to the small of his back, bracing Yuuri. He takes a deep breath, and goes to stand by Viktor. This is the second time he’s found the captains arguing, and it never gets easier to witness.

Lilia silences them all simply by raising her hand. “Viktor will go south like planned. For years he’s begged for the chance to prove himself.” Lilia’s eyes linger on Yuuri. “We can all wish him good hunting. Curcio and Islas will go to the Black Mountain to reinforce the Deeps. Vesta will go east per the queens’ orders.”

Vesta sighs, “Really? Babysitting duty?”

Lilia smiles, “Consider it a vacation if you must. I’ll see you all tomorrow for your official orders.”

.......

.......

It’s their last day together and Yuuri feels weepy, Pink notices and keeps her arm wrapped around his shoulders.

“Cheer up, baby, we’ll get to hang out again soon enough. Lilia’s unlikely to keep you on the front lines for long since Viktor is green.”

Cirrus agrees with Pink’s assessment of the situation. “They’ll most likely give Captain Sibyl and Dog-Ear that range after Lilia is satisfied with Viktor’s and your work.”

“Dog-Ear?”

Festus glares at Cirrus, “Dog-Ear is an old mage, I love her but she’s mean as a bitch who’s had her pups stolen.”

Yuuri has never heard of the Dog-Ear lineage but then again, Ruth kept him very isolated. He wonders why Festus doesn’t want Dog-Ear brought up.

Their lunch is indulgent and decadent, thanks to Cirrus sweet talking her camp’s chefs.

“They love me because I delivered their last batch of squalling multiples. Five! Five children in one go.”

“Yikes, that woman’s innards must be beaten bloody.”

“ _Festus!”_ Circe clamps her hands over Yuuri’s ears. “There is a child present!”

“Bah!” Festus waves his hand, “I’m sure the kid has seen plenty, especially around Elder-Stars.”

Pink’s arms circle his chest and Yuuri leans into her hug. “That’s no reason to be so crude.”

Dinner is so rowdy that Yuuri ends up drinking far more than he did the first night and he’s delighted when Festus brings out a beautiful mother-of-pearl accordion to play music. He dances with all the women and then with Festus while Circe and Cirrus sing a tawdry song about a woman with three lovers.

Viktor has to carry him home.

........

........

Yuuri almost steps out into the front room, still feeling nauseated, when he hears Lilia’s distinctive clipped voice.

“Just consider it. Imagine the things you could do with a mage who isn’t inept. The whole Stars lineage is a disgrace to the whole concept of royal mages. The Queens should have struck out that lineage with Elder-Stars’ death.”

Yuuri grips the material of the door, wanting to crawl back into bed.

“Just because Stars is young doesn’t mean they’re inept. I’ve grown close to them and I know we’ll make a great team.”

“You don’t have time to waste if you want to become a commander before thirty. Stars is a dead weight. Have you even looked at the list of available royal mages I sent you?”

Yuuri throws himself into the front room, trembling and furious. <<Viktor already said he only wants me!>>

“Stars! Go back—”

Snarling, Lilia grabs the cane that Mila had left in the corner and throws it at Viktor. “I will not be spoken to like that!”

<<You won’t separate us!>>

Viktor grips his shoulder, “Stars, get back inside.”

<<No!>> Yuuri will make sure Lilia understands that he can’t be separated from Viktor, _won’t_ be separated from Viktor.

From her belt, Lilia releases a short billy club and lunges at Yuuri, landing a single heavy blow across his face.

Yuuri finds his vocal cords gripped tight, through his blurry vision he sees Circe’s trembling hand clutched in a fist.

“Lilia no!”

“I will _kill_ the mage if that’s what it takes for you to understand that you will _not_ act like this!”

“It’s not Stars’ fault that you got pregnant!” Viktor throws himself over Yuuri, “That boy you handed off to Cirrus... You said you found him in the city, but that’s a lie, isn’t it? He’s _yours_ , from Yakov’s line. And unless you want me to spread that around... I suggest you leave me and Stars alone.”

The absolute stillness in the tent terrifies Yuuri, he doesn’t dare move.

“You can’t prove that.”

“Stars knows more than you think. He is a reputable witness to Yakov and Elder-Stars’ movements.”

Viktor twitches when Lilia lifts her arm, but it’s only to return the billy club to its cradle.

“Your loyalty to _that_ man has blinded you. This mage,” Lilia spits at Yuuri, “Isn’t worth anything. If the rumors of Elder-Stars treatment towards the child are true then Elder-Stars would have delivered it to the academy. You think you can protect what shreds of Yakov are left?”

A thunderbolt of realization hits Viktor: Lilia thinks Yuuri is Ruth and Yakov’s child, and the only reason he’s so adamant about keeping Yuuri is that it’s Yakov’s blood. He can use this! He can grovel for Yuuri’s sake.

“I... don’t know what to say.” Viktor cradles Yuuri to his chest, feeling the shallow in and out of breaths. He doesn’t dare straighten up, keeping their position curled up on the floor. Lilia would have to strike _him_ to reach Yuuri.

“You can relinquish the mage!”

“I... can’t. Won’t.”

“Even in death, Yakov inspires such loyalty,” says Lilia bitterly. “Fine. Consider the matter laid to rest. Keep your two-bit mage, I hope they don’t kill you in battle with their incompetence that only such a union could create.”

“I accept the consequences.”

Lilia snorts and leaves.

But Circe remains behind.

She approaches slowly, motioning to Yuuri.

Carefully, they peel back the layers of silk.

Viktor freezes at the splashes of blood and lost-hazed look in Yuuri’s eyes. “Stars. Darling. Oh gods...”

<<We need medical supplies. Stars will need to rest.>>

 _“_ Anything in particular?”

<<Bandages. Ice. Stitches are the primary things of importance.>>

Circe waits until Captain Viktor leaves the tent before twisting the scarves out of her face and peeling her gloves off. “Stars. Darling boy. Can you hear me?”

“Mmm, ouch...”

“I know, sweetie. Your skin is split but not to worry. Viktor will be back soon, okay?”

Circe smooths her silks back over herself when Viktor re-enters but doesn’t put her gloves back on. She thoroughly washes her hands and cleans Stars up, the cut is small and only bleeds profusely for a few minutes. It’s the traumatic blow that worries her.

<<Keep him quiet, a nap.>>

“I thought that concussions—”

<<His brain needs to rest to recover. He needs quiet and absolutely no movement for a day or two.>>

Circe’s heart warms at Captain Viktor’s gentle handling of Stars, how carefully the boy is carried to bed. And she also notes that he keeps his eyes firmly away from her, conscious of her bare arms and trying to be discreet.

She washes her hands of blood before reapplying her gloves.

<<I’m glad that Stars is with you. Please hold on to him tightly, we’ve all grown very fond of him and my heart fills with light at how much you obviously care for him.>>

Viktor blushes, “Yes, well. I love him.”

Circe hesitates before making her decision. <<If I hear of Lilia making any moves against you two, I will contact Stars.>>

Viktor gapes at her. “No, I couldn’t possibly ask that of you. Please don’t put yourself in danger.”

<<I am very clever, don’t worry for me. Just take care of Stars.>>

“If I hear anything that would jeopardize your own safety I will share it with Stars as well. I am eternally grateful for your kindness.”

Circe nods and retreats.

“ _Viktor,_ I’m sorry.” Yuuri is trying to get out of bed.

“There’s nothing to apologize for. Now back into bed. If I watch over you while you sleep do you promise to be good?”

Viktor chuckles at Yuuri’s dopey smile.

He ends up snuggled up with Yuuri’s head on his lap, staring down at the dark purple bruise starting to spread across Yuuri’s forehead.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last update for this week, see you next time!  
> Also, I feel like I should apologize to Lilia for making her such a scoundrel D:

Rocci comes to inspect Yuuri a few hours later after receiving a special dispensation from Lilia. Both Circe and Cirrus stand over Rocci, holding a light memory spell over the medic.

“Look over my shoulder,” instructs Rocci, shining a light into his eyes. She frowns, clicking her tongue. “Pupils are slow to react.” She then sweeps her fingers, coated in fragile threads of magic over Yuuri’s head. Her frown deepens and she shoots Viktor a _look_. “I’m finished here. _Do_ be careful with my brain. I’ve spent years cultivating it.”

Circe smiles wryly and squeezes Rocci’s shoulder. It’s a deep breach in protocol but no one says anything since Rocci won’t remember the touch.

Circe and Cirrus lift the spell causing Rocci to go into a light stupor, and Viktor helps her out to the front room. It takes a large pitcher of icy water and a warm glass of wine for Rocci to come back to life, dark brown eyes sparkling with their usual mischief.

“Ah, everything is clear except a few precious details.” She rubs her temples. “Is this the first time Stars has suffered a blow to the head—Oh”

Stars, wrapped in a light scarf, emerges and sits down next to Viktor, searching for his hand.

<<What’s the damage, please.>> Yuuri writes in the air in dark blue script.

“The truth.” Viktor says quietly to Rocci.

 _“_ Very well then. Stars has extensive scarring across his brain. Frankly I’m surprised you aren’t having fits. I recommend immediately starting treatment.”

“What sort of treatment?”

“It’s something that Stars can do by themselves without my intervention although I’d like to know if the treatment is working. It’s a spell. I don’t have the talent for imbuing spells into crystals, though--”

<<Circe and I can each imbue a crystal with the memory spell that will have three uses.>> Cirrus writes in her blinding green.

Viktor grins brilliantly, “Thank you!” He rubs Stars knuckles, they’ve all forgotten he isn’t wearing half of his usual silks.

It doesn’t seem to matter.

Viktor leaves the mages and Rocci alone to personally supervise the last of the packing. They were supposed to leave in the morning, but everyone had made excuses to linger. Now there’s no excuse and the first leg of the journey for Stune must start before dinner. There are six small cities within a hundred kilometers of Stune that feed the metropolis’ four magic schools.

It’s the perfect place for Yuuri to find new lesser mages that he can work with.

Ten minutes later he sees Rocci emerge, he becomes nervous when the other mages don’t emerge. Everything is packed, his and Yuuri’s horses are saddled and Chris is waiting for them.

He’s forced to chime the bell in his own tent and wait an agonizing thirty seconds before someone pulls the flap back for him to enter.

“We were trying to figure out the treatment,” says Yuuri, apology in every line of his face, Viktor can tell he’s only barely holding himself back. “I’m having a bit of trouble with it.”

Cirrus writes, <<The injury itself is impeding him from doing the treatment correctly. These two crystals have only three uses each, after that... Stars will need to perform the treatments himself.>>

Yuuri is the only one not wearing silks and he bows his head to hide the tears that drip down his nose. Viktor can _hear_ how hard Yuuri is not apologizing.

“That’s alright. We’ll figure something out. Thank you, friends.”

Both Cirrus and Circe seem taken aback by Viktor’s words but they squeeze Yuuri’s shoulder in farewell.

“Yuuri... Tender beating of my heart.” Viktor kneels in front of the boy, reaching up for the mage’s face.

“I think Lilia was right.” Yuuri leans into Viktor’s hand that cups his face. “I’m useless. I’m damaged and I won’t do you any good.” Yuuri pulls away from Viktor’s touch, as much as he’s grown to need it. He can’t tie himself to someone like Viktor. “You deserve so much better than me. How can you stand it? How can you keep lying to yourself that we’re a perfect match? I’m too young. I’m naive. I’m _damaged_.”

“Maybe you’re right,” hums Viktor, reaching with both hands to hold Yuuri’s shoulders. “But do you think I’m perfect? How can _you_ stand to be with someone like me? I’m weak. I follow rules without question. I focus on making _others_ proud instead of doing the right thing. I never questioned your treatment. But _you_. You’re so incredibly smart and ask questions I would never dream to even think about. You’re so, so brave, Yuuri.”

Yuuri sniffs in lieu of answering. “You’re not weak. You’re kind and believe the best in people. I’ve never...” Yuuri’s nose was getting chapped from so much crying. “No one has ever loved me. No one ever even liked me. You’re the first...”

Viktor kisses his tears away. “Circe and Cirrus seem very taken with you. You know why? Because you’re so interesting and compassionate. You understand the world can be ugly and try to fix it. There’s nothing about you that I would change. Only how others have treated you.”

Yuuri understands what Viktor is saying and can even agree with his words and feelings, but his heart is going to take some time to catch up. For so long he’s had to carefully guard his emotions to prevent more damage than necessary. But maybe Viktor has suffered in a similar way, having to shield his heart for so long. After all, it was the one thing Viktor asked for, trust. Trust in return for truth. An equal exchange for what they craved most.

He catches Viktor’s face and kisses his pointy nose.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back!!!  
> I'm really glad you're all enjoying my story. :D

It takes two weeks to reach Stune and in that time they lose three mages and their families who quietly sneak away in the night.

Yuuri doesn’t let himself worry about it because Viktor doesn’t seem worried about it. Still... Yuuri worries about it. He only manages to pluck up the courage to ask about it when they’re passing through the arched gates of the city, leaving the rest of the battalion outside the city gates under Chris’ command.

<<Viktor?>> Yuuri moves his horse slightly in front so Viktor will see.

“Yes?”

<<Are you worried about the mages who have gone? Their licenses are still active.>>

“I know. And it’s a bit worrisome but Mila has compiled reports and testimonies of the mages’ abandonment, signed by several people. Did you only now think of that?”

Yuuri shakes his head. <<If you weren’t worried then why should I be? I just got curious how you handled it since you never said anything.>>

This answer pleases Viktor greatly, he rubs his nose, trying to dispel the heat he feels. It was the one thing he needed most of all, knowing that Yuuri trusted him.

It gave him purpose.

“We have some time before your initial audience, let’s eat!”

Yuuri eagerly agrees and when Viktor asks what kind of food he wants, Yuuri immediately requests seafood.

Because he’s a captain, Viktor is immediately shown to a private room of the restaurant. They enjoy lunch immensely, hand feeding each other bites of shrimp and tightly rolled scrolls of spinach.

Viktor is feeling like he’s walking on clouds by the time they leave the restaurant. Yuuri had propped his legs on Viktor’s lap as they talked through dessert, another show of trust, Yuuri foregoing all propriety. If Lilia had seen them she would have whipped them both.

Viktor pushes the ugly thought aside in favor of helping Yuuri mount his horse.

“Have you named her yet?”

Yuuri shakes his head.

_“Yuuri.”_

Yuuri kicks him lightly in the shoulder, they’re in public.

“Oops. It’s just.... really? You’ve had her for a month.”

Yuuri rubs his chin. “I’ve been calling her Blue.”

Viktor gasps and looks around, but he doesn’t look mad, just uneasy so Yuuri relaxes.

<<Sorry.>> He scribes into the air.

“I started it. But no matter. Blue is kind of a common name.”

<<You named your horse Carrots, you have no room to talk.>>

Viktor chuckles and kisses Blue’s neck. “Blue it is.

“Wait.”

Viktor throws him a disapproving look.

“Blue Heart. Please.”

Viktor melts. His little mage asks for such small things and always looks so nervous about it, Viktor hopes that one day Yuuri’s confidence would grow.

“It’s perfect.”

....

....

A dead-eyed manservant greets them at the entrance to the school, “You’re late.”

“We were delayed by important business,” replies Viktor smoothly, holding Blue’s reins while Yuuri dismounts.

The manservant snorts, Yuuri has to squeeze Viktor’s arm when he sees the edge of Viktor’s mouth curling into something sharp. Then it softens and Viktor turns to kiss Yuuri’s face through the silks and scarves.

The manservant leads them through several courtyards and into a gloomy building with tiny windows, situating themselves in a large room that contain different magical utensils. Yuuri runs his hands across empty scrying bowls and several chiseled runes whose carvings briefly glow when Yuuri touches the rough stone.  

They’re alone for the moment.

“You don’t need to stay,” murmurs Yuuri, not bothering with a silencing spell.

“Do you want me to go?” He parts the silks so he can brush the backs of his fingers along Yuuri’s forehead, the horrible bruise from Lilia’s blow is yellow and dispersed. But the damage underneath lingers.

It terrifies Viktor, he asks Rocci why the effects are only _now_ appearing. She had been slow to reply that a feather was enough to tip the scales, and the blow Yuuri had sustained was no feather. Lilia had broken the dam on Yuuri’s symptoms.

“I don’t want to waste your time. I’ll be here probably until dinner time and for several few days. You should go out and enjoy the city.”

Yuuri was politely telling him to leave.

“You never waste my time, but if you _do_ want to show me something, just tug.” Viktor tugs on the bond-line between them for emphasis.

The kiss Yuuri gives him is warm, fingers brushing along Victor’s jawline.

Again, Viktor is reminded of how _little_ Yuuri asks for. Truth, respect, for Viktor’s affection. It’s nothing. It’s everything.

Viktor returns the kiss. Softening it into something warm and tender.

“I’ll be back,” he promises. Yuuri’s eyes are shining.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im back! It's been a bit because I decided to restructure the story so I had to juggle things around. Now I feel the stroy flows much more smoothly than before.

Viktor rides out to meet Stune’s ruling lord, Dani, a young man preparing to get married within the month. Despite the young lord’s busy schedule he makes time to meet with Viktor and walk around the estate gardens. The second thing out of the young lord’s mouth after a polite greeting is asking whether Viktor is happy being married.

“How did you know—Well I suppose you didn’t know beforehand, but what makes it tolerable?” Dani wiggles his shoulders, “Did you bond over the sex? Your work? How do you connect with someone you hardly know? I feel like one wrong move will set a terrible precedent for our future!”

“Well...”

Despite having to take a terribly long gasping breath, Dani talks right over Viktor.

“You _are—that—_ Captain Nikiforov, right? Once apprenticed to Captain Feltsman? Tied to the Stars lineage?”

Taken aback at having his life so succinctly summarized, Viktor nods.

“What did you do to ensure a good match? Or rather...create a peaceful marriage?” Dani sighs, dragging his fingers through long brown hair. “How did you know it would work?”

“We didn’t.” said Viktor carefully, “But we were both committed to being kind to one another, respecting one another. I bet your fiancée is feeling just as nervous to make this work, just as nervous at being treated badly or ending up in a bad situation.”

Dani nods. “And all that worked out for you, then?”

“Nothing is perfect,” Viktor shrugs. _But that’s what makes Yuuri’s smiles taste so sweet, knowing I truly deserve them, that he really feels happy with me._ “But yes.”

Dani chews his lip then seems to realize that they’re talking about something intimate. “I apologize, you probably don’t wish to be privy to such  knowledge.”

“I’m glad to listen,” Viktor chuckles, “I was just as nervous.”

The lord smiles gratefully, “Well, _I’m_ glad to invite you to a small dinner that I will be hosting in three days; you and your mage.”

Apologetically, Viktor spreads his hands out, “Stars is currently at the central mage school, I’m not sure if—”

“Ah!” Dani preens, “I’m quite proud of how my family has improved the city’s schools. I appreciate your patronage. If your mage is too tired then by all means invite another guest.”

“So gracious!” Despite maintaining only a polite demeanor, Viktor wanted to vibrate with joy at the devilish idea that popped into his head. Maybe Yuuri wouldn’t accept Viktor’s proposal but maybe....maybe Yuuri would go along with Viktor’s crazy, wonderful idea!

He couldn’t make it to the mage school fast enough.

.....

.....

Viktor finds a less than cheerful Yuuri who is exhausted and moody.

His dear little mage pouts the whole way to the bed and breakfast they’ll be boarding at for the next week and can’t be bothered with Viktor’s fluttering and doting.

 _That’s alright,_ Viktor thinks, hoping the crazed feeling in his stomach doesn’t reach his face. _Yuuri’s been working very hard, he deserves to relax!_

He tells Yuuri so, excitedly, and the boy sighs hugely, irritation zinging through the bond-line. But that only stiffens Viktor’s resolve. They stop at a small shop, a few blocks from the bed and breakfast, Yuuri waiting outside with the horses.

Confusion and irritation grow through the bond-line, Viktor emerges from the shop and tries to reach for Yuuri, but the boy flinches back, making Viktor snap back. Grief and self-remorse bite at the bond between them and Viktor winces.

“What would you like for dinner?”

Yuuri shrugs, gloved hands tightening so much on Blue’s reigns that she prances, arching her neck. Yuuri immediately releases the tight hold and Blue, ever forgiving and sweet, only side steps in response.

“I’ve got a gift for you,” Viktor speaks softly, eyes off Yuuri. “You’re doing something new, something hard. And you deserve to pamper yourself. To let _me_ pamper you.”

A curious thrum works its way through the bond.

“It’s not sexual,” says Viktor flatly.

The thrum immediately dies, followed by a wave of intense displeasure.

The owner of the bed and breakfast greets them excitedly, fluttering and talking so fast her words are blurring into one another. She shows them to a first floor suite with a bathroom that spills directly onto an overgrown rose garden with bushes at least four meters high.

Viktor drops all of his purchases onto the bed, going to draw a bath for Yuuri. He throws open the double doors that lead out to the garden, liking the placement of the tub directly in front of the doors, giving a lovely view of the garden.

With fresh winter air blowing into the steamy room, Viktor is satisfied Yuuri will enjoy his bath. He strides into the bedroom and points at Yuuri. “Strip!” He grabs the satchel of purchases, Yuuri still pouting but following on his heels.

In spite of being exhausted, the churning bath and view of the garden tempt Yuuri. So he strips.

“What are you doing?” Yuuri shivers as the cold air hits his sweaty skin, idly wondering if the place has any peeping toms, figuring that it’s Viktor’s problem if there are. He doesn’t give a fuck.

Yuuri wants to laugh because Viktor is _very pointedly_ not looking at him, his nonchalance screams of rigidity and Yuuri softens.

“Can I get in? It’s cold.” His toes curl and the fine hair on his legs stands out.

“Yes, yes. Just be careful, it may be a little hot.”

The water is _very_ hot but Yuuri groans in appreciation.

“Smells weird.”

Viktor holds out a little bottle and Yuuri inspects it, “Huh. Sesame oil.”

“It’s suppose to soothe the mind and nourish the skin. I also got this. Give me your hand.”

Yuuri puts the little bottle down and gives himself over to Viktor who soothes thick, honeyed oil over his hands. He studiously works away at the muscles of his forearms and wrists. At first Yuuri is too entranced by Viktor’s focus but halfway into Viktor working his second hand, Yuuri melts, resting his chin on the side of the porcelain tub.

He watches Viktor work the oil into his skin, sighs happily. “I never dreamed this.”

Viktor lifts his pale blue eyes, “Hm?” He asks sweetly.

“I always wondered what you would be like. I ‘knew’ you would be like Yakov. I was afraid you would... be worse. But I didn’t think...” Yuuri smiles sadly, “we could be like this. Happy.”

Viktor cups his face with greasy fingers, “I will never hurt you.”

Yuuri lets his eyes fall closed. “Ruth would have slapped me for saying the bath smelled weird.”

Viktor is working the knuckles of his hand into boneless putty, pauses. “Were you testing me?”

“I... No?” Yuuri opens his eyes, the rich brown of his gaze dampened by fear. “I can’t help what I say when I’m very tired, things just... pop out. Usually I’d put a silencing spell on myself. But you said you wouldn’t hit me so. Um.”

Viktor focuses on Yuuri’s very pretty nails, buffing his cuticles until they were smooth. Yuuri bit his nails down to the quick, the edges were raw and looked painful. Finally he looked up. “Thank you for trusting me. I know it’s hard. And it’s okay to make mistakes. Not that you made a mistake today!” Viktor quickly corrects himself when Yuuri’s face scrunches. “Just—When we _do_ make a mistake! It’s okay. We’ll be _okay_.”

Yuuri nodded at him, eyes wide. “Yakov use to say—”

“Mistakes showed the enemy your weakness. Yuuri, my love...”

The boy squirms happily, smiling at Viktor’s playful tone. “We’re not enemies. We’re married. We’re a team.”

“Oh.”

Viktor squeaks when Yuuri wraps strong arms around him, pulling him in for a wet, fragrant kiss. Once, twice. Viktor laughs, craning his mouth away. “Your bath!”

Yuuri ignores him, pressing his face to the open collar of Viktor’s shirt.

A persistent knocking at the door forces Viktor to peel himself away from Yuuri. “I’ll be right back.”

“Apologies for—” Chris eyes Viktor’s mussed hair and kiss-red lips, how his shirt hangs open and damp. “interrupting something clearly important.”

Viktor grins and steps out of the room, pulling the door closed. He buttons up his shirt and rolls down his sleeves. “What’s the problem.”

“There are bandits attacking a small caravan a few miles from us. Our scouts brought me reports, and I _did_ send out a squad but I thought you’d want to get involved asap.”

“You’re right. Thank you.” Viktor ducks back into the room.


	26. Chapter 26

Viktor rushes to the closet, pulling out his heavy coat.

Viktor goes into the en suite and crouches by the tub, “I have to go help some people who are being attacked by bandits. It’s nothing serious—Yuuri!”

Viktor stops the boy from climbing out of the tub. “No, honey. Sit. It’s nothing serious. The fighting will be over by the time I get there. Probably.”

“But—” Yuuri sighs. Viktor is being truthful with him, he doesn’t want to spoil that. “Are you sure?”

“Positive. Stay here. Relax. I’ll be back within a few hours.”

“I’ll try.” Yuuri murmurs against Viktor’s lips.

Viktor makes sure to close the door firmly, satisfied with how the lock closed on the inside, making sure no one can accidentally walk in. And if someone manages to break in? Well Yuuri _was_ a fully fledged royal mage.

He follows Chris out of the bed and breakfast.

“I’m glad your young mage worked out for you.”

Viktor snapped. “Chris. Just because I confided in you doesn’t mean you get to expose Stars like that.”

“There’s no one around, but noted. My comment still stands. I didn’t think you’d get so attached to someone you barely know. And so fast.”

Viktor is surprised to find Carrots already saddled, his anger at Chris mellows. “I suppose part of the charm is that they need me.”

“Hm. Codependency isn’t—”

“ _Why_ must you twist my words around? I meant that I’m glad _we_ got married. Stars is fragile. I don’t know what would have happened to them with someone else.” Viktor wishes he could explain how _he_ wants to be responsible for helping Yuuri heal. But that sounds like an ego-trip and VIktor doesn’t want to examine it too closely.

Chris also looks like he wants to laugh.

“Why do I even talk to you?”

“Because you have no one else to talk with!”

“Well thank the gods that’s changed.”

Chris tries to pout but it doesn’t fit around his lecherous smirk.

.......

.......

Yuuri lounges in the bath until the water grows cold, to the same temperature as the air coming in from the garden. He revels in the goose bumps that travel up his legs and arms, how his back tightens in the sudden chill. He considers crawling into the small bed but the roses in the garden smell too good for him to resist.

Wearing nothing but his skin, Yuuri steps out of the tub and goes out to the garden.

There’s a small winding path that edges the tiny garden Yuuri enjoying the rough flagstones under his soft soles. He plunges his fingers into the soft petals of the roses, his oiled hands coming up golden with pollen. The dust is tasteless except for the miniscule amount of magic. Yuuri is pleased to taste a privacy and protection spell on the roses.

He investigates the thorns that line the roses like little soldiers, the bite feels exciting. Yuuri presses his thumb into the sharp edge of one, until his skin goes white and taut before finally breaking.

The pain is different than when Ruth or Yakov would hit him.

It was similar to the pain from a fall or after a hard day of work, when his muscles would tremble from fatigue.

He presses his tongue to the small injury and walks across a strip of gravel to the grass. Both feel good on his soft feet.

The grass waves in the night wind seeming to call Yuuri’s name with each twist. Yuuri falls to his knees on the grass, a strange wash of emotion coursing through him. He whispers nonsense to the grass, small fragments of magic that slip out like water from a wellspring.

It would probably be wise to turn in for the night. But the grass smells so good and feels wonderful so Yuuri folds his elbows, relaxing his knees until his belly is flush with the ground.

“This is nice.”

His voice is too loud, frightening the grass, so he murmurs quietly to the plants who reach for him, cradle his skin.

If Yuuri turns his head just so he can see the moon swimming across the sky.

Time passes. Or maybe it stops. Yuuri isn’t sure. His body is too heavy for movement.

He wishes Viktor would carry him back inside.

As if summoned, Yuuri hears familiar boot steps creaking across the floor boards of the ensuite.

“Yuuri...? Where are you?”

The grass is frightened of Viktor’s voice and Yuuri doesn’t want to add to it.

Viktor’s hands are warm on his shoulders and Yuuri shivers.

It breaks the moment of moonlight and silence.

“Yuuri!”

“ ‘m, here,” he replies, cranky, voice hoarse.

Viktor turns him around, panic in his eyes, hands sliding down his sides.


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so naughty viktor!!! ;)

_I’ve frightened Viktor_ , Yuuri’s thoughts lag behind events, he smiles up at his darling husband, trying to reassure him, _Maybe now he’ll punish me like I deserve_. _I didn’t mean to. I didn’t mean to._

Finally Yuuri finds his voice, “You can use the poker in the fireplace,” It’s a well-meant suggestion. The poker would hurt and Viktor would be satisfied, just like Ruth. “Would hurt lots.”

Yuuri frowns when Viktor looks stricken, gasping when cold salty tears fall on his face.

Viktor is crying!

“I’m sorry!” Yuuri surges up, mind snapping out of the trance. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it. Please don’t listen.” Yuuri hugs Viktor tightly, feeling awful. There’s anguish and desperation on their bond-line. Yuuri bites the thick material of Viktor’s military coat to keep from sobbing.

When he speaks, Viktor’s voice is thick with emotion. “Were you in a trance? There was so much magic in your eyes.”

“I don’t know,” replies Yuuri, “I think there might be old spells here. That plus the full moon. Plus I’m not wearing any clothes. I wasn’t _thinking_. I’m sorry.”

Viktor pulls back out of their tight embrace. “I know there are going to be times it’s hard to believe things are different. That you’re safe now but please...” Viktor’s eyes well up with more tears. “Don’t you _ever_ say anything like that again to me. Don’t—Don’t ever suggest how to hurt you.”

Stunned, Yuuri nods. “You were upset so I thought—"

“Just because _I’m_ upset doesn’t mean that you’re going to be hurt.” Viktor is shaking and Yuuri realizes that Viktor was _already_ upset about something before finding Yuuri buck-ass naked and unresponsive on the grass.

He leans forward, resting his forehead on Viktor’s chest. “I understand.”

They sit huddled together until Viktor feels Yuuri’s shivers. “Let’s get inside, little bird.”

“I... I don’t think my legs work right now.”

“Alright.”

First they try to get Yuuri up but sure enough, Yuuri’s knees give out. “I don’t know what happened. I don’t know what kind of magic lies under here.”

Viktor grunts, swinging Yuuri up.

Once on the bed, Yuuri manages to dress himself in the warm pajamas Viktor gives him, his legs still feel like jelly so he just rolls around until he manages.

Viktor sets up a bed on the ground but joins Yuuri on the large bed once he’s done. Viktor arranges Yuuri between his legs, hugging Yuuri to his chest.

“Did it go that badly with the lesser mages that you had to lie naked on the grass?”

Yuuri leaned back, gingerly testing how he fit against Viktor’s chest. Viktor kissed the back of Yuuri’s head.

“No. I managed to find several mages I for sure will invite to join us, but obviously they’ll have to do well in the remaining tests.”

“That’s great!”

A small squeal works out of Yuuri when Viktor tickles up his sides.

“N-No!” Yuuri shrieks, laughing, trying to stop Viktor. “Please!”

“Only since you were so polite,” said Viktor, relenting his attack and wrapping Yuuri up in his arms. “But really. You worried me, darling.” He kisses the tender skin of Yuuri’s neck.

“I don’t know what happened. I’m sorry for scaring you. I just...” Yuuri scratched his cheek. “I don’t know.”

“Well I’m glad you’re safe.” Viktor kisses his neck again.

Something must have happened for Viktor to be lingering in bed with him. “I’m glad you’re safe too.”

“I’d never leave you.”

Yuuri’s heart thrums happily when Viktor whispers that, and when the arms around him tighten.

“Will you stay?”

“For a little while,” replies Viktor, “And then you can have the bed. We’ve been invited by the prince to dinner in a few days. Would you like to go?”

Yuuri strokes the back of Viktor’s long thin hands that are tucked under his sides. “How long do we have to stay?”

“Not long if we’re not having fun.”

Yuuri takes a breath, but just exhales.

“You know... I was thinking I might leave my royal mage behind and go with a friend.”

Viktor expects it when Yuuri pulls away. He can’t help but tease Yuuri.

“I was thinking of bringing my dear, very good friend—Yuuri.”

Viktor chuckles at Yuuri’s wide-eyed stare, mouth half open, words attempt and fail to come out.

Viktor waggles his eyebrows. “Do you think my friend Yuuri will want to come? I’ve bought him a very fetching suit to wear.”

After a few more gasps and Yuuri grasping at his own hair, Yuuri leans forward. “You’re crazy!”

“Wow.”

“I mean it! You can’t just... Say things like that! It’s... treason!”

“Are you going to turn me in little mage?”

Yuuri scowls, “You know I’m not.”

“I know,” Viktor pats his head. “Well? Do you want to go?”

“I can’t go without my hat!”

Viktor sits up, bringing his knees to his chest. “You won’t be going as Stars though.”

“But— I _can’t_.” Yuuri pulls back, shallow erratic breaths destroying the calm from before.

Viktor shrugs, stroking the back of Yuuri’s hand. “It was only an idea. And after finding you outside, naked in the garden. I think it’s a _necessary_ idea. Besides. Who would recognize you?”

Yuuri can’t think of a single thing to say which must amuse Viktor because he grins broadly and kisses his forehead.

“Just think about it.” Yuuri watches him climb out of bed, extinguish the lamps and climb into the small bed on the ground. “Go to sleep Yuuri, we’ll talk about it tomorrow.”

Yuuri lets himself fall back, he scooches to the edge of the bed. Unsure, he licks his lips. “Viktor? Were you serious?”

“I am.”

Yuuri rolls onto his back. “You’re crazy.”

Viktor’s muffled laughter helps Yuuri relax enough to drift asleep.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also I want to make clear that no one is supposed to know anything about yuuri, not age or gender. I only bring this up because although I've tried to keep pronouns neutral when others are talking about yuuri, I'm sure I'll slip up sooner or later and i do not want you all to be confused. It's a typo.


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for dropping so many updates so soon and then going off the grid but my work schedule doesn't allow me to do it in a more measured manner.
> 
> Feast or famine! ٩ (`皿 ´҂) ง
> 
> Next time we'll get a chapter from yuuri's pov :o :D

Viktor doesn’t bring up the topic of going out without silks again, but he knows Yuuri is thinking about it. When he drops Yuuri off at the magic school Yuuri squeezes his fingers.

Viktor heads out of the city, it’s boring without Yuuri. He heads out to where the battalion has camped out. Three of the caravans are still fully packed, no one is eager to unload every scrap when they’ll just have to pack it back up by the end of the week.

He finds a small girl still in her child-hood trousers and waves two small copper coins, “I’ve got payment for a speedy messenger.”

The girl does her best salute, Viktor grins. “Please find Sergeant Mila and Lieutenant Chris. As well as Mels and a few scribes. Do you understand?”

The girl is young, she might not. But with how she’s hungrily eyeing the coins, Viktor doesn’t doubt the girl will figure it out.

“Yessir!”

“Good.” Viktor hands over the coins.

Viktor retires to the temporary command table which is in Chris’ tent. While he waits for everyone to assemble, Viktor writes a list of things that he camp needs repaired or replaced.

Mila arrives first.

“How are things with the lesser mages going?” Viktor squeezes her arm in greeting.

“We’ve given severance packages to the remaining eight mages. All but three were happy and those I threatened.”

“With what?”

“Stars left me some notes on why they didn’t like a particular mage. So I read those out. I threatened them with bad references.”

Viktor chuckled. “That was smart of Stars.”

“It was,” Mila sighed, “Captain—”

“Uh-oh,” Viktor pushed back until his chair tipped back on two legs. He hooked his toes into the lip of the table, holding himself in the air. “Whenever someone uses my rank I get nervous.”

“I’ve been talking with the servants that were closest with Elder-Stars.” Mila goes to fiddling with the various bracelets that decorate her arms, hundreds of charms and tiny crystals that ward off evil and bad luck. “I think your Stars was severely verbally and physically abused.”

Viktor crosses his arms and staring at the space between his boot and table when he momentarily manages the small miracle of balancing his weight. Then the chair tips forward and he lands on the front legs hard. “Is that so?”

“Yes. I was investigating.”

“Is that what you call it? I would have chosen the word: snooping.”

Mila winces. “I’m trying to help.”

Viktor huffs, dismayed. “You _tried_ starving Stars.”

“Yes, I know! And I feel like a monster.” Mila shivers, “The stories the servants told me... It’s awful.”

“I don’t want to hear it,” snapped Viktor.

“You need to ask Stars—” Mil continued to insist, eyes wide. “Please. Demote me if you want for insubordination but Stars needs _help_. They probably need medical attention for old, badly-healed wounds. They might need a specialist!”

This wasn’t what Viktor expected. He rubs at the rough scrub that’s already growing on his chin. “You want me to get Stars help.”

“ _Yes._ ” Mila pauses, “Wh-what did you think I was—”

“I thought you were going to urge me to replace Stars with another mage.” Viktor looked askance at Mila, eyes shuttered to slits.

“What?! But you’re bonded and married!” Mila looks terrified. “The separation could kill Stars! You _wouldn’t ever.”_

It sounds more like a threat than a plea.

Viktor’s dark and slow smile chills Mila, “No. _I_ wouldn’t. But Lilia might try something.”

“Commander Lilia?” Mila’s hair is wild with her agitation. She’s on the razor’s edge of snapping.

Viktor’s always loved that particular quirk about Mila, her almost non-existent fuse. Always ready to explode at the smallest provocation.

“It’s alright though. Stars and I have allies. Including you, apparently.”

His sincere smile throws Mila off, again. “Stars... told you about the abuse?”

“Yes. We’ve talked about it. Now let’s put the topic aside, and for the love of the ancestors stop digging up rumors. You’re going to make Stars’ life more difficult.”

 “I’ll put the rumors to rest,” promised Mila, “I’m sorry for causing you trouble Captain. Is it alright if I apologize to Stars?”

“Well how should I know?” asked Viktor in amusement, just as Chris, a few scribes and others entered the tent. “Ask them yourself.”

After that Viktor spends the rest of the day and evening listening to people complain about what was wrong with the camp. The list seemed infinite. Repairs to tents was one of his top priorities with winter, several people were saying that fleas had begun spreading, and another person said the kitchen was serving rotten food to the lowliest of servants and their families.

“There’s also the concern that Elder-Stars’ spellwork is going to fail. Since...” Chris pauses, to think of his words carefully, “Things were less than idyllic between them and Yakov.”

Viktor only barely prevents himself from grimacing. “I see. I will have Stars look over the spells. Draw up a list, would you Mila, of the most urgent ones and then Stars can investigate for themselves what needs to be done next. If it’s a protection spell that needs to be redone we may be staying past the week,” said Viktor, tapping his lips. “Also, Stars will definitely be inviting a few lesser mages to join us so have a few contracts drawn up.”

Viktor makes the mistake of asking if there’s anything else that needs to be addressed. He maintains a polite smile as several people clamor for his attention. _Of course, what did you think would happen?_ He sends a messenger off to Yuuri to make sure the mage doesn’t worry.

He doesn’t escape the meeting for several more hours and then Chris has to convince Viktor not to scale the city walls. Viktor knows Yuuri will be fine by himself, can find the bed and breakfast by himself.

He still worries a little.

 


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A long chapter for once! :)

Yuuri rolled his finger in the air in a silent bid to do it again.

There were fifteen student mages remaining in the line up.

There was one whose arms were trembling like a new blossom in a late spring snowstorm but the look on her face was pure iron.

Yuuri scribbled, ‘works hard, not giving up despite being exhausted’, next to her name.

Ten minutes later a boy abruptly stopped doing the form, stomped to the door and slammed it open, allowing it to smack closed.

Yuuri sighs and crossed his name out. It was still 10 in the morning.

When Yuuri finally allows them to break for lunch at 3 in the afternoon there are only eight mages left.

And he has no idea no idea how to pare down the last two.

They are all great mages with wonderful potential, he doesn’t want to leave any of them behind.

During lunch they’re all sitting in the center of the room, chatting.

“Di! Di! Tell Stars how you ate horse shit on a dare!”

Yuuri chokes on his food while the students around him laugh uproariously. The aforementioned Di turns bright red but is grinning brightly, “Hey! I was fifteen!”

“That was last _year_.”

The warm feeling in Yuuri’s chest caves, it’s difficult to believe how young everyone is, and that Yuuri is asking them to join a military command. He swallows hard.

The rest of the evening is spent in more and more grueling drills, none of the students yielding so Yuuri steps into the field to spar each student to feel out their personal style.

Part of the difficulty is finding people who work well _together_.

By dinner time Yuuri is exhausted. <<Everyone did amazing today. You’ve all given me a difficult task. I can only choose six of you, unfortunately. Tomorrow I will be back to pick up the chosen six. Make sure to have your paperwork and things ready to go. If you are not chosen I am willing to write a letter of reference for another position you want, whether another battalion or even a castle post or hospital specialty. Thank you for your hard work.>>

The students say good night.

........

.......

Yuuri has to re read Viktor’s message several times before the words sink in.

_“Darling I’m being held captive by my lieutenant and people who need to tell me what’s wrong. I’m very sorry but I don’t think I’ll make it back into the city before the gates close, unless there is some emergency which I will scale the wall for you. Do as you please. XXXXXX.....”_

The ‘X’s go on for several lines until Viktor’s elegant signature graces the bottom. Yuuri folds the paper, tucking it into a pocket before paying the messenger.

He’s alone as he saddles Blue who nibbles on the silk draped across his face. He kisses her nose.

Blue patiently waits for Yuuri to finish buckling the seat and straightening the stirrups. And then Yuuri hops on and they’re outside in the early dusk of a city.

Alone.

With money.

Alone.

On a horse. With money. No one telling him what to do.

Oh gods.

He decides to go straight to the bed and breakfast. No point in getting lost in the dark.

Halfway to the B&B Yuuri realizes he could run. He could wait until the gates open first thing in the morning and bolt.

It would be risky and the crown would chase him down, hunting him like a wild animal, but he would be free.

Free and alone.

Yuuri shivers, fear, excitement. Everything.

He unsaddles Blue, carefully brushing her down and inspecting her hooves for any cracks or pebbles.

The owner greets him warmly. “Hello there dear, just you today? You know it’s rare to see one of your kind out alone.”

Yuuri nods, boy does he know. <<City gates closed.>>

The owner grins like a child on their first public birthday. “Goodness me! I _never_ thought...” She seems to have forgotten Yuuri is right there. “Oh, forgive me. You must be so hungry!”

Yuuri nods. _Very_ hungry.

“I don’t believe I’ve introduced myself properly. My name is Imelda Anda!” She holds her hand out.

<<It’s very nice to meet you. I’m sorry but we can’t—>>

Before Yuuri finishes scripting, Imelda goes bright red. “Oh! I’m so _so_ sorry. I’ve completely forgotten! I’m such a dunce sometimes.” She turns on her heel, still chattering nervously, plucking at her shirt. “My mother’s grandmother opened this place, you know, and back then just _seeing_ a royal mage, according to my mother who her grandmother told _her_ , was enough to raise the hairs on your neck!” She turns back, smiling too widely, almost grotesque. “And to think! Now _I_ have the honor of _speaking_ with a royal mage.”

Yuuri grimaces. But because Imelda is walking in front of him he can’t get her attention without startling her out of her wits.

She leads him to a private eating room.

Yuuri’s heart plummets, he hates eating alone.

“I think you’ll find yourself comfortable here. The common area is _very_ noisy.”

Imelda finally looks at Yuuri and he starts writing furiously.

<<I don’t mind the noise, truly. And to be honest I’m not special at all. Royal mages are only shrouded to protect our identity. Not because...>> Yuuri sucks on his teeth, wondering what to tell this bright eyed woman who towers over him.

They both fidget.

<<Forgive me. I know it’s strange but I’d prefer to be treated as a regular guest.>> Yuuri winces. He’s a strange guest, draped from crown to sole in anonymity and silence.

Imelda seriously considers his words, and when she speaks it’s slowly, testing the waters. “It must be lonely. As a royal mage.”

 _< <Yes.>>_ Yuuri punctuates the word harshly. He hopes Viktor won’t be too angry that he’s speaking with a stranger so intimately.

Imelda nods slowly, looking like Yuuri’s just told her that a small puppy dislikes being separated from it’s mother. “Well then! A regular guest. One I must not touch.”

Yuuri snorts and Imelda’s eyes grow wide with his next script.

<<I was not aware you touched all guests.>>

“No! Of course not, it’s not—”

Yuuri grins and scripts the symbol for laughter, a series of curls that close in a circle. Imelda relaxes.

“Ah...” She hides her face, “Forgive me. Fawning over you.” She fans her face, “I’m such a goose!” She leads him to the common room, to a small table tucked in the back, near the kitchens. “Is this alright?”

Yuuri nods.

Imelda places a heaping plate of pulled duck drowned in citrus sauce down on the table along with a pitcher of watered-down wine. Yuuri’s stomach growls loudly.

“I’ll bring the bread out in a second,” promises Imelda, pausing awkwardly. “Uh... How should I address you?”

<<Stars is my name. But I’ve heard you call other patrons sweetheart and that’s fine too. Just a regular customer, remember?>>

Imelda shakes her head. “Incredible. Incredible...”

It rubs Yuuri the wrong way, how Imelda obviously was going to scrape and bow to him.

A guitarist takes up the entertainment and Yuuri pays attention, committing the movements of fingers to memory. He brings out a scrap of paper and scrawls notes and scales that the man plays. The performer sings in another language but the song is recognizable as a love song. A sad one.

After that it’s a pianist then a trio of friends who drunkenly steal the stage from the pianist to sing lecherous songs about the Queens. Yuuri wants to _die_. It’s amazing.

Imelda joins him once the kitchen closes, a surly man taking up the job of bar tending and making sure the guests do not get out of hand.

“Are you enjoying yourself, dear?”

<<Very! Thank you!>>

Imelda squeals happily and hugs herself, Yuuri suspects is in lieu of hugging _him_.

They enjoy several pitchers of watery beer and wine which makes Yuuri’s head spin, but the wine is so sweet and the beer so bitter that he can’t help but drink until his stomach sloshes around.

<<I better get to bed.>> He admits defeat for the night _._ <<Before I regret it tomorrow.>>

Imelda giggles, sloshing her half empty pint of beer. “I think you mean before you regret it today. Tomorrow’s today, dear!”

Yuuri checks the time and the sun is going to rise in about three hours, which.... fantastic. <<Right. Thank you for keeping me company. Good night.>>

Through some miracle, Yuuri makes it to his and Viktor’s room, only fumbling with the lock a little.


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! :)

Viktor almost kills a cabbage seller in his rush to get back into the city, thankfully he manages to dodge the stodgy cabbages and make it into the city.

Viktor expects to find his night-owl love still in bed but to his surprise Yuuri is busy saddling Blue.

“Love!”

Yuuri’s silks flared out as he turns. “Viktor!”

Grinning, Viktor steps into the tiny stall, Blue takes up most of the space, he draped himself over the horse, smiling fondly at his little mage.

“I tried not to worry but I still did. Were you alright last night? There’s no one around, no need for scripting.”

“I’m fine,” replies Yuuri, voice subdued, “I’m going to be choosing six mages. You don’t have to follow me today, it’s going to be a short day. I’ll see you for dinner?”

“Sure, I can go order enough wagons to transport them to camp.” Viktor unhooked the bridle from the wall, gently setting the bit into Blue’s mouth, making sure there were no edges to catch on Blue’s soft mouth. “What else should we get today?”

“I need scrying bowls for each mage,” murmurs Yuuri, face tipped down. “And a basic stock of herbs. Sorry.”

Viktor frowns, thumbing at his own lips in thought. Yuuri was being unusually meek and skittish. “Okay, is there anything _you_ need specifically?” Maybe Yuuri is feeling down about having to cut students he likes?

Viktor reaches out to catch Yuuri’s hand, squeezing his fingers, heavy boot steps force Viktor from asking Yuuri what’s wrong.

“Captain Nikiforov?”

“Yes.” He drops Yuuri’s hand to accept a heavy letter from the messenger, paying and dismissing the man quickly. “Oh. It’s the invitation for the lord’s dinner. Shall I go with a page or shall I go with my darling husband?”

Yuuri shook his head. “I... don’t know if I can do dinner tonight, as me. I can go just as Stars? Please?”

“Are you sure? I promise to protect you. No one else will know.”

Yuuri gnaws on his lip, remembering the thrilling chill he’d felt last night at the thought of running.

“What name would I even use?”

Viktor shrugs, “Whichever you’d like, apple of mine eye.”

Yuuri snorts, Viktor’s heart leaping at the little show of humor.

Heart beating painfully in his chest Yuuri shrugs, “Maybe?”

Viktor chuckles, “I’ll keep that in mind. If not we can do another spa day!”

Through the bond Viktor feels a worrisome jerk of nervousness, of uncharacteristic fear.

“Okay.”

Yuuri’s voice is barely a whisper.

“Is everything alright?”

Yuuri nods. “I’m sorry it’s just I’m nervous about...”

“Today? Overall?”

Viktor feels a zipping ball of amusement run through him from Yuuri.

“That sums it up nicely.” Yuuri sighs, rubbing his chest, “I promise to be normal tomorrow—”

“Darling, I don’t need such promises,” Viktor interrupts gently, “I understand that this is stressful on you, especially because I can’t help. You have to fight alone on this one.”

“I’ve been fighting alone my whole life,” says Yuuri quietly, “Now I have you.”

“Until the end. Now let’s get you and Blue out the door so you can come back more quickly.”

.....

.....

The city was boring without Yuuri but Viktor did his best to be productive. He sourced a new black smith, hoping Chris would give their old one a blistering speech on the way out.

He also bought several package of necessities for Yuuri and his new mages. With nothing better to do Viktor ventures into a book store.

Unlike the academic libraries and professional book shops he visited as Yakov’s squire this book store is bright and loud, there’s even a children’s corner that’s warm and inviting.

“Good afternoon, how can I help you today?”

“No thanks,” replies Viktor absently, already eyeing a shelf full of architecture history. “I’m just curious.” He smiles.

“Well just come find someone in a red smock if you do have any questions.” The attendant waves him into the stacks.


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> http://tinyurl.com/y46lvg5u

The mage school is blanketed by lunch time rowdiness and several students point at him, whispering amongst themselves. Viktor ignores it in favor of searching for Yuuri, the classroom he’d been allowed for testing had been empty and tidy. The lunch room equally empty but with signs of a recent meal neatly stacked in the corner. Feeling frustrated no one could tell him exactly where Yuuri was, Viktor laid his subconscious on the bondline, attempting to follow its arrow-straight line to Yuuri through the maze of corridors.

“Mister Captain Nikiforov, sir!!!!”

Viktor blinked in the sudden disorienting sunlight after spending half an hour wandering the dark corridors. “Uh. Yes?”

“Mister Captain, sir! Stars wanted me to tell you where they are, Sir Captain....Sir.”

Viktor stifled a chuckle at the student’s enthusiasm. “Oh, are you one of ours now?”

“No...” The student was clearly disappointed. “I was one of the first cut. Too young.”

That was a shame, the boy clearly had enthusiasm which was endearing. “Too bad. So. Where is Stars?”

“He’s at the east stables sir, not the main ones. It’s this way!”

....

....

Six students were sitting or standing outside the stables, bundles of luggage littering the area around them. When he came into view, they all snapped to attention.

“At ease,” said Viktor with a smile, “Is this all you have? What about your families?”

“None of us are married, Captain, but a couple have younger siblings to care for, you see.”

Viktor didn’t ask for names, he’d learn them soon enough, and besides, these mages would leave their school’s protection and childhood names behind, taking up new names now that they were to be under Yuuri’s command.

“I’ve ordered carriages for you all. But they’re to meet at the main entrance.”

A girl spoke up, “We can get a pull wagon for to get our stuff there. Can we use these carriages to pick up our families? None of them reside on-site, sir.”

“Of course.” Viktor pulled out a stack of six envelopes, “Introductions will have to wait, Stars and I have a dinner with the Lord tonight, for now go to camp and give these to the lieutenant. The carriage drivers will know the way. Tomorrow we’ll properly meet.” He handed out the envelopes. “These are standard contracts that Star should have already gone over with you?”

They all nodded and Viktor relaxed.

“Good.”

With that he dismisses them, entering the cool and shadowed stables.

.....

.....

Yuuri focuses on brushing out Blue’s coat until it shines, he can hear Viktor’s voice down the short passage way and because the stables are empty. He’d chosen them because they were unused and no one had to be kicked out due to _him_ being there. Less inconvenience for everyone.

Yuuri’s breath hitches when Viktor dismisses the mages.

His mages.

Yuuri tries to take a steady breath, fails, just manages to make himself cough. They’re all so young, kids. He’s asking these kids to go to war.

He can’t do this.

But they volunteered.

Yuuri is sure he never would have volunteered for such nonsense as warring, playing the hero. He’s no hero.

Yuuri digs the brush too hard into Blue and she nips at his arm.

“Sorry, love.” Yuuri soothes the sore area.

“Yuuri~! Which stall are you using?”

Yuuri jerks back, startling Blue as well, she steps in front of him and the stall door.

“I’m over here.”

Viktor finds them. “Ah, my two favorites. I like the group you’ve chosen, they all look eager. And none with big families to deal with.”

“Yeah, the families always meddle, especially with younger mages.”

“Great!” Viktor regards him carefully, “About tonight...”

Yuuri jumps, “—Actually I wanted to talk about that too. I think dinner would be fun.”

“You do?”

“Yeah. But... I’d... if it’s okay with you...” Yuuri hems and haws for several more seconds, waffling what he wants to say. Viktor’s eyebrows climb so high they almost disappear into his hairline which is a feat considering how high _that_ is.

“You want to go in your silks,” Viktor surmises, having to interrupt Yuuri. “Not sneak around as a page boy.”

Halfway through his waffling, Yuuri had pulled off his hat, unable to breathe in the suffocating shroud, he crushed the hat between his fists, nodding. “. . .Yes. Please. . .”

The pleading tone and obvious distress concerns Viktor, where was this coming from? The bondline is trembling like a pond during a rainstorm, Viktor can’t get a read on anything but an overwhelming amount of fear.  

Viktor calls his name sweetly, “~Yuuri... Have I done something to make you doubt me? Please let me know so I can fix it right away.”

“N-no, you haven’t done anything.” Yuuri jerks back, even though Viktor isn’t touching him. His stomach drops cold, realizing how much taller Viktor is, twice as broad and much heavier than that by muscle weight. It’s intimidating. They’re alone in a secluded area far from many people.

Viktor could hurt him.

Viktor could rip the silks away and shove him to the floor—

Blue Heart snorts and swings around, shoving him into a corner.

“Yuuri!”

Yuuri gasps and hugs Blue tightly, gasping into the warm smell of horse. He can’t stop shaking.

“P-please. Go away.” Yuuri’s mouth is running away from him, _this_ is why Ruth was so hard on him.

“Yuuri. I’m leaving. See? I’m leaving.”

Viktor ducks out of Blue’s stall and Yuuri collapses onto his knees. His brain’s buzzing with loud crackling energy he can’t control, eyes burning and dry.

He wants Viktor forever. But just the thought of Viktor touching him makes Yuuri retch.

He’d been ready, so ready to give his body over his captain.

But then Viktor had promised him more than warmth and affection, had _given_ him respect and safety, a voice. With the taste of _that_ on his tongue, Yuuri wants nothing more than to be safe in his own skin.

He sobs into his hands, confused and overtaken by clammy shivers that make him nauseous.


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel a llittle bad abotu leaving it at a cliff hanger for more than a month! :0  
> But fortunately the long drought is over (hopefully!)  
> Thank you for all your kind messages!!! <3

Viktor paced outside of the stables for half an hour, only daring to re enter once the bond between him and Yuuri was starting to calm.

“Yuuri? Is it okay if I come in?”

A soft, hoarse voice answered. “Yeah.”

He found Yuuri, tears still drying on his face, crouched under Blue’s belly.

The horse eyed him suspiciously, as if she knew Viktor was the cause of her beloved Yuuri’s anguish.

“I see Blue has been protecting you.”

Yuuri sniffled and rubbed the horse’s shoulder. “Yeah. I love her.”

Viktor settled in by the door where he could keep an eye on the front and back entrances.

Yuuri was pulling in breaths to his belly, slow and deep. He was soothing himself down from his panic.

“Do you want more time with Blue?” Viktor smiled gently. “She seems to be doing you wonderfully. I don’t mind. I could leave to get you something. Oranges are just beginning to ripen and—”

“Spending time with the lesser mages,” Yuuri dug his nails into the soft skin of his scalp, “I realized how vulnerable they’re going to be until they get a good grasp on offensive and defensive magic. How vulnerable Ruth made me to be abused. But you didn’t.” Yuuri looked up, his eyes wet with fresh tears, nose red. “You didn’t.”

Viktor was frozen, he wasn’t sure what to do. Should he approach Yuuri? No. They boy had made it clear.

“I don’t know what to say. Of course I wouldn’t.”

Yuuri nodded, face twisted in misery, “I know. But what if it hadn’t been you?”

Viktor knew Yuuri was right. He could have ended up paired with someone cruel or impatient and continued his miserable life being hurt by the people who were supposed to protect him. “You wouldn’t have allowed it to continue for long.”

“What?”

“I mean that you’re so smart and tough, as a child your powers were restricted by your elder but now as a royal mage... Can you honestly tell me you wouldn’t have slit your abuser’s throat and made a run for it?”

Yuuri gaped at Viktor. He considered telling Viktor about the sudden yearning to run. But that would have only hurt Viktor without reason, Yuuri wasn’t going to run.

“I don’t know.”

Viktor slid along the wall, his back against it, shuffling along until he was a few inches from Yuuri. “I do. You’re so strong. Even after years of being under Yakov and Ruth, you never let them change who you are. I can see you try to suppress it, but the incredible person you are wasn’t destroyed. Ruth failed. You won.”

Yuuri’s mouth fell open, unable to control his emotions or face. Was Viktor right? Did Ruth fail? His back and rump hurt from sitting on hard stone. Viktor was so near but making sure to give him space.

Yuuri shifted over the last few inches and laid his head on Viktor’s shoulder. “I’m sorry I always ruin things by freaking out. It’s happening more often and I don’t know how to stop it or why it keeps happening.”

“Why do you think it’s happening?” asked Viktor, lowering his shoulder so Yuuri’s head could rest more comfortably.

“Maybe... I keep dreaming of Ruth. I keep dreaming she’s still here and she’ll walk in on us and be _so_ angry.”

“You spent so much time with her. Your heart is still trying to protect you. Like soldiers who dream of war years after it’s over. Their brain and heart is trying to keep them safe, even after the danger is over.”

“Oh.” It made sense to Yuuri, he’d helped Ruth treat soldiers in the throes of nightmares from experiences years ago. “And probably the magic running through me doesn’t help. Can... can you hug me?”

Viktor brought Yuuri into the security of his arms and felt the young mage melt with a sigh. “I’m sorry for ruining your plans.”

“Nonsense. We can still go. We’ll just be _very_ fashionably late. We can blame the new mages, settling them was difficult. No one will question it.”

Yuuri’s voice is muffled against his chest, “It’s not like anyone’s going to see my face anyway. I bet the food’s going to be good.”

Viktor chuckled. “That’s true. Do you want to go?”

“Please.”

“And tomorrow you can introduce me to your mages!”

“Hm...”

“That doesn’t sound very convinced.” Viktor bit down on his surprised gasp when Yuuri climbed into his lap. He smoothed Yuuri’s hair down. “Are you sure you want to go?”

“You already agreed to be there,” muttered Yuuri, “Want to stay with you.”

Viktor continued to stroke Yuuri’s hair. “We’ll talk about this more tomorrow. I want you to feel safe and comfortable.”

“I’d like that,” said Yuuri, “Thank you.”

 


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)  
> hello again!  
> Thanks for reading and your wonderful comments!  
> see you next week!

That night Viktor is unable to sleep which is unusual in the extreme. Once they’d made it back to camp, Yuuri had dropped off immediately, exhausted by both his day with the lesser mages and the evening of social niceties with the lord and his family.

Viktor gives up on sleep, orders a jug of mulled wine from the kitchens and sets down to work. It used to be like this when Yakov was still alive. He would spend the night in relentless work. Having Yuuri to care and worry for, as well as having to take a whole battalion in hand made it difficult for his brain to remain active at night.

He doesn’t notice time passing until a pair of calloused hands press down on his shoulders.

“Yuuri...” Viktor leans into the chair, tipping his face back and is rewarded with a soft brush of lips, Yuuri’s mouth trailing warmth up his cheek. “What time is it?”

Yuuri retreats, fingers trailing down his shoulder and sits down next to him, he’s wearing the broad-brim hat but nothing else that covers his face. And the veil is pinned back. He eyes the neat chaos of the table. “It’s very very early. Couldn’t sleep?”

“No.” Viktor chews on the blunt end of his pen, “I have an impertinent request.”

“Yes?”

“I don’t know how to help you.” Viktor pats Yuuri’s clenched hand. “I don’t. I wish I did. But I think if I speak with—”

“ _No.”_ Yuuri snarls, snatching his hand back. “You are _not_ telling someone else of my weakness! Of how I’m—. _”_

Viktor closed his eyes, taking in a deep breath to reign his temper in. He wasn’t frustrated because of Yuuri. He _wasn’t_. “I don’t know how to help you,” he repeated. “What do I do? I won’t be your lover. Do you need me to be your father? A brother?”

Yuuri’s face contorted, he blushed up to his ears. “No! Gods, Viktor!”

“Alright then, your friend, or perhaps—”

“I don’t need a doctor! I just need _you!_ ”

 Viktor dropped his pen, ink splattering several pages. “Me?”

“I need Viktor,” confirmed Yuuri, eyes blazing, “And nothing more.”

It was a bold claim, but Yuuri relaxed into his arms when they hugged.

“I’m yours,” promised Viktor, “In any way you need me.” He kissed Yuuri’s hands.

Yuuri cupped his face, sly smile that Viktor hadn’t seen until now, now gracing his face. “Friend but not lover, right?”

Viktor grinned, “That’s right, minx.” He kissed Yuuri’s forehead. “I’m exhausted!”

“You should go sleep while I take care of all this,” Yuuri squinted at the orders and things Viktor had written. “Rest.”

“Are you sure?”

Yuuri just smiled and got up from the table. “I’m going to get ready for the day. I’ll tell Chris the food disagreed with you.”

It’s funny how eager Yuuri is to ease some of the burden off Viktor’s shoulders.

..........

..........

Yuuri arranges the stacks of papers into a pleasing fortress and places crystals on top of each pile in case of a sharp wind. It’s no surprise that when Chris strides in, already halfway through a sentence about his newest lover’s ass, that the lieutenant doesn’t realize he isn’t speaking with Viktor.

He shrieks when he realizes it’s Yuuri.

 _“_ STARS!”

Yuuri can’t help but tease him. <<No no, please continue. You were going on about your beloved’s unique qualities—>>

Chris turns away, dismissing the conversation. “Absolutely not!”

Yuuri grimaces. Without another form of communication, it’s incredibly rude to turn your back on a royal mage who is speaking with you. On par with screaming someone down.

Disgruntled, Yuuri goes back to the paperwork just as another messenger comes in. Chris turns back to watch in astonishment as Yuuri signs off on some orders, folds the paper neatly and gives it to the messenger.

“Where’s Viktor?”

Yuuri ignores him.

“Is he... still sleeping? Can I go check?”

Yuuri summons an invisible wall that stymies Chris’ attempt at entry into the private quarters.

“Ouch! Ahem, Stars this is serious. Look, Mila is going to be here—Ah! Mila. Thank the good earth you’re here.”

Curious, Mila sits down at the table, riffling through one stack. “Stars, what’s all this?”

Yuuri puts down his pen. <<Work.>>

“And where’s Viktor?”

Yuuri narrows his eyes. <<Sleeping.>>

 _“_ Are... you mad?”

<<Yes.>>

Mila looks at Chris. “What did you do?”

“What did _you_ do?”

“I’m asking what happened right _now_ that Stars refuses to speak with you?”

“I don’t know! They just threw a tantrum when I tried see Viktor. Should they even be doing this alone?”

 Mila neatens up one of the stacks. “Stars is a royal mage.”

“A _child_ ,” snaps Chris, “Viktor told me!”

Mila gapes at Chris then Yuuri, her eyes edged in fear.

They both flinch when Yuuri starts scripting. <<Mila please get the Lt. out of my sight.>>

Chris leaves in a huff, face red.

“Stars... I’m sorry about that. It’s a gross breach in protocol.”

<<I don’t care _, >>_ says Yuuri, his writing going wobbly, <<It’s done. Viktor and I will talk about it later, I guess. And just so you don’t feel left out: Chris wasn’t lying.>>

Mila laces her fingers together, thumbs stroking down to her wrist. “I wasn’t going to ask. It’s not my place and it’s not important. You’re a royal mage and we’ve all got to respect what that means. You’ve got a lot of responsibility. We should be working together not against one another. So. What can I do for you?”

Mila straightens her jacket, tucks her hair back and gives him the most plastic customer-service smile Yuuri’s ever seen.

He snorts. He can’t help it.

Mila’s lip twitches.

<<Thank you. Really. Can you look over the requests for armor replacement and repair? I have no experience with that and we can get those organized before we leave.>>

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ps: plz don't ask me when im updating next. or say 'pls update soon'. just. do. not. :)


	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!!!! :D

Mila nodded, looking at the stacks of finished and unfinished paperwork. “Sounds like a plan. But I don’t know how much good it will do us. Our smithworker is shit. To put it mildly. Yakov always outsourced any metalwork that the soldiers needed. Viktor should really replace him.”

<<I can’t wait until we can speak properly, how is that going?>>

Mila grimaced, “Lilia was our sponsor and she’s currently pissed at Viktor.”

Yuuri hummed. <<I’ll talk to Circe, they might be able to help us.>>

“That’s a serious request,” said Mila slowly, “of a royal mage you barely know. Don’t compromise yourself just to rush something that will come anyway. And if we reach the south line before Lilia gives approval then we can take it up with the holy mages, right?”

Yuuri tapped his pen harshly on the paper. Mila was right but he was frustrated at how restricted things were for him. <<I wish I was a lesser mage, they don’t run the risk of losing their voice.>>

“Hey! That’s almost treason.” Mila’s tone suggests she doesn’t really give a shit.

Their banter pauses when Viktor emerges, looking less than spectacular.

“What’s all this noise?” He yawns hugely and collapses into the Captain’s chair.

<<Chris was looking for you. Tell him he’s a dick. Also please take this to the kitchens and bring us lunch.>>

Viktor has to reread the words. “Sure. Can I know why?”

<<Rude.>>

Viktor’s eyebrows rise high and then higher when Mila giggles, unable to stop.

“I am rude or Chris is rude?”

“Both!” said Mila, pointing a pen at him, “Stars has been hard at work and needs sustenance!”

Viktor grins and kisses Yuuri’s shoulder. “Interesting. Well alright.” He leans back in his chair and dramatically lays a hand over his heart. “I’ve been relegated to _messenger_.”

<<It’s a mutiny>>, agrees Yuuri, startling a loud laugh from Viktor who leaves the tent with a wink for him.

He and Mila fall into a companionable silence until another messenger comes looking for something to do and Yuuri hands over a few letters.

“You and Viktor get along well,” said Mila softly, as if it didn’t matter if Yuuri hear her.

Yuuri hummed. <<All thanks to Viktor.>> He paused, giving Mila a hard look, trying to see if she has ulterior motives. But there was something soft and hesitant about Mila: apologetic. <<He’s been incredibly patient and kind with me.>>

“Because Ruth was unkind?”

Yuuri sighed, did _everyone_ have to know his business? <<Yes.>>

Mila gnawed on a piece of her curly hair. “Is... that why Rocci suddenly became so interested on long-term head trauma.”

Yuuri cringed, knowing it wouldn’t do him any good to be overtly friendly with someone who was essentially a ‘guard dog’ meant to keep Yuuri in check. Festus’ treatment of his own ‘guard dog’ was still vivid in Yuuri’s memory. _That_ wouldn’t get him any allies either, an he desperately needed people who could help in the immediate moment, not other royal mages scattered across the land.

Even if she could turn on him depending on how the wind blew.

Yuuri thinks about what he’s going to say, he taps his pen against the rough paper, eyes shuttering between Mila and the empty space next to her shoulder. << Because of…>> Yuuri faltered.

“Elder Stars hit you,” said Mila flatly, staring at the veil that hung over his face.

Yuuri nodded. Slowly. “Sometimes I have episodes. I lose my sight, I lose my hearing. When they’re very bad, I shake and lose all knowing.>>

Mila’s breath catches, she covers her mouth while Yuuri writes in the air between them. Her eyes linger on the empty space long after the words burn out of existence.

Yuuri fidgets, luckily Viktor returns with Chris in tow before either of them speak.

“I’m sorry,” mutters Chris with a bow at Yuuri who grimaces at Viktor though no one can see. _Especially_ because no one can see him make faces. He didn’t want Viktor to drag Chris out here and force an apology.

<<Whatever.>>

Viktor chuckles and steps aside for a pair of servers to set up a collapsible table and a feast for them.

“You can continue working later, darling heart. Please come eat before you get all grumpy.”

Yuuri huffs but obeys.

Yuuri is careful to eat more vegetables than carbs so he doesn’t get sleepy, but Viktor goes ham on everything and even indulges in a bit too much of the beer the servers bring.

..........

..........

After a long nap, Viktor gathers everyone important to talk about their route.

“Commander Baravnoskaya has assigned us to Three Stacks, a southern base that sees a lot of action.”

Yuuri watches Viktor’s face closely, noting how his gaze grows hard and impersonal.

“The quickest route would be going west first then hitting the southern border, we’d lose only a day for niceties with the local countess and we would pick up supplies that are difficult to procure further south.”

“We get to avoid Anoint lake _and_ get fed? I love this plan.” Chris nods, scribbling notes on a pad of paper.

Viktor smiled tightly, “Good.”

After a few more minutes nit-picking their route and timing, Viktor called an end to the meeting.

“You didn’t say much.” Viktor gently took his gloved hand, feeling the warmth radiating out through the material of the leather material.

Yuuri shrugs, “I’ve never spoken much at these things. Once I start working with the mages in combat formations and have to integrate them with the regular soldiers, then I’ll _have_ to speak up.”


	35. Chapter 35

<<Again,>> scribes Yuuri in large letters. <<Do it faster.>>

The lesser mages he’d chosen had turned out to be eager and incredibly intelligent. Especially after Yuuri had given them complete freedom in choosing their own names.

Although lesser mages didn’t work under anonymity crucial to their safety, choosing a name helped protect their families from harm. It prevented reprisals and increased the feeling of belonging.

<<Buttercup,>> wrote Yuuri, <<You need to remember you’re working as A TEAM. You’re no longer competing against classmates.>>

“Right! Sorry teacher!” Buttercup takes up her stance again. Across from her Obsidian crouches in an opposing stance.

At Yuuri’s feet lounge Sycamore, Rumble, Glimmer, and Mako, eating bites of cheese and bread.

Mako hands up a bite of marbled rye which Yuuri takes, the morsel disappearing under his veil.

Buttercup, while the most educated, was not the best in offensive tactics. Yuuri makes a note of this in his notebook. Before he even finishes writing his observations, Obsidian has knocked Buttercup onto the ground, whooping and pumping his fist before helping Buttercup up.

“What’s that, Stars? Five to nil?”

Yuuri laughs. Here with the mages who will become his inner circle, he’s got more leeway. And hopefully within the year he’ll be able to speak with them, depending on his own discretion and the Queens’ royal mages. The thought excites Yuuri. While Ruth kept twelve lesser mages, none of them were cleared for contact with a royal mage, Yuuri remembers how she hated even having to interact with her squad of lesser mages.

Yuuri hopes that by keeping his own numbers small, he can slide under the regulations that would normally prevent such contact.

Befriending six eagers youths and gaining their loyalty shouldn’t be too hard. Wryly Yuuri notes he’s their age.

<<Alright, Buttercup that’s enough.>>

“I can do it!”

Glimmer jeers, “Too bad there isn’t a library nearby or you’d _really_ blow Stars away!”

Sycamore and Mako laugh, but Obsidian pats Buttercup’s shoulder in solidarity.

<<It wasn’t a suggestion,>> writes Yuuri, standing up, <<Come rest.>>

Yuuri pulls aside his hat, an athletic cowl spelled to wick away moisture and allow more air through covers his face.

Obsidian tenses as Yuuri takes up position opposite, falling into a sparring stance.

<<Nice and easy,>> urges Yuuri, <<We’re not going all out but I want you to try your best.>>

“Yessir,” replies Obsidian. “Uh... Ma’am?”

Yuuri laughs. <<Yessir is fine.>>

 Aware that Obsidian has gone several rounds, Yuuri is gentle with his jabs.

Obsidian is eventually on his back and Yuuri flicks his fingers, levitating Obsidian to his feet.

“Thank you, sir.”

<<Your technique is very interesting, where did you learn?>>

“Ah, my mother is a dance master and I kept up my lessons through the years with permission.” Obsidian is short. Shorter than Yuuri, with a dark, angelic face and wide eyes that make him look like a ten-year-old. Yuuri swallows down the thick lump in his throat.

They all have a fun lunch, although while his students talk, Yuuri realizes he’s a child leading children to war.

It dries his mouth out, and his low mood lingers the whole day. Even at their nightly round table, Yuuri knows he’s uncharacteristically silent.

That night Viktor interrupts Yuuri’s bath, crouching by the tub, his fingers dipping into the water.

“Your water’s cold. Should I run it again?”

Viktor is worrying about him. Again. Yuuri shakes his head. “No. I’m about to get out anyway.”

“You’ve been distracted.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I mean that I’m worried,” said Viktor quietly.

“Well don’t,” said Yuuri harshly, “I just have a lot on my mind. It doesn’t concern you.”

They both freeze.

“I-I apologize. I don’t—” Yuuri realized just how exposed and vulnerable he is, Yuuri curls into a ball.

Viktor retreats. “I’m sorry for prying. I will check on you again later.”

It would have been cruel to leave Yuuri like that, so he offers the mage a towel and leaves with a smile.

 Viktor leaves his coat off and so the frigid winter air can cool him off.

Despite Yuuri’s reluctance to dig into the topic, Viktor had bought books on emotional trauma from a reputable source.

The books had warned him there would be days like this.

The books hadn’t warned him how Yuuri’s frigid gaze would hurt him. How it would feel like a physical slap for Yuuri to withdraw like that, like _Viktor_ had been the one who hurt him.

Hadn’t he? Viktor takes a slow, deep breath, willing his heart to calm down.

Quickly he turns on his heel, hurrying to return to Yuuri, pausing only to let a servant know they would take their dinner privately.

Viktor pauses at the threshold, “Yuuri, may I come in?”

It takes a few seconds but Yuuri answers, his voice muffled. “Yes.”

Yuuri is huddled on a chair, he looks hunted. Eyes red-rimmed and breathing ragged.

Yuuri is _still_ scared of him.

“I ordered dinner for us here.” Viktor takes the seat across from Yuuri, keeping his voice low, “Are you… What can I do?”

Yuuri laughs, the sound high-pitched and wild. Viktor winces until he realizes Yuuri had raised the silencing spell without him even noticing, he shivers in awe.

So much power for a child to wield. Maybe… Maybe Lilia is not completely wrong to be nervous—to be _afraid_ —of such beings.

“Yuuri,” says Viktor reproachfully, “I know something is wrong. I can’t help if you don’t let me.”

“It’s nothing,” says Yuuri, stubbornly, dipping his chin. “Nothing.”

Of course. What else was he expecting. Viktor suppresses a sigh because the servant announces dinner is ready. He goes to fetch the platters while Yuuri clears the table.

Viktor decides to put the subject aside for now. “We’ll be coming upon the Countess’ lands soon. They don’t keep a royal mage, but I’m told they have an extensive crystal collection.”

“It will be interesting to see something like that,” replied Yuuri stiffly.

Viktor glances at the small corner of the room where Yuuri has dared spread his things. “You don’t work with crystals?”

Yuuri hums, warming to the subject. “I can use them of course. But I never learned how to infuse a spell into the lattice work of a crystal or gem.”

With a grin, Viktor shakes his head. “Sounds like you _are_ interested in crystals, though.”

“It’s…” Yuuri taps his fingers against the table, “It’s a useful skill. To a point. But it’s difficult to develop and requires lots of study. My time was better spent on battle magic, of course. Lesser mages are more likely to specialize in crystal-work.”

“Of course,” murmurs Viktor, noticing Yuuri’s rapid speech and the pink riding high on his cheeks. “But would you ever be interested to learn. If I gave you a book? Even if just to peruse?”

Yuuri gives him a nervous smile, “I… would like that. Very much.”

Viktor smiles, relieved to have saved the evening. “Very well. I will keep that in mind. For the future.”

“For the future,” repeats Yuuri softly. “Ah… Tomorrow. Will we be getting up early?”

“I’m afraid so. I want to reach the Countess’ estate before dark so we may dine with her and be off before she can corner us into staying longer.”

Yuuri nods, hiding his disappointment. He’d wanted to stay up a little longer and contact Festus, but Viktor would likely herd him into bed early.


	36. Chapter 36

“What in the name of the good earth is _this_?”

Yuuri silently agrees with Chris’ opinion, looks over at Viktor for a clue on how to react to _this_. Viktor just remains silent, staring thoughtfully at the waving banners lining the road ahead; two linked gold crowns on a black and white chevron field, a unicorn on each side. The royal banner is flanked on each side by smaller banners with the same black and white chevron field adorned only with two copper rings on the foreground.

“Fuck, Viktor. What the hell are the queens doing _here_?”

Yuuri moves Blue closer to Viktor, urgently taps on his arm.

“The queens aren’t here.” Viktor ignores Chris trying to say something. “The smaller banners are—"

“Wh—Oh.” Viktor finally notices the approaching riders when Yuuri reaches over to physically move Viktor’s chin to look down the road.

Yuuri backs up and so does Chris, flanking Viktor on each side as their forward scout, looking embarrassed, the countess’ messenger, and a crown messenger approach them.

“Greetings. Countess Erti, on behalf of the royal entourage, extends an invitation to Captain Nikiforov and Stars to dine tonight.” The countess’ messenger sniffs condescendingly, “Her grace would be honored if the Captain and his lieutenant would accept a room within her hold, and your camp may reside where they will.”

It’s a generous offer. On first glance.

Viktor leans forward, narrowing his eyes, unsure if excluding Yuuri from the invitation is purposefully done or if the royal mage is automatically counted.

Viktor rubs the metal horn of his saddle. “The countess is generous; please inform her we will set up near the river.”

Only their messenger stays, looking more flustered. “I apologize, Captain. But before I knew what was happening, their guards snuck up on me and wouldn’t let me leave.”

Viktor nods tersely, “Next time don’t get caught.”

The scout burns an even brighter color, “Yes, sir.” She flees to hide with the rest of their train and to spread the news.

Yuuri wonders what Viktor is thinking because through the soulbond he feels irritation and frustration. He reaches out and Viktor’s shoulders relax, the tension melting by increments.

.....

.....

Yuuri and Viktor watch Chris pace the length of the front room.

“What does it _mean?_ ” In frustration, Chris slams his fist on the table.

Yuuri flinches.

Both Chris and Viktor react. Chris by back-pedaling and Viktor by wrapping an arm around him.

“Control yourself. Meeting up with the royal entourage is pure coincidence. We were bound to have a run-in with them sooner or later.”

Visibly struggling with his temper, Chris snapped. “But so soon after Captain Feltsman’s death _and_ after the shit show with Commander Baravnoskaya? Unlikely.”

Yuuri discretely shrugs Viktor’s arm off, not wanting to look weak in front of Chris.

<<I agree with the lieutenant. More likely than not we’ll be discretely squeezed for information and dissidence. It’s the perfect time for them to do it. If the late Captain’s death was truly suspect we would be facing more than the royal entourage, it would be the queen’s liaisons here.>>

Chris nods thoughtfully, “That makes a lot of sense. They suspect _something,_ but they aren’t sure if it’s worth siccing the queens’ liasons on us.”

Viktor presses his lips together. “Regardless of what they want. They’re definitely after information about Yakov’s past…indiscretions and what might have sprouted from that.” Viktor grimaces. “In any case, the only people who could give anything away are the Late-Stars’ mages that are dispersed and should be impossible to find, Mila, Rocci, and those currently present.” Viktor rubs the bridge of his nose.

Chris fingers at the fuzz on his chin, “You’re forgetting about any current royal mages that knew Elder Stars. And Lilia herself. Stars, can you share information on what the entourage might be looking for? You were at the epicenter, after all.”

Yuuri shakes his head. << I have no information that the royal entourage would want from me.>> It’s a lie. A big fat lie. Viktor nods absently.

Chris looks like he knows they’re lying. “Fine. Whatever. If I say something I shouldn’t and both of you end up on the racks, then I can’t be blamed.

Viktor scowls. “No one is ending up on the racks.”

Chris stabs his fingers through mussed curls. “You still gotta wonder why they would stalk you all the way out here. Usually the entourage is in Scarsborough this time of year.”

Viktor doesn’t answer, he looks so lost in thought that Yuuri reaches out to touch the back of his hand.

He jumps, Yuuri snapping back in response.

“Whoa, why are you taking this so hard?”

Viktor sighs, “I’m just as worried as you two. You’re right about all the coincidences stacking up. And so neatly.” Viktor laces his fingers with Yuuri’s, turning their hands over on his lap. “Lilia had said there would be an investigation into Yakov’s death so maybe... I don’t know. After we parted, perhaps she fanned the flames of Yakov’s death being suspicious instead of calming things down.”

….

….

Yuuri excuses himself early from lunch to check on the mages and give them instructions for the next several days. Because sure as snow fell cold, the royal entourage would want an extended introduction to the newest captain. That meant Yuuri wouldn’t be able to supervise their training for a few days, at least.

“But why?!” Glimmer pouts, “I’m nervous. What if we run into crown mages? Surely they’ve got at least one here!”

Yuuri went cold, he hadn’t thought of that. <<You won’t interact with any strange mages, stay away from them. If you see someone unknown, bow politely and direct their questions to me until they leave. You are _not_ to even look at them.>>

“I wish I was a holy mage,” mutters Mako, “Or even a crown mage! I’d show all these sissy royal mages what _real_ battle looks like—Uh, except you, sir.” Mako blushes in embarrassment at her slip up. “You’re okay. But I’ve heard...”

Obsidian elbows her, “I’ll make sure they’re all behaving Stars! I think I saw a large beaver dam downstream. We can practice water manipulation safely from there.”

“I’ve read that the crown mages are scary good,” said Buttercup, ignoring Obsidian. “I’ve read accounts of what they can do together.”

“Are the holy mages twins as well?” Glimmer giggles, “How does the bedroom situation work if they’re all related?"

Dismayed at being unable to calm them, Yuuri cracks his fingers, sparking a bright light to momentarily blind them.

Buttercup had seen this coming and covers her eyes in time.

They all yelp apologies.

Once they were calm and able to see again, Yuuri scripted, <<You’re to stay within visual contact of camp. Practice the forms I’ve given you and help around camp where you can. I’m not sure how much time I’ll have to come back here and check on you. You’re no longer in school, your lives are at stake. Your friends are trusting you.>>

 With those somber words Yuuri bids them good night.

The front room of the Captain’s tent was empty, their lunch long cleared away. The inner bedroom lights were dimmed to something cozy, Yuuri sighs in relief, pulling his hat and gloves off.

“Viktor, what do you think the entourage wants? It _can’t_ be coincidence.”

He hears a splash and follows the sound to where Viktor’s taking a bath. Yuuri crouches by the tub, Viktor rarely took baths, usually just filling a few buckets with hot water to give himself a scrub before rinsing off. But soaking...

Viktor’s gaze is focused on something far away. “I don’t know. But I’m afraid of what it could be.”

Viktor had yet to wash his hair so Yuuri grabs the lavender-scented soap, scooping water into a cup to wet Viktor’s hair.

“Hey,” protests Viktor, “That’s _my_ job.”

“We can trade once in a while,” said Yuuri, squashing down his embarrassment, “Are you afraid to hear about Commander Baravnoskaya?”

“Lilia?” At a touch on his chin from Yuuri, Viktor tips his head back, humming when Yuuri carefully works the soap in, “Is that what _you’re_ worried about?”

“Maybe. Are you?”

“No, I just don’t want to hear about Yakov anymore. I’m afraid they’ll have more information about him, maybe that he skinned babies to wear as gloves or something. I don’t want to hear anymore.”

Yuuri pauses, face dropping. Viktor’s pruney hand reaches up to cover his own.

“This isn’t your fault.”

“It’s not yours either,” Yuuri shakes off Viktor’s hand so he can rinse off the soap.

“You haven’t had anymore fits, have you?”

Yuuri focuses on making sure no soap gets into Viktor’s eyes. “No. Not besides the nightmares. I’ve been careful to not exhaust myself. I promise.”

On impulse, Yuuri leans down to kiss Viktor’s big forehead.

Viktor reaches back to scratch at Yuuri’s scalp softly. “You’re next, your hair feels greasy and we want to make a good impression on the entourage.”

Yuuri laughs softly, resting his forehead against Viktor’s. “Who cares? I’m covered up. Unless they brought a crown mage then I doubt anyone but you will see me.”

“That doesn’t matter,” said Viktor with a disappointed click of his tongue, “I’m in charge of your well-being and neither of us has bathed in a week.”

Yuuri sighs, leaning back to cross his arms tightly across his chest. “I’m not a child.”

This again; Viktor pushes away from the edge of the tub to stand up and rinse, forcing Yuuri to scramble away or get splashed. “You’re a child.”

“I’m not _your_ child.” A trembling excitement works up Yuuri’s arms, his stomach going cold and then hot in turns.

In his mind’s eye, Yuuri can see how this would have played out with Ruth. _She_ would have given ten lashes across his legs. Yakov would have just slapped him once for speaking out of turn.

But Viktor wouldn’t, Viktor _promised_.

Yuuri holds himself still, locks his knees into place. Viktor _won’t_.

“I know that,” murmurs Viktor, looking guilty. He wraps a towel around himself, “Would you prefer if I didn’t care at all?”

Having Viktor worry over his well-being… Having _anyone_ worry over him was alien and wrong to Yuuri. And yet Yuuri desperately wants Viktor to worry over him.

He takes a deep breath.

“That’s not what I want either. But I don’t _want_ you to think of me as a kid either.” The past couple of weeks had lulled Yuuri into a false-calm while they travelled. He’d forgotten the outside world existed.

“Yuuri,” exasperated, Viktor starts toweling his hair.

“I’m expected to kill people,” cried Yuuri, “Is _that_ something a child does? Are the mages we hired children as well?!”

Viktor hunches up, but he doesn’t answer, fists buried in the damp towel.

The front door bells chime, Chris’ voice interrupting their conversation.

“The countess’ escort is here!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)  
> thank you for reading


	37. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now we're getting to the good stuff!

The town was decorated with hundreds of small lightning globes that guided their way up the town’s main thoroughfare to the steps of the castle.

“Moving up in the world, eh Captain?” Chris teased him quietly.

Viktor smiled broadly, but it seemed stiff to Yuuri who walked on Viktor’s arm.

The countess waited for them at the top of the steps.

“Captain Nikiforov, Stars. Be welcome.”

There was little ceremony as they were led inside to a warm sitting room and introduced to the countess’ family and the royal entourage.

“My husband and my two girls,” she gave Viktor a cutting glare, “I request that the royal mage not interact with my family, for their safety.”

Yuuri almost asked why. He bit his tongue and bobbed his head in acknowledgement, but the countess had eyes only for Viktor.

Yuuri gripped the soulbond and held on tightly.

“It is a strange request but one easily honored despite its coarse nature.”

The countess’ lip twitched.

Through the waterfall of blue lace, Yuuri focused on the entourage who seemed to be trying to glare at him through the layers.

The countess swept her arm to include the strangers standing to her right. “Then I am honored to present the royal entourage, the long arm of her majesties’ wishes and commands. Council Isli, Executor Achti, and Sergeant Ognar.” The countess bows forward the entourage.

They all bow at one another while servants silently set out tea and biscuits on little collapsible tables.

Once they’re all seated and have sampled the snacks, Viktor speaks to the entourage.

“It is a pleasure to be in your presence,” said Viktor tonelessly, “Should you require my assistance for anything, hesitate not.” He reached for his cup of tea, drinking shallowly.

Council Isli bobs her head, “Your cooperation and politeness is noted. We hope the roads have been favorable?”

After almost half an hour of banal conversation a butler comes forward, announcing dinner is ready to be served.

Yuuri is glad to be behind the layers of lace and silk, he’d surely collapse under the entourage’s naked scrutiny. Viktor seems to be completely at ease as they move from the sitting room to the dining hall.

“Your grace,” asks Viktor when they are halfway through the second course, “Why is it you distrust royal mages?”

Yuuri wants to kick Viktor, instead he grips the soulbond, squeezing it hard.

Viktor visibly stiffens, the muscles of his neck going taut.

The Countess dabs at her lips. “I do not distrust their majesties’ wisdom in harnessing such power. In fact, I am quite aware of how useful such a powerful being can be. _That_ is why I distrust them. So much power held in one person,” She narrows her eyes at Viktor, “That is also why I support the entourage’s work.”

“Indeed,” said Council Isli, “When her grace heard you were heading this way she invited us here to wait.”

The food in Yuuri’s mouth grew rotten. With difficulty he swallowed the bite of food. The executor, Achti, had her eyes on him, so Yuuri spooned more food onto his fork, bringing it into the shadow of his shroud.

Every bite of food made him feel worse, but Yuuri knew if he stopped then the entourage would know something was wrong.

Dinner had to end at some point, and it came before Yuuri could puke. His arms and legs were trembling, but he rose without tipping anyone off, even Viktor, to how he was feeling.

“We will retire to the drawing room for some light entertainment,” said the Countess, “You may send away your mage.”

Yuuri bit back a protest as Viktor clearly grew angrier with the Countess. “That is—”

Yuuri places an arm on Viktor, shakes his head.

With a barely restrained sigh, Viktor nods.

“I will accompany Stars back to camp, if it will ease your mind,” said Achti with a tight grin.

Yuuri steps away from Viktor, Achti falling in step with him a few seconds after.

“It must be frustrating to be treated so poorly while you place your life on the line,” mused Achti once they were outside.

The townspeople avoid them as if they were contagious, scurrying out of their way and yanking children into houses and shops.

“Ah, the strong silent type.” Achti laughs, “I was hoping for someone who was more forthcoming.”

Yuuri swallows, fingering the jewelry Viktor had given him to wear. He likes the jewelry but it jingled softly and he imagines the executor listening for the tinkling sounds in his movements.

Achti continues prattling as they make their way to camp, she trails off when the guard stops them momentarily, only to ascertain Yuuri’s identity and bow them forward.

Mila meets them in front of Viktor’s tent.

Yuuri breathes slowly, taking advantage of his status to ignore everything and slip inside. He’s about to make good on his escape when Achti coughs.

“Ah, Stars? I was hoping for a private audience with you.”

Irritated, Yuuri nods.

<<Mila, please bring us some wine and dumplings. Watered.>>

“Of course,” said Mila promptly, “Everything will be set up inside.”

“Thank you, sergeant.” Achti’s flashing green eyes bore into Mila until Yuuri nods in permission for her to leave. “They are loyal to you, I’ll give you that.”

Yuuri takes the chair to the left of the captain’s place while Achti takes one a few seats down.

“You are very angry at me, no?” Achti pouts, mouth held tense.

<<I am not angry.>>

Achtis claps, “At long last!” She grins, “You are reticent. Only answering when I ask a direct question.” She grows somber. “Very well. Not angry, noted. I have a few other questions.”

Yuuri nods.

“Are you aware of how your Elder died?”

Yuuri shakes his head.

“Are you glad they are dead?”

Yuuri nods, knowing Achti probably had a truth-sniffing spell or crystal on her person.

Achti purses her lips. “Why?”

Yuuri chews on his lip. <<They were cruel to me.>>

Achti hums, “I see. And the late Captain?”

Yuuri shrugs. <<I was never alone with the late Captain.>>

Achti nods absently, eyes narrowing at how Yuuri sidesteps her question.

Mila finally arrives with the promised wine Yuuri gratefully clutches his cup, keeping it close to his chest, under the fall of silk. She glances at Achti, almost glaring, before bowing herself out.

“And how are you finding Captain Viktor? Charming? Handsome? Good in bed? Tell me everything!” Achti smiles broadly, winking at him.

Yuuri almost fucking chokes on his wine. He coughs his lungs out for a few minutes, wine spraying the inner lining of the shroud.

Achti watches him in cold amusement. “My, what a reaction!”

Yuuri slaps his chest a few more times. <<That is private! Something between us, only!>>

“Is it, though?” Achtis chews on a dumpling in thoughtful silence, “You are a royal mage, and one of your duties is to maintain this battalion’s peace. Elder Stars failed miserably at their duty. Their royal majesties are merely wondering if you are just as inept.”

<<My teacher was cruel and petty. They drove the late Captain away with their jealousy and cruelty. Viktor is kind and attentive towards me. I love him.>>

Achti takes a long draught of her wine, rolling her eyes. “Love? What good is love, dearest Stars? Love didn’t keep you from being stolen away from your blood family. Love didn’t keep the Elder from blowing herself and the late Captain to smithereens. Love never helped anyone out of a tough situation. _Love_ is reserved for lucky bastards in happy coincidences.”

Yuuri flinches, would have gasped aloud if not for the years of training under Ruth. He’s breathing hard, his heart hammering at his ribs. <<I know. I know you are right, but I cannot help but be grateful for Viktor. He loves me and sometimes it feels like enough.>>

“Good!” said Achti in delight, toasting him with another dumpling, “At the very least it’s good to know that you are less of a fool than that bitch, Ruth.”

Yuuri squawks, drawing an amused glance from Achti. <<HOW?!>>

Achti stands, stretches carefully. “My report is going to reflect you as a wonderful little porcelain doll, but the holy twins will know you may be trusted.”

Yuuri opens his mouth to demand an answer, bites down on his tongue. <<How do you know that name and what the HELL are you talking about?!>>

Achti wags her finger at Yuuri. “Be good and keep your nose clean, doll.” She disappears through the front of the tent, Yuuri can hear her calling Mila’s name in farewell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :o


	38. Chapter 38

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im excited for the next few chapters!

“Teacher!”

All of the mages excitedly rise when he goes to meet them the next day, Obsidian makes as if to clasp his hands but pulls away at the last second.

<<I hope you’ve all slept well.>> Yuuri doesn’t bother stifling a yawn. After Achti left Yuuri had paced the tent, fruitlessly waiting for Viktor to return.

“When will we be leaving,” asks Buttercup, “There’s nothing to do in camp. Mako and Obsidian made us repair everything we could repair and here--!” She held out a sheaf of paper, “We made a list of things we couldn’t fix.”

The list is short, Yuuri forces his brain to focus. The stables need to be fire-proofed because the spell is failing, and the ironworker’s forge is faltering as well.

<<We won’t be leaving yet.>> Yuuri sympathizes with their disappointment. <<These require special materials to fix. It will have to wait until we arrive at a city. Now, I wanted to practice formations with everyone today.>>

To Yuuri’s immense pleasure everyone remembers the basic steps of the four defense formations and they go through the motions admirably. Even when Yuuri adds magic threads to their formation, it all holds together.

It’s after noon before Mila interrupts with lunch.

“We’ve word from Viktor,” murmurs Mila, watching the young mages eat. There’s amusement in her eyes but also a question as she glances at Yuuri, hidden under an athletic cowl.

<<And?>>

“We’re to be ready to go by tonight so we may eat the morning meal on the road. It sounds like he’s eager to leave.” There’s clearly more on Mila’s mind but she merely purses her lips and allows Yuuri to finish his lunch in peace.

That evening Viktor is _still_ not back and Yuuri surmises that they’re playing at politics. That however, turns out to be a blessing in disguise because Pink contacts him.

It starts as a fizzling awareness that makes his eyes smart and his mind fills with images and the essence of Pink. Yuuri stumbles away the dinner table, drawing concerned looks from Chris and Mila.

“Are you alright? Do you need help?”

Yuuri shakes his head as a pulsing image of Pink bursts bright in his mind. He rushes into the bedroom room to dig through his trunk, finds the small box with the smoky quartz and holds it tight, releasing the magic.

“ _There_ you are. Minx!”

“I didn’t know what was happening,” Yuuri belatedly raises a silencing spell. He moves to the bed, nestling in the thick duvet.

Pink just laughs at him, in Yuuri’s mind she arches an elegant brow. “Well now you know. You really should keep the stone close by. You can reject contact, you know. But anyway…”

“Yes?”

“I need your help,” said Pink apologetically, Yuuri thinks she frowns, brows wrinkling in worry.

Instantly, Yuuri sits up, blinking away his fatigue. “How can I help?”

Pink chuckles, “So eager. You’ll learn to be careful.”

“Not with you,” said Yuuri quietly, “Or Circe or Festus or—”

The image of Pink in his mind hums appreciatively and he falls silent.

“On your route, you’re sure to stop at Firthwatch, Viktor is probably friends with Commander Ducas Firth. And _that_ will give you access to files that his mage possesses.”

Yuuri waits for Pink to continue, shifting restlessly when she does not. “Okay. And you want me to steal them?”

“Well… No. I require you to learn what is in those files and let me know if it’s something that compromises a friend’s reputation.

“What friend?”

Pink hums. “Can’t say. Not won’t. But can’t. They’re holding a disclosure spell on me, little one.”

Yuuri swallows. “How will I know which file it is then?”

Pink sighs. “It will be in the mage’s _personal_ stash. Not one in their office but the bedroom.”

“Are… Is the mage a _royal_ mage?”

Pink nibbles on her lip before nodding. “Yes. Goes by Meadow. Be careful. I do not know much about them.”

“Wait!”

“I have no more information,” says Pink apologetically. The connection evaporates like a drop of water on a sizzling rock.

Yuuri curses, flinging the rock across the room before diving under the covers, determined to sleep get even a couple of hours of sleep.

 

……

………

It’s another hard three weeks before they reach the last fortified city that protects the boundaries of the empire. The castle hold spreads like a swampy toad across a large field and the city itself with its multitudes spill out in rivers of dirty streets and overflowing sewers.

Yuuri wrinkles his nose, summoning a spell that filters the air into something sweeter. Barely. He extends the spell to Viktor who glances at him, eyebrow raised.

“Was that you?”

Yuuri nods.

“You shouldn’t,” murmurs Viktor softly, “It could offend the locals. You know everyone carries magic sniffers.”

Yuuri grinds his teeth, _obviously_ he knows this. Reluctantly, Yuuri removes the spell from Viktor and himself. His nose immediately starts dripping but Yuuri ignores it, unwilling to give himself away.

As they ride closer to the true boundaries of the city rather than the squalid outskirts, a crumbling signpost welcomes them to Firthwatch.

Yuuri swallows, remembering Pink’s request.

“It’s weird no one has come out to welcome us,” remarks Chris who has already wiped his nose three times.

Mila snorts, “You really think the commander of the city is going to come out _here_ to the armpit and greet us? Too undignified.”

Although Viktor remains silent, his lips quirk in amusement, face softening.

Yuuri grins, feeling the amusement travel up the soulbond. He responds in kind and Viktor’s smile grows softer, glancing briefly at Yuuri.

With the majority of their people skirting around the city to the other side—not a very dangerous enterprise with the constant patrols and militant patrols ringing the city— Yuuri relaxes into the soft warmth of Viktor’s affection. And it seems Viktor leans into the soulbond as well, snuggling into the warmth.

It doesn’t last long.

“At long last! Captain Nikiforov! As I live and breathe!” A burly man with a face full of bright red coarse hair leaps down from a grey charger and yanks Viktor off from Carrots who almost bolts.

Yuuri snatches at Carrots’ reins, hissing when he feels something pull in his back at the jerking motion.

Chris rushes forward to take the reins, pulling Carrots aside to soothe the startled beast.

Thankfully Blue is more even-tempered and only gnaws at the bit nervously, stamping her front hooves.

Yuuri watches the man slap Viktor’s back and hug him enthusiastically while Viktor bursts out laughing, returning the gesture.

Wheezing, Viktor disentangles himself from the man and helps Yuuri dismount. “Ducas, this is Stars my royal mage and much beloved partner. Stars, this is Ducas Firth, commander and regent of Firthwatch.”

“An honor!” Booms Ducas Firth, saluting Yuuri crisply. “My own royal mage, Meadow. My sweetest darling, I’m sure you will both enjoy each other’s company.” He promptly drags Viktor off, stewards stepping forward to take their horses. This leaves Yuuri to hurry behind Viktor and Ducas Firth, his delicate silks catching on the broken stones paving the street.

Ducas Firth veers off the main road, dragging Viktor along but sending ahead everyone else. Yuuri licks his lips, unsure of where he is supposed to go.

A hand closes over his wrist and Yuuri almost screams.

But it’s only a short and stocky mage dressed in dark gray who’s startled Yuuri. They’re holding on tightly to his wrist, scripting with their left hand.

<<Firth will try to drink Viktor under the table. It won’t be fun to watch your husband keep up. Come with me and have a nice lunch.>>

Yuuri pries the stubby yet strong fingers from his hand. <<You are kind. Meadow, right?>>

Meadow nods, starts walking at a brisk pace. Yuuri notes how the people greet Meadow, some trying to catch them to speak. But Meadow brushes them off with polite apologies.

 


	39. Chapter 39

“That’s much better.” Meadow carefully slides her hat off, surprising Yuuri at how old the mage is. She must be fifty at least. She eyes him critically in turn. “You’re a young’un. What, did your Elder pluck you from your mommy’s breast?”

Yuuri flushes, unsure what to say.

“Captain Nikiforov is a real looker though you’re cute too,” she states, head tipping to the side, measuring, mouth working with her next question. “How is he at—" She makes a rude gesture.

“I’m not answering _that_ kind of question anymore!” It makes him angry that everyone is only interested in _that_ conversation, whether Viktor would or wouldn’t sleep with him.

Meadow snorts. “Well I’m sure he had fun breaking you in, at least.”

Yuuri makes a snap decision to follow through with Pink’s request. His stomach sours at Meadow’s callow words, _breaking in_. Disgusting.

“There’s food over here,” says Meadow, gesturing at a table, “You can relieve yourself in that second room, mind you don’t fall into the pit. I’ve had a young’un or two slip into the pit and let me tell you the smell will _not_ come out for days. Make yourself comfortable, it will be a while a’fore Firth and Nikiforov are back.”

Meadow goes to the bookshelf on one side of the room, selects a tome and settles in with some cookies and a glass of milk.

“You’ve…ah no duties today?”

“Not ‘til later, hun. Don’t worry. And my own office is just a few doors down if I do need to do something.” Meadows eyes flicker up to Yuuri. “I didn’t know Firth and Nikiforov knew each other. And so well. They must have been friends when training at Bourda’s.”

Yuuri blew his long bangs out with a puff of air, “Neither did I. He never mentioned it.”

“Interesting.” Meadow took a long sip of her glass. With one last measuring look at Yuuri she went back to her book.

He awoke with a start. Meadow tapped on his knee again. “They’re back.”

“Mmph.” Yuuri straightened up, expanding his lungs with a deep breath, “What time is it.”

“One?”

Yuuri scrubs at his forehead, his back aches with the long hours spent sleeping on the sofa. He succeeds in scraping his hair back, it’s long enough for a decent braid now. He should keep it neater. Yuuri straightens his silks and thanks Meadow for the quiet evening.

“Sure. Don’t be a stranger.” She smiled cryptically and bids him good night.

A guardswoman leads Yuuri through the castle to a set of double doors, pushing them open. “Have a nice night.”

Yuuri ducks his head in thanks.

The door barely snicks shut before he hears the unpleasant sounds of retching. And laughter. The living room is hazy with cigar smoke. It tickles Yuuri’s throat pleasantly.

Yuuri keeps his silks on because the laughter is from a stranger; who reveals themselves to be a drunk Ducas Firth.

“Ah the beautiful, ravishing Stars!” Ducas grabs Yuuri around the waist, twirls him around once before letting him go. Yuuri squeals, landing off balance and twisting his ankle. He falls rather than injure himself and Ducas winces. “Ah, let me help you.”

After a moment of hesitation, Yuuri takes the proffered hand.

When Yuuri steps into the bedroom he finds it hazy with grey smoke as well. The bathroom is worse, if possible. That’s where he finds Viktor, his silver hair matted and greasy, leaning over the chamber pot. As he empties his stomach once more, with nothing coming up, Ducas comes up behind Yuuri, a hand coming to grip his shoulder, squeezing.

Yuuri slides to Viktor’s far side.

<<He needs medicine.>>

Firth purses his lips. “Vitya never _was_ able to hold his liquor very well.”

Viktor retches once more but his hand comes up to make a rude gesture at Firth.

“Come, Stars. We’ll visit Meadow and concoct something for this poor sod’s stomach. No, no leave him, he’ll be fine.”

Nervously Yuuri smooths Viktor’s shoulders. “Go on,” says Viktor, trying and failing for dignity, “I’ll be fine.”

Yuuri sighs.

The castle isn’t quiet, full of people working and moving about even at the late hour.

“Evil never sleeps so the castle does not either,” says Firth, tapping his nose and winking. Yuuri has the sinking suspicion that Firth is trying to tell him something.

Meadow’s bedroom door is carved with wolves and flora reminiscent of the north. “Husband,” she intones, “It is late.”

“I know, dearest,” says Firth earnestly, “But Viktor is puking his guts out. Please? Pretty please?”

Meadow huffs. “Very well. Come inside.”

Heart leaping, Yuuri follows Meadow inside. She takes off the silk sheet she’d thrown over her head hastily. “Honestly, Ducas. One of these days you’ll kill me with your capriciousness.”

“Never!” laughs Ducas grabbing Meadow up by the hips and hoisting her high overhead, she laughs but slap at his hands.

“Down, boy!”

“Yes mistress!” Ducas laughs and twirls her around once more before releasing her. He turns towards Yuuri, hands grasping and eyes twinkling. Yuuri backs into the door with a thud.

“Ducas! He’s not your property! Hands off.” Meadow shoots Yuuri an apologetic look. “Come, Stars. I will show you my potion for reversing alcohol sickness.” She winks, smiling. “It’s top secret so no blabbing.”

Yuuri feels like he’s a voyeur, watching Meadow and Ducas flirt and talk while Meadow sets about making a potion that Yuuri has no interest in. Furtive glances around the room reveal no cabinets or side doors. Wherever Meadow houses her files, it’s not here.

“Ah drat, I’ve run out of dillweed.” Meadow is holding one glowing hand over the small ceramic cooking pot, her other is steadily stirring the simmering contents. She gives Yuuri a long glance. “Ducas, you have the key to my heart and my supplies.”

“I have no idea what your dillyweed looks like,” teases Ducas, landing a kiss to Meadow’s jaw. “And Im much too drunk to care about getting the right one.”

“Then take Stars, hurry. The batch will burn soon.”

“Very well,” says Ducas, “Come along little Stars. Constellations!”

Ducas leads Yuuri down several flights of stairs, past the kitchens and down to a artificially cooled cellar. Ducas unlocks it with a key from deep within his pockets. Yuuri’s eyes widen at the three walls that are stacked up to the ceiling with wooden cupboards, each neatly labelled. There must be hundreds of boxes of herbs and plants.

Meadow likes to brew.

The fourth wall is more interesting to Yuuri, a large desk is shoved against the wall and there are sturdy-looking cabinets three rows high that line the rest of the space.

Ducas wanders around the space, throws himself onto the small chair that must be Meadow’s. “It’s not alphabetized.” He gestures at the three walls of tiny cupboards. Hundreds.

“Oh fuck,” whispers Yuuri, forgetting himself.

Ducas booms with laughter. “Oh I like you! Viktor is _very_ lucky man. Eh?” He leers up at Yuuri. “I’d like to be lucky as well.” Ducas pushes away from the desk, spreads his legs apart, the material taut over his muscular thighs and manhood. His eyes glitter darkly, “Surely you’ve wondered what it would be to experience another man. What are you? Man or woman? I am not the picky sort. But Viktor assures me you are warm . . . and enthusiastic.” He pats his thighs in invitation.

Yuuri backs up, shakes his head.

The moment stretches, Ducas’ eyes glittering, glowing and burning. Then he exhales, rising from the chair. “Ah, my loss. I am going to check up on Viktor to make sure he hasn’t drowned in his own vomit, eh? Make sure the door is locked behind you.”

Heart slamming into his ribs, Yuuri rips his silks off, gasping and shaking. The imprint of Firth’s hands on his waist still burn, the squeeze to his shoulder still ripples under Yuuri’s skin. He shudders.

But he has no time to fall apart.

Yuuri scrambles his gloves off and goes for the cabinets. None of which are locked.

“Oh bless you,” mutters Yuuri, wondering who he is blessing even as he says it. Ducas for his horrifying forward proposition or Meadow for leaving these unlocked.

Now he has to figure out which one. . .

A friend of Pink. Okay so probably, hopefully a mage. Yuuri ignores anything that has to do with troop movements or agriculture reports.

It was also something that could compromise said friend. Yuuri ignores anything local or older than a year.

Yuuri mouths along as he reads, conscious of Meadow waiting, waiting, waiting.

_\--There are some doubts as to the authenticity of Tiger’s claims but if anything does come of it Lady Irulen will surely be aware that her precarious position will further deteriorate —_

Close enough. Yuuri hopes. He curls his fist, flattening his palm across the air over the file and sucks the material words into a ball. The file is big. The ball is heavy. Yuuri stuff it into his mouth, holding it gently between his teeth and tongue. He almost gags at the acrid taste of magic.

Swiftly Yuuri replaces the file and goes to the wall of herbs. He holds his hand out and high, trying to remember what the fuck a dillweed is. Magic flows up his chest, through his face but Yuuri blocks it, the spell would ruin the ball of words. Stymied for a moment the magic spell stings at Yuuri’s sinuses until it figures out that there is a conduit in the form of bicep, forearm, palm, fingers. The spell and portions of Yuuri’s energy flows out into the world.

All three walls of cupboards rattle as the spell searches, a drawer pops open to Yuuri’s left, near the ceiling, the neighboring drawers fly open as well, flinging herbs and plant matter everywhere. Yuuri slips his gloves on, stuffs his hat onto his head, and grabs a fistful of dillweed from the floor.


	40. Chapter 40

Viktor gratefully drinks the brew Yuuri brings him. Ducas hangs around, stating that there’s no point in sleeping because it’s breakfast time and they’ve work to do this day.

“Stars. Come along!” Ducas is already dragging Viktor out of the door.

Yuuri shakes his head in refusal, the ball of words is fast disintegrating.

“Stars—”

Yuuri almost laughs, Viktor has the gall to be worried despite looking and smelling like a trainwreck. It warms Yuuri to see this. He had known, logically that Viktor was imperfect but to see this. . . It feels forbidden.

<<I wish to bathe first. Only a few minutes. I will meet you in the dining hall.>>

“Perfect!” booms Ducas while ignoring Viktor’s protests. “Vitya and I will head to the bathhouse downtown. We will meet you and Meadow in Hael’s for lunch.”

He listens only for a moment for Viktor and Ducas to disappear before rushing for the stack of empty pages Viktor always keeps handy.

Yuuri throws the papers across the ground, falls to his knees, and starts vomiting.

The expulsion lasts a minute, but every second drags. Ink and traces of stomach enzymes sticking to his lips and face.

The pages are a confusing mess. Unable to control how he splat the words back out, they are spread across pages haphazardly, some only catching a few phrases, others overlapping whole paragraphs.

Yuuri wipes his mouth with the heel of his hand, feeling clammy and nauseous.

He should have been ready with water or something to get the nasty taste of magic and ink out of his mouth. He coughs, gagging at the burning aftertaste.

There’s a crackling of uncontrolled energy behind his eyes that Yuuri blinks away. He can’t give in to fatigue now.

He has work to do.

And has to prevent Firth from killing Viktor before their first real battle. Yuuri immediately dismisses the urge to call Pink and tell her about the report. That will have to wait a few days.

………….

………….

“Pink!”

“Yes, madame.” With the grace of a trained dancer, Pink rises to do her captain’s bidding. It’s dull work, day after day. But there are occasions of brightness, such as when she meets with friends or when the captain leaves her alone for a day or two to play politics at the local castle they are visiting. Without a battalion nor frontline duty to worry about, both Pink and the Captain can devote their energies to keeping the peace within the empire’s borders.

It's one of those lonely days when her Captain leaves for extended periods to play politics, leaving Pink to board at some lonesome inn, that she finds time to dance.

On such a day when she’s working up a sweat in a hidden room, behind locked doors she feels the pull of a familiar boy. Warmth and affection course through her as Stars attempts to reach out through the quartz she gave him.

Despite it being clear that Stars is happy with Viktor, Pink still worries. That bastard Baravnoskaya had sent them to dangerous lands, areas full of encroaching demons that must be stopped. And Stars had no one to help him.

As she touches the smoky quartz, establishing the two-way connection, Pink reconsiders the thought. Stars had Festus and herself as stalwart supports. Everyone else would waver in what they would or could offer but she knew Festus had taken a deep liking to the boy.

“Hello there.”

“H-hi.”

Pink was amused by Stars’ bashfulness. It had been a week since she’d contacted the boy, Pink doubted he had found anything to share with her. “Stars. About my request. . .It was foolish of me. I only asked because I was at my wit’s end and—”

“So you figured it out?”

Even with a distant and spotty connection, Pink could feel Stars’ intense intelligence and curiosity through the connection. “No,” she admitted, frowning. “I’m still in a pickle but I wanted to apologize for—”

“I have the file. Or rather. I have _a_ file. I only had a few minutes, so I apologize in advance because it’s probably not the correct one.”

In her mind’s eye Stars droops; wilts like a delicate jungle flower in the punishing arid heat of the desert.

“Nonsense,” she says tartly, “Read me what you’ve found. I have time.”

“Me too,” says Stars, hesitating a moment.

“Something else on your mind?”

“No,” says Stars, “My first real battle was a few days ago. It’s stupid.”

“No, tell me,” insists Pink, knowing that her curiosity spills over to Stars. “I would like to know that you are safe.”

Stars smiles, “I am safe. Everything was fine. I mean. . .Several people were injured, which was all my fault, but—”

“Don’t be stupid, you’re not playing games out there,” said Pink, rolling her eyes, then wincing when Stars flinches. “I. . .I mean. It’s war. You wouldn’t know. Yet. But people will die. Despite doing your damndest that they don’t.”

They are both silent for a few precious minutes, just feeling the connection and basking in each other’s presence.

“You’d be a good mom.”

Pink’s eyes fly open.

Stars, on the opposite side of the land, is blushing and stammering, “I’m _so sorry_. I didn’t mean—I’m not insinuating that—Oh _no_.”

Pink laughs, heart bubbling with affection and . . .love. She worries. It’s not good to become too attached to other royal mages. “No no. Now that you’ve said it and the idea has been planted, it’s too late.” She teases, enjoying the spurts and sparkles of embarrassment and self-chiding from Stars. “Be at peace, Stars. Be at peace.”

After a minute Stars calms down somewhat. “L-let me read you that report.”

“Sure.”

_There have been more than a dozen different incidents in the wake of Lord Myrstar and Duchess—cousin of their royal majesties— Irulen of Selv. Whether these are coincidences or the work of saboteurs, their majesties insist that Irulen of Selv is innocent, that she—as the descendant of the original Architects—would be hard pressed to try and dissolve that which her family has built. That the royal mages in the Lord and the Duchess’ employ enjoy more freedoms than most is unrelated. This per Lord, Duchess, and their royal majesties. Whether this is true or not, or is the simple benefit of having good connections is now in dispute thanks to a verbal report submitted by the R.M. Tiger under the tutelage of R.M. Dog Ear and currently performing—_

“It’s not the right file,” interrupts Pink, tapping her lips thoughtfully.

“Oh. . .I’m—”

“Don’t apologize,” said Pink, surprised at how vehement Stars’ despair is even through the shitty connection. It’s all-consuming, like a tar that sucks you under, slowly consuming your legs, your hips until your drown with the thick black stuff clogging your throat.

Pink gasps for air when Stars breaks the connection. Immediately tries to reach Stars once more but he deadens the connection, refusing to see her.

Well then.

Only a stubborn child would have survived under the bitch Elder Stars, may her ghost never find peace. Pink rubs a rounded edge of the smoky quartz. Sets her mind to Festus, the large cynical man with a laugh he cultivated to be mean. Pink remembers decades ago when that laugh was softer.

“Aye, what can I do for the best dancer around?”

“Who is currently bound to Myrstar and Uly?”

“Uh, buy me dinner first?” Festus scowls, the connection is poor and she misses whatever inane thing he says next.

“Stars has a report that questions if they’re truly working on behalf of the crown.”

Festus sucks in a breath. “Dunno. Haven’t kept track of those trollops in a few years. You know it’s only orgies and the green spirals for them. Party crowd.”

“Is it though?” Pink paces the small private office her Captain had deemed proper for a mage. It’s a meter by a meter in size. A closet, really.

The first flicker of doubt sizzles through their connection. To Pink’s satisfaction, Festus takes his time in thinking about the answer.

“Yes? Well. . .To be honest I haven’t taken partic’lar care with those ones. You know who _would_ know, though? Laurel. That scheming skunk has lots of fingers in lots of coochies, if you know what I mean.”

“You’re disgusting,” said Pink, laughing despite herself. “You’re just mad you owe her a thousand gold gewgaw.”

“ _Anyway!_ So how did our wittle Stars get his wittle hands on what sounds like an interesting report? Hmmm?”

“Dunno.” Pink mimicked Festus’ lazy drawl. “But it drones on for several pages. You know he’s in the thick of it, right now?”

“Of course he is, Baravnoskaya sent him off, didn’t she? He ought to be knee deep in guts by now. Poor thing. I never had a strong stomach for battlefield injuries, vomited at least once a day.”

“I always thought you had a scratchy voice because of all the dick you chugged,” said Pink, pleased with Festus’ booming laughter.

“Well, and that. I also enjoy a good smoke when I can sneak it.”

“Is your captain still trying to get plugged up with your spawn?”

“That woman doesn’t _listen_ , I keep telling her I’m sterile and she keeps insisting I drink these disgusting potions that supposedly reverse the irreversible. I think my head’s getting chafed from all the times we— Oop, speaking of—”

The connection drops, leaving Pink feeling alone and cold. She wraps a shawl snuggly around her shoulders. This far north is always cold until early summer, the current late spring weather the rest of the land was enjoying hadn’t reached them this early in the year.

Well, all snow must melt at some point. No season no matter how brutal or long, can last forever. Everything ends eventually. Thoughtfully Pink sets out, determined to stay busy until Stars decides to contact her again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> R.M. is Royal Mage
> 
>  
> 
> Thank you so much for all of your lovely comments. I will answer them later because i am currently bogged down with work and would prefer to spend my time editing and posting up new chapters. For now.... 
> 
> I feel like the past two chapters are setting up for a lot of future things that Im very excited for.  
> Also, pre-pre warning there will be a lot of gore and grossness in the upcoming chapters. Please feel free to tap out for those, I will be posting the chap summary at the end so you do not have to read it.
> 
> Thanks so much for reading!!!!!!!


	41. Chapter 41

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)

 

 

 

When Viktor beds down that night, Yuuri is sitting in bed with a softly glowing orb hanging over his head. A fine silver chain with a pointed scrien hanging from the end, the scrien would occasionally twist on its axis, throwing tiny rainbows across the map spread out across Yuuri’s legs.

“No clues as to where the demons are coming from?” Viktor yawned and winced at a sore shoulder Yuuri had helped Rocci heal earlier that day.

“Actually,” murmured Yuuri, fingers trailing across his chin in thought, “I think I do.” The scrien spun again and became cloudy before returning to its usual clear pink state. “See the color change? That’s not normal.”

Viktor hooked his chin onto the edge of the bed, unable to see the map or what Yuuri was pointing at, but it was a good position to watch Yuuri without drawing attention. “Oh?”

“You know you can come up here,” mutters Yuuri, eyes darting over to him then back to the map. “It’s technically your bed.”

“And technically when we married your well-being became my top priority while we are not engaged in battle,” replies Viktor. He holds a slim hand up at the beginning of Yuuri’s protest. “I understand that you are uncomfortable with me sleeping on the floor. But this is temporary, until you understand that we are equals. And even then, it won’t be _true_ for a few more years.” Viktor watches Yuuri blush in embarrassment, lips rolling in and out of his mouth in thought.

“Well, can you at least sit up here while I show you what I think is going on?”

Viktor chuckles, patting Yuuri’s cheek as he plops onto the bed, sitting across from Yuuri. The peeved tone is adorable, Viktor feels his chest flutter with affection. So cute. “Report, Royal Mage Stars.” Viktor uses his Captain voice, winking at Yuuri when the playful tone earns him a scowl.

“The last three skirmishes we engaged in were all along this southwestern route.” Yuuri thumbs small glowing green dots onto the map. “The scrien turns cloudy at those points. If we extend that same southwestern line further—” Yuuri carefully allows the scrien to float above the line, a few inches along it turns cloudy once more.

“Brilliant,” says Viktor absently, he takes one of the pencils lying by Yuuri’s leg and marks that spot with a small X. “There’s a village nearby. They might not have been attacked yet or they might already be destroyed. The river runs parallel to your line, did you notice?”

“Oh,” Yuuri’s eyes widen, he curls in on himself, “I didn’t. . .I’m sorry.”

Viktor sighs, “I’m not scolding you. Just pointing it out. I wouldn’t have noticed the pattern of battles until days from now. We’re working together, Heartshine.” Viktor hates the fear and shame that’s accumulated in Yuuri’s heart. His dear little mage takes every mistake so hard. . .Even things that are not mistakes. “If anything, I should be the one apologizing. We didn’t use the encounter from a few days ago as a tally of clashes,” He taps the middle green dot. “Since it was only three of those—” Viktor’s mouth twists in distaste, “ _things_ that we encountered. Why did you include it?”

Yuuri shrugs, eyes fluttering closed. “I don’t know. But you’re right. It was stupid of me to include—”

“ _Yuuri_.”

The mage flinches and Viktor yanks his hand back when sparkles of magic run up Yuuri’s arm. “But what if the line is wrong?! You can’t predict a pattern with only two—” Yuuri’s next words dry up when Viktor reaches over, ignoring the stinging nettles when it runs into him.

“Honey, it’s _fine._ You saw the scrien react.”

“But—” Yuuri clutches at his own head. Viktor needs him to be calm and logical, not a fucking mess. “You’re right. Even if I’m wrong, there are bound to be more skirmishes and we can get more data.”

Viktor watches Yuuri in worry. “That’s right. But honestly? I’m 99% sure you are right, is the scrien reliable or not?”

Trick question. Yuuri made the scrien a few years ago. It’s entirely possible the spell attached to the crystal is failing. “Guess it probably might be,” Yuuri mumbles, taking a deep breath.

Viktor arches an eyebrow, chuckling in amusement. “You’d make a fine politician, honey.”

“That’s low,” says Yuuri, admiring at how easy Viktor makes it to forget their worries and the dangers that surround them. “You’re saying I’m mealy-mouthed.”

“No! That’s not—" Viktor twitches, smiling in relief when Yuuri grins. “ _That’s_ low.” He pinches Yuuri’s cheek. “Can you make the line with the scrien again? We can check other points just in case. Follow your gut.”

A beat of silence and then Yuuri wraps the end of the fine chain around his pinky once more. “Thanks, Viktor.” Yuuri keeps his head bowed over the map. “I know it’s annoying to have to get me back on track when I doubt myself, I promise to try harder.”

Viktor ruffles Yuuri’s hair, a lump in his throat preventing any verbal response.

The scrien does activate at two other points which Viktor marks but they’re at random areas of the map, one too far south and the other too deep in the swamp land to reach without drowning every man, woman, and child in mud.

“I can’t believe we have to fight against monsters _and_ this forsaken swamp.” Viktor sighs, reaching over to pet Yuuri’s arm.

Yuuri hums, knowing there’s no point in that conversation. “Are you sure you want to sleep on the floor?”

“I’m sure,” says Viktor, moving to slide off the bed.

……

……

Yuuri struggles upright, fighting the mud that’s trying to suck him under. Mako’s shield is shaky at best and she’s slowly sliding down the muddy slope. Slogging against the tide of fatigue and mud, Yuuri reaches her, slinging her over his shoulder.

“I got it!” She shouts in his ear, “I got it!”

Yuuri scrabbles for purchase, even as he lends his own magic to the shield and Mako gasps at the tidal wave she fights to control while balancing on her teacher’s shoulder. The magic bursts from her hands in steady, electric waves. The shield burns brighter, the energy from Yuuri and Mako evening out.

“Stars!”

Mako is lifted from his shoulders and Yuuri sags in relief. Someone grips him, dragging him onto flatter ground where he proceeds to sink an inch into the mud. He takes thirty seconds to breathe, to let his body recover before he rolls back onto his knees. <<Who else is missing?>>

Wasting even that bit of magic annoys Yuuri.

“No one. All the lesser mages are accounted for, sir!” The foot soldier holds out a cup of warmed water which Yuuri gulps through a straw. Yuuri nods.

<<Where is the captain?>>

“He’s on the eastern push. Reports say it’s going well.” Chris plops down on the mud next to Yuuri, breathing hard. “You want to do the last push now or—”

<<Now.>> Yuuri could see the fatigue in the mages. Mako and Obsidian were the only ones left who had anything to give. He’d forced the other four to retreat due to their injuries and exhaustion.

Chris nods in approval, rolling to his feet. “Reform your lines!” The lieutenant’s knack for bellowing had terrified Yuuri at first, reminding him of Yakov’s tendencies but after a month and two battles, Yuuri no longer flinched.

When they regroup, Yuuri is left standing in the middle of the third row of soldiers, stomach churning at the desolate landscape before them. The swamp’s mud stinks like ass and the trees are all barbed. The deadly creatures that are trying to encroach onto the land seem to burst from the gaseous bubbles that the swamp produces.

Yuuri has the sinking suspicion that the portals that the demon-creatures are coming through are underground. <<Lieutenant.>>

“What?”

Yuuri bites his lip. There’s no point in asking why the hell the mud is so wet. If it is as Yuuri suspects then there’s nothing they can do about an underground river. It’s worrisome though when the ground opens up, sucking men, mud, and creatures into darkness. <<I’m ready.>> Yuuri looks to his left. Glimmer nods grimly. To his right Obsidian gives him a thumbs up, his usually smiling mouth set into a grimace. <<On your mark, lieutenant.>>

 “We’re ready when you are, sir!” The group leaders all give Chris the ready signal.

Chris nodded at him, eyes glimmering in the shadowed safety of his helmet.

Chris steadies himself, willing the trembling of his arms and legs to lessen. They’d been fighting since dawn, but the waves of demons and monsters wouldn’t lessen until they found the portal letting them through.

“Ready!” Chris looks at the soldiers around him, everyone exhausted and on the verge of collapse. “Steady!”

Yuuri readies the magic at his disposal, feels the electricity gathering at his hips, his breast, filling his mind and muscles with the potential of the sun. Ready to explode.

“Go!”

Mako lowered the shield.

With wild, desperate screams the soldiers leapt forth, almost immediately ambushed by giant, glowing red centipedes with hungry mouths. The monsters had been holding their breath too explode out of the mud, hungry to tear them apart.

Yuuri’s stomach clenches, wondering who is controlling these creatures. Is it another mage? Is it the neighboring country?

 “Where is it?!” Chris screams at Yuuri over the deafening noise of war, of people being torn apart.

Yuuri pushes past the safety of the first line of soldiers, many who cry out in alarm, in fear.

If they lost Stars, they would lose _everything,_ but if they lost this battle none of them would get out of the swamp in one piece. The soldiers try to keep up, but they’re wearing heavy metal armor and Stars is dressed in cotton and silk.

Yuuri pushes past, unconscious of how he screams in terror when a squirming mass of maggots crawl up his leg, forming a hungry seeking mouth. Yuuri swats it away, claps his hands together, spreading his hands wide with violence. Flames shoot forth, burning a trail that the mud quenched almost immediately.

Yuuri’s breaths draw in more moisture than air, he’s drowning, Yuuri stumbles, coughing and unable to yank his feet out of the mud.

The portal is near. It pulses, dark and happy in his mind. Whoever. Whatever controlled the portal was happy at the death and the misery.


	42. Chapter 42

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: elements of torture
> 
> If you want to skip this chapter feel free to read the synopsis at the end  
> thanks for reading!!

Whoever controlled the portal fed from the misery and pain.

And it didn’t care whose misery that was.

The wind shifted. Yuuri froze, feeling a hungry and happy gaze focusing on him. He was naked and alone with that delighted gaze.

Time slowed to a crawl as the gaze leered over every inch, every scrap Yuuri had saved from being torn apart by Ruth, by Yakov, by _everyone_.

Nakedness could be covered up with clothes, with hands if need be. But having one’s coiled heart examined like a particularly disgusting cockroach was unbearable.

The hungry gaze grasped for Yuuri, wanted to create a millennia of nightmares in which to pull every scream and happiness from him.

Leaving only a husk.

Until nothing remained of the boy named Yuuri but wisps of brittle hair and skin so dry it cracked at being seen.

_There, there. It’s not like they did it on purpose._

Yuuri screams in pain, the voice was a barbed tongue, slick and invading the inside of him, turning him inside out with the image of what could be done not only to his body but to his mind.

_You are bright._

_It will be fun to have you._ The thing hisses, slithering oily pads down Yuuri’s back. Yuuri cries out, arching away, but the phantom touch follows him gleefully, delighting in Yuuri’s disgust.

_Will entertain me….many millennia. Will make you…_

_Last._

_There, there. They did not know._ It croons into Yuuri’s ear, phantom teeth nibbling his ear.

A bright image of two stars burns Yuuri’s mind, one rising and one setting simultaneously. It was as if his eyeballs were working in opposite directions, tearing at the delicate neurons and leaving a gaping wound in his face.

In the deep recesses of his mind, in the dark calm where nothing reached, that only lit up with the coming of death, Yuuri wondered how a being so alien, so horrifying, could exist. What kind of deity would be so cruel to bring forth such a creature?

The ground rumbled underneath Yuuri, and though Chris snatched for him, Yuuri slid through a dark crevice into the dark earth.

………

……..

Yuuri tumbles down a few meters into a dark, wet cavern. Breathless and aching from the contact with the happy gaze, Yuuri lands in a crumpled heap.

Slowly, Yuuri stretches out, groaning. Momentarily his minds clears, the smell of the swamp comes flooding back, blessedly rank and normal.

The portal! Yuuri gasps when he senses the glittering magic brush his senses.

“Stars!”

Yuuri cranes his head, Chris peers down at him.

The hungry gaze is momentarily distracted by the very trick used to trap Yuuri. It searches like a mole in the dark, thin tendrils waving in the aether. Yuuri quails, trembling and whimpering.

He has to move.

He has to do _something._

Yuuri lays uselessly, unable to even cry.

A rope is thrown down the hole, hitting Yuuri’s leg. Chris rappels into the cavern and just stands there, head swinging back and forth.

“Stars!” Chris breathes in relief when he spots a crumpled form in the mud.

Yuuri breathes harshly, unable to do anything. Unable to do this _goddamned job!_ He lifts a finger and points at the portal. It was a swirling dark thing pulsing energy.

“Hurry,” he rasps, “Hurry. It’s coming back.”

Chris scoops him up, carefully supporting his head. “Are you going to die?” More people rappel into the cavern, all looking frightened.

Yuuri shakes his head. Chris shouts instructions, rubbing a comforting circle into Yuuri’s shoulder. Before Yuuri can blink twice Obsidian is crouching by Chris.

“Just make sure Stars doesn’t die,” is Chris’ terse instruction. Obsidian murmurs something incomprehensible, but he hugs Yuuri warmly.

Within a few minutes a portable cannon is lowered into the cavern, but the hungry gaze was back.

Yuuri lay there weakly, able only to whimper.

_Tired, little one?_

_So weak._

_Come rest in glorious purpose. To fulfill your destiny._

_Come._

The voice hisses in his ear.

Yuuri gasps and pushes Obsidian away. He rolls onto his stomach, deaf to Obsidian’s cries and to the clatter of soldiers setting up the portable cannon nearby.

He crawls forward; Yuuri bends his right knee, reaching with his left arm. Pulls and pushes forward an inch. Progress towards the happy and hungry gaze that aches to devour him. It would give him everything. Yuuri would never have to worry about his future, he would never have to guess his place or purpose again.

It wouldn’t give Yuuri a choice. He would be bound up in thorns and chains, and never have to guess or know anything but torture again.

Yuuri bends his left knee, reaching with his right hand for a stone outcropping, push off and pull. He reaches towards the glowing portal, fingers aching to touch the mass of color that was starting to coalesce and reach out in turn. . .

“Whoa there,” Chris catches him, holds him in a firm hug while the soldiers quickly finished readying the cannon, unceremoniously setting it off with an earth-shattering explosion.

Yuuri’s ears ring as the happy, hungry gaze shrieks in anger.

It shrieks in unfiltered delight at being stymied because there would _be other chances!_

_Oh yes. There would be other opportunities to steal this delicious morsel and it already had so many delicious little squirming bundles of flesh to play with, but this newest one was sooo intriguing and—_

The screaming wouldn’t stop, it wouldn’t _stop_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri comes in contact with an entity that opens the portals. The entity becomes interested in yuuri and mentally tortures him before yuuri breaks free. Chris and the soldiers come to rescue yuuri. They blow the portal up with an old fashioned cannon but yuuri is still in the entity's thrall. The only clue he gets about what's going on is a picture of a binary star system rotating in opposite directions.


	43. Chapter 43

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading!! i love you all!
> 
> Also 
> 
>  
> 
> TW for graphic gore
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> D:

The screaming wouldn’t stop, it wouldn’t _stop_.

Viktor crushed Yuuri to his chest, rocking him forward and backwards for hours while the mage screamed.

Yuuri hadn’t been coherent since the battle, he would wake up screaming and thrashing, scratching at himself until he bled, sobbing about _Tl’chikgkotl_.

“Obsidian!” Viktor called out for the mage impatiently.

Tentatively, Viktor released Yuuri and the little mage lolled limp in his arms onto the bed.

The lesser mage rushed into the bedroom holding a pair of thick woolen gloves.

“Sorry. The lieutenant kept asking me all these questions—”

“Fine, fine,” said Viktor impatiently, taking advantage of Yuuri being unconscious to pull the gloves on, covering the bloodied nails. “We need a silencing spell. Around the tent.”

“Yes sir.” Obsidian gazed at his teacher fearfully.

A moment later Yuuri started stirring, whimpering.

“Hurry,” said Viktor sharply.

“I’m on it, sir.” Obsidian’s dark eyes sparkled with magic, his lips pressing into a frown of concentration for a moment, his boyish face glowing with unnatural light.

Viktor felt when the silencing spell was in place, the noises from outside became muted against the canvas material of the tent.

Just in time too. Yuuri arched off the bed, mouth opening into an ugly wailing slash.

Obsidian winced, decided to bow himself out of the tent. Seeing teacher in agony made Obsidian fear for his own safety. If Stars couldn’t fight off whatever was behind the portals how did anyone else stand a chance?

……

…….

Viktor rubbed Yuuri’s arms, forcing himself not to weep. It had already been a day and nothing worked on Yuuri. Not yelling. Nor magic from the lesser mages, or bitter smelling salts from Rocci.

Yuuri couldn’t eat or swallow water, his mouth was an endless scream or else he repeated a litany of ‘ _Tl’chikgkotl-Tl’chikgkotl-Tl’chikgkotl-Tl’chikgkotl’_ deep within his throat, each syllable guttural and foreign.

Viktor refused to leave Yuuri alone even to eat during these fits.

Night fell by increments before swallowing them all in darkness and the slow chirping of crickets.

Viktor curled up on the large bed with Yuuri, his beloved’s voice having given up a few hours ago, but Yuuri’s mouth still moved, eyes still roving behind closed lids. Yuuri’s throat strained with the vehemence of his terror.

In a fit of desperation, Viktor reached for Yuuri’s fear and instead of flinching away from the onslaught of terror, slid up the soulbond, feeling along the tendrils in a clumsy fashion. Yuuri was here _somewhere._ The soulbond was a magical manifestation of their bond, right? Viktor didn’t know how a soulbond worked but he knew something had to be done.

Viktor closed his eyes and continued traveling up the soulbond, clumsily feeling along the magical line that connected Yuuri to him.

Cold winds blasted Viktor’s exposed face as he crawled along a dirty, oily line. Viktor’s hands came away greasy with each inch traversed. Every inch he traversed along the soulbond scraped darkness off, leaving a small but shining trail in his wake.

Viktor kept himself firmly attached to the soulbond, intuitively knowing he was far out of his own body and treading unknown waters, somewhere in between of nowhere and no one.

It was just Yuuri and himself.

Or it should have been.

There was another presence besides Yuuri.

A dark beast with feathery wings zipped by Viktor, fluttering near him for a moment, as if surprised to find him. Viktor could do nothing but cling to the soulbond, eyes slitted against the creature when it dove for his head a few times.

The beast pecked at him a few times before losing interest, Viktor had the distinct impression the dark creature found him unworthy of attention and was not sparing him out of mercy, but of the supremely confident belief that Viktor was useless.

 _A sack of meat_ , a voice hissed, as a dark brush of heat and fetid breath slid across his shoulders. _No brightness._

Viktor shuddered, but the creature passed on. Grimly, Viktor began moving along the soulbond once more, knowing Yuuri was here somewhere.

At some point, Viktor realized he was walking, placing one foot in front of the other, heel to toe. The soul bond was still in his hands, a dark, oily fishing line in his fist.

In increments so slowly that he only noticed the sound until it was quite loud, Viktor heard someone sobbing. Viktor forced himself to remain calm; a dozen paces further at his feet sprouted Yuuri, naked but wrapped in a snarl of thorny branches that leaked oil.

Slowly, so as to not startle him, Viktor knelt, observing how Yuuri appeared to be smeared with dark red paint. With a sickening jolt, Viktor realizes it was blood from wounds caused by the thorns.

The soulbond squirms in his hand, leaving Viktor holding a set of golden shears. Trembling in fear, Viktor reaches through the bramble to tap on Yuuri’s shoulder. The brambles catch on Viktor’s wrist, he taps Yuuri’s shoulder again.

There was a sense of urgency rising in Viktor’s chest, the fetid creature would find Yuuri and Viktor was powerless to stop it. Grimly, Viktor shook Yuuri again.

With a gasp, Yuuri opened his eyes, Viktor screamed, throwing himself back.

There was nothing in the meaty caverns of Yuuri’s face. He was crying blood and rendered tissue. In each hand he held a creamed eyeball, the bright brown easily recognizable of Yuuri’s shade and character. One limp orb, squished and leaking gelled fluid, attempted to pivot towards Viktor.

Breathing erratically, Viktor swallowed the bile rising in his throat. He plucked one squished eye from Yuuri’s hand, handing over the shears. Hurriedly, Yuuri stuffed one eye back into its socket, frowning and whimpering when he couldn’t find the second. Viktor snatched at Yuuri’s hand, giving him back the other eye.

Yuuri paused, cocking his head, before stuffing the second eye in place.

Yuuri felt at the utensil, fingers tracing the shape, figuring out the function and heft of it.

The pain of the brambles cutting into his wrist is immense, Viktor can’t imagine the pain Yuuri is in, with the brambles embedded into his flesh. Viktor’s knees shake, threatening to give out, he wants to leave this horrible place and all these memories behind.

Yuuri hesitantly touches the ruined eye in its socket before gripping the shears tightly, struggling to grasp at the thorny vines coiled around his limbs and torso. Every position he tries leaves him hopelessly tangled, shears snapping at empty air.

Viktor rolls his sleeves down, working to separate vines and branches for Yuuri to cut.

The boy seems to realize someone is actively helping him because he stops struggling in the brambles. Viktor tugs at brambles into reach for Yuuri to snip, the sick fear in his heart increasing with each moment. With an arm free, Yuuri starts seizing brambles to slash at, growing more frantic as he managed to free each limb. Viktor wants to scream, the pressure building in his head is immense.

Yuuri grips the shears tightly, drawing blood in his haste to escape.

Viktor clenches his eyes, gasping when strong hands grip his shoulders, yanking him backwards.

…………

…………

Viktor shifts slowly, taking a deep breath and releasing it. He’s warm and comfortable, but his body aches fiercely.

Ever so carefully, Viktor opens his eyes, not surprised to find the tent bright with filtered sunlight.

His arms are empty and when he jumps out of bed, his knee twists. Viktor yelps when he lands heavily with a thud.

The voices filtering into the inner tent stop abruptly, the flap flutters open and Chris strides in, helps him upright.

“Where’s—”

“Stars is fine,” Chris interrupts with a knowing look. “They told me to get you back in bed if you wake up before they return, so in you go.”

Viktor is too weak to argue, Chris manhandles him back under the comforter.

“Here’s some water.”

Viktor drinks gratefully, realizing how thirsty and hungry he is. “How long?” He wipes his mouth slowly, fingers clumsy.

“Two days.” Chris somberly puts the empty glass on the bedside table, “We sent word to Commander Firth and Meadow yesterday when Obsidian couldn’t wake either of you. We—” Chris takes a deep breath, “I was worried. They’re both on their way.”

“Fuck,” Viktor rubs at his temple, “I don’t think I’ve ever had a hangover this bad without blacking out.”

“Did you?”

Viktor looks up at Chris’ strange tone. “Black out? I don’t remember of what happened.” Two days. Viktor shakes his head, regretting the motion when his vision spins and he grows nauseous.

“Hm.” Chris looks unconvinced. “That’s convenient for Stars, isn’t it?”

“What do you mean?” Viktor tries to be rude but instead comes off as petulant.

Chris shifts from his perch at the foot of the bed. “When Stars woke up, they me that a demon overwhelmed him, and by association, you. Your royal mage insists he doesn’t remember much of anything and that neither would you. It’s convenient, right?” Chris narrows his eyes.

“Well I certainly can’t contradict him,” said Viktor carefully, “I don’t remember much besides. . . Being scared. And I remember. . .” Viktor remembers the feeling of fetid breath across his shoulders hissing, _No brightness_. “An oppressive feeling.”

Chris grimaces, “Find out what Stars is hiding. More importantly, find out if it’s something that’s going to get us all killed.”

Viktor shoves Chris away when the tent flap opens and Yuuri steps in.

Yuuri throws himself at Viktor, summoning a strong wind to buffet Chris out of the room with a yelp.

It’s not Yuuri’s sweet smile that makes Viktor pause however, it’s Chris’ stupid traitorous suspicions about Yuuri. About Stars.

“Yuuri. . .”

Viktor cups Yuuri’s face, taking a moment to breathe, to _think_. He slowly strokes Yuuri’s upturned face with the back of his fingers.

“Yes?” Yuuri’s voice is a rattling scrape, he leans into the good strength of Viktor, safe and _here_.

“What did we. . .What _was_ that?”

Yuuri lowers his gaze, nosing into Viktor’s chest, hands sliding up to his shoulders. “Please. I don’t want to think about it. Please. . .”

Viktor caves, arms winding under Yuuri’s shoulders to lean into the warmth. He kisses the top of Yuuri’s head. “I can’t remember much.”

With a small whine, Yuuri hugs him tighter. “That’s because I. . . took your memories. Pleasedon’tbemad.”

Viktor rubs the mage’s arms, pondering this. His head is splitting open. Is that a result of Yuuri removing the memories or the result of the encounter with the demon? “Why? Do you not trust me?”

Yuuri gasps, “No! Not at all.” He hugs Viktor tighter, “What happened is too horrible. I didn’t want to burden you with those memories, so I took them.” Yuuri hides his face into Viktor’s chest, whimpering. “I didn’t want you to suffer too.”

Viktor tips Yuuri’s face up, forcing Yuuri to look him in the eye, “Yuuri. . .Are _my_ memories now yours?”

Yuuri sniffles, “I don’t _want_ to keep them. I thought I could spit them back out, but I can’t. I tried already.”

“How is this going to affect you? Will it—”

“It’s only memories,” said Yuuri softly, “There’s no danger to having them. They will fade. Eventually.” Yuuri looked down at his feet, “But they scare me.”

Troubled, Viktor leads Yuuri back to the bed. “Tell me what to do for you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~It was all a dream~  
> Just kidding. Im sure it's all fine and this isn't a big plot point or anything. [ ;) ;) ;) ]


	44. Chapter 44

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :D

When Viktor tries to coax Yuuri into the bed, Yuuri resists, breaths growing shallow.

“I’m sorry,” whispers Viktor, “I’m so sorry, my love. Please.” He wants to tuck Yuuri into the crook of his arm, where nothing but warmth and love would reach him, not hunger or jealousy, not even the nip of cold air. He’s not even sure what the _thing_ did to Yuuri. “Tell me what you need.”

“It’s alright,” whispers Yuuri in return, “Just hold me. Just keep me.”

“Always,” promises Viktor, cradling Yuuri up from the floor and into his chest, “I will always be here, waiting for you to return.” He cuddled into Yuuri.

“Can you feel it?” whispers Yuuri, toes barely scraping the ground, “You strengthened the soulbond.”

Viktor reaches out to Yuuri, pleased by how much more broadly the bond goes, he pauses in confusion because the soulbond used to taste purely of magic, Yuuri’s magic and soul, but now it had a gritty, dusty taste to it. Not unpleasant but. . .new.

“What is that?” asked Viktor in wonder, stroking the warm, firm line of Yuuri’s back, letting him back down to earth.

“It’s you,” said Yuuri, squeezing Viktor’s ribs, “You gave me a lifeline so I could climb out, and that added _you_ to the soulbond.” He cups Viktor’s cheek, stroking the gentle lines with the hard pads of his fingers. “You saved me.”

It was troubling to know the soulbond was polluted, but Yuuri looks so happy and at peace that Viktor immediately turns to the more pressing issue. “What exactly did I save you from? You told Chris it was a demon. Do you know who summoned it? That creature I encountered. . .” Viktor pauses, grimacing at a fuzzy memory of fetid breath and clumped feathers passes through the bond to him.

 _“_ The creature you met was only a pet of its master.” Yuuri squeezes his eyes shut against the flood of memories, both his own and Viktor’s, the small taste Tl’chikgkotl’s power and vision was enough to rattle Yuuri.

“Who?” Viktor grips his arms, “Who is opening up these portals? Is there a demon strong enough to open portals by itself or does it have a master? Is there a cult?”

The memory of the _thing_ , of Tl’chikgkotl grasping and tearing him apart, makes Yuuri whimper. Viktor’s questions are an onslaught. “I don’t know!” Yuuri pauses, suddenly unsure if that is true. It must be though. The vision he saw of the binary stars doesn’t call a human to mind, he has no idea what that vision means. “I don’t think demons can open portals to here. But. . .I’ve never heard of this kind of demon, that. . . takes people.”

Viktor stills, concern growing into fear. “Any person? Or mages only?”

With wide eyes, Yuuri wonders if he failed to save Viktor from the horror of knowing Tl’chikgkotl. “How?!” He chokes on the rest of his question.

“A hunch,” said Viktor, his gaze turning stern. “Yuuri, if there’s something you’re omitting because you’re scared or think—”

“I’m not! I just wonder if I missed a memory.” Yuuri winces at how suspicious that sounds, clearing his throat, Yuuri realizes how sore he is. “The Lieutenant says that I screamed?”

“Non-stop. Tl’chikgkotl,” Viktor’s mouth twists with the guttural syllables.

Yuuri hisses, slapping a hand over Viktor’s mouth. “

“Don’t!” Yuuri hisses, hands spasming on Viktor’s coat, “Saying its name calls it forth!”

Viktor winces. “You were already chanting it while you were out. Should we be concerned that whoever is controlling the demon knows we’re still here?”

“It might. We should break camp soon.”

Viktor nods and disappears for a few minutes, “I’ve told Chris to start breaking camp for tomorrow, but we have tonight to rest.”

“I’m so sorry you had to see me like that,” Yuuri sits on the bed and Viktor joins him, twining their fingers together. “I never meant to worry you.”

Viktor hushes him with a gentle kiss, “I am perfectly fine, shining heart. Now. Will the demon be able to follow us after we move?” Despite Yuuri’s continued evasions of his questions, Viktor can’t help but worry about Yuuri and not the demon. His priority is his husband, not a fucking filthy demon.

Yuuri nibbles on his lip, looking worried. “I think it jumps from portal to portal. It shouldn’t be a problem once we’re gone. It will only be a problem the next time we go looking for a portal. Even then it won’t go after the soldiers, I think.”

“It’s not interested in people who aren’t bright,” said Viktor flatly, giving Yuuri an appraising look. “It doesn’t care about people without magic.”

The temperature in the tent drops a few degrees, Yuuri flinches but he agrees. “It only cares about killing those without magic and absorbing those last moments of misery. But for people with magic. . .It wants to torture them.

Viktor stands up. Moving always gives him reassurance, lets him feel useful. “We have to find some way to shield you then. It will be looking—”

“I’ve already put up a defense against it,” said Yuuri, clasping his hands. “Thankfully, you saved me before it could find me this time. The pet was keeping me there until the demon could arrive.”

“Are you sure?” Viktor continues to pace. “It will keep chasing you.”

“I don’t think so,” says Yuuri, “It. . . was really confident I would come to it again. I was only a speck of dust in its big plan, a chew toy. A bone to be gnawed on for a long time.”

Viktor interrupts Yuuri’s tirade and his lost stare with a squeeze of fingers. “In my opinion, I am much more important than the demon-thing and _I_ think you are sunshine and honey and naps in the summer,” Viktor sits next to him, scooting close. “I think you are warm muffins and birdsong. You are cicadas buzzing when its hot, you are a warm bath on aching muscles. You are—” He leans into Yuuri to plant butterflly kisses where they would land. “Everything I love. You are warm coffee and hot tea. You are life and love itself.”

Halfway into this speech Yuuri starts weeping, collapsing into Viktor’s shoulder, clutching gratefully at the warmth. “Thank you,” he sputters, “Thank you. I love you so much.” Yuuri empties his tears onto Viktor’s shoulder, holding him tightly. “Please don’t let go. _Please_.”

Viktor pulls Yuuri into his arms, “I think it’s time for bed, birdsong. Sweetest riverwater for a parched throat.”

Yuuri manages to smile and dry his tears. They dress for bed quickly, Yuuri gripping Viktor’s sleeve. “Will you stay? Please? I’m afraid of nightmares.”

Even now, Viktor hesitates.

“I promise to kick you out if I get uncomfortable,” says Yuuri softly, leaning into Viktor’s warmth.

“Very well. Only because you promise.”

Viktor holds him securely, arms wrapped around Yuuri’s chest, hand splayed over his heart, almost clutching at the turn of his torso. “I’ll always be yours, my love. Forever and ever.”

“I’m here,” whispers Yuuri, snuggling into Viktor, feeling the quiet beating of Viktor’s heart through the soulbond. Soul and body of them twined together. Forever. Until death. Yuuri tries to calm his morbid thoughts. He wants to promise Viktor forever too, but can’t. “I’m here.” Yuuri had a taste of Tl’chikgkotl’s influence and knows that this perfect union with Viktor won’t last. Sooner or later Tl’chikgkotl would find him.

Yuuri clutches at Viktor’s strong arms holding him secure, knowing that this wouldn’t last forever. It was a bitter relief, knowing he could throw his all into being with Viktor without worrying about messing up or disappointing his love.

Whatever time they had, Yuuri would give it his _all._ “I’m here, Viktor. Until the end.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am going on vacay!!!!  
> See you in a few weeks ;)

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> :)


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